’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday (1/11) – Liga MX, Asian Up, CAF Champions League lead the way

Noob’s return continues!   Last Monday we celebrated Relegation matches of suckitude for the first time since the holidays.   Today, we return to our Globetreotting ways.  When the biggest leagues provide a little less, we spend our Friday perusing matches  far and wide!

Come, Noobites!   Let’s discover a world of soccer.   As always, we start close to home —

1. Atlas vs. CF America – Liga MX
  • CONCACAF league rank:            doesn’t have ’em, but this is #1
  • Table position:                               Apertura #15, #2 and Liguilla winner
  • Time of season:                              early

Atlas won their first match of the Clausura (second half-season of the Mexican football year). They needed a hot start after crapping the bed for first half-season. After getting just 11 goals that whole time, they already have two.

This is America’s first match. They’re awesome and will almost certainly perform terrible deeds upon their host tonight. View the carnage at 10:00 PM on Univision Deportes.

Fun Fact:  La Barra 51  are Atlas’ primary supporters group, named for 1951 – the last time and I think only time they ever won the top-flight championship.

RESULT:   America   1-2

B. Palestine vs. Australia – Asian Cup

This is the quadrennial championship for the AFC. The qualification rounds are done and the Group Stage is at hand. All the remaining matches are being held in U.A.E. Six pods of four teams each each duke it in a round robin out for two slots in the next, bracketed round.

Defending champs Australia (#41 in the world, #2 in the AFC) actually lost their first match. HYOOJ. Jordan also won their second match, so it’s looking like one slot will be theirs.

Palestine are rated the 16th-best national team in Asia, #99 overall by FIFA. They had a scoreless draw with Syria to open this stage.

RESULT:   Socceroos   0-3

Image result for letter B sexy

 

 

 

 

Number B- enticing you to join the question to be done with Number 2.

 

3. Leeds vs. Derby County – EFL Championship
  • UEFA league rank:                     n/a; second-tier league in England
  • Table positions:                        #1, #6
  • Teams promoted:                      3
  • Time of season:                          middle

Even as only England’s second-highest league, this is probably a top-15 league talent-wise in Europe. The top two teams will be Promoted to Premier League, with the next four having a playoff for one last slot.

Leeds still lead the league, but they’ve allowed it to be a tight race after losing two league matches in a row (and their recent FA Cup match as well). Both were road losses, but six goals conceded is bad against Nottingham and QPR.

Derby have kept their hopes afloat with a lot of draws of late. They don’t appear to have the defense to hold a top-six position, recently or over the season as a whole so far. Noob predicts a shootout today. First one to three goals wins!

RESULT:   Leeds   2-0

emblem

 

 

One of Noob’s all-time favorite crests.

So many design elements here give it a three-dimensional look.  This would make a fine ornamental piece.

 

4. Lobi Stars vs. Mamelodi Sundowns – CAF Champions League

If it seems like the last iteration of this tournament just ended, you’re not wrong. They’re moving from a Feb-Nov. timeframe to an Aug.-May format in 2019. So this 2018-19 version is the tweener, running Dec.-May.

The qualification round is done, and this is the first day of the Group Stage. Four pods of four clubs each compete in a double round robin for two slots each in the next, bracketed round.

Lobi won last year’s Nigerian Premier. This league is ranked #13 in Africa. Just a notch higher and they would’ve qualified the maximum two teams into this event. The Stars’ success is predicated more on defense than scoring.

The Sundowns are one of two teams from the #6-ranked South African Premier. Their league season is about halfway over. They;re in 4th place, but have 3-4 matches in hand over the teams above them. They’re also undefeated, though with lots of draws. They’re even more defensive-minded than Lobi.

If either teams scores, it will be Mamelodi. They should be considered a 1-2 goal favorite today.

RESULT:   Lobi   2-1

Image result for soccer compression socks funny

 

 

 

Soccer compression socks.

5. Mantab vs. Conaree – Saint Kitts and Nevis Premier
  • CONCACAF league rank:                 n/a; prolly not in the top few Caribbean                                                                             ones
  • Table positions:                                 #8, #5
  • Clubs relegated:                                  2
  • Time of season:                                   over 1/3 done

The winner of this league will probably qualify for the next Caribbean Club Shield – a new second-tier tournament for semi-pro and amateur clubs in that region. But neither of these two are likely to be vying for that.

Conaree aren’t bad, but don’t have the offense to nearly compete for international competition. Mantab are just trying to stay in the country’s top flite. The bottom two here will be demoted to First Division next season. Mantab couldn’t score even with the help of a map to the back of an opponent’s net. They’re above the cutline now, barely, and in real danger.

Fun-nish Fact:  Mantab’s home city of Basseterre – the SKN capital – has been destroyed seemingly countless times by war and natural disaster.

RESULT:   1-1

6. Somerset Trojans vs. Robin Hood – Bermuda Premier
  • CONCACAF league rank:               n/a; perhaps a little stronger than SKN
  • Table positions:                                last, first
  • Clubs relegated:                                2
  • Time of season:                                 middle

Undefeated Robin Hood are in a dead heat with Pembroke Hamilton for the league lead, tied on table points and goal differential. Noob tends to favor well-balanced teams like Robin Hood, but P.H. are the defensive stalwarts of the country.

Should be a fabulous title race, especially with wide-open styled X-Roads Warriors close in 3rd. Noob thinks this is one of the region’s fully professional leagues, which means they’ll be able to send up to two clubs to the Caribbean Club Championship.

Somerset have yet to win their first match. Their stats aren’t much worse than other bottom teams here, but they’re deep in last just the same. Defense is their undoing.

RESULT:   Robin Hood   3-5

Image result for somerset bermuda

 

 

Forget the footyball!

Noob’s down for learning that.

7. Tefana vs. Central Sport – Tahiti Ligue 1
  • OFC league ranking:                       n/a; probably about 4th INHO
  • Table positions:                              #4, #2
  • Stakes:                                                 top four make league playoffs, top two make                                                                  OFC CL
  • Time of season:                                almost halfway

Noob estimates this league’s strength based on guessing that national team and league strength probably corelate with smaller nations like these.

There’s actually a three-way tie for #B right now. Defending champs Central don’t bother with defense so much, but score like gangbusters in league.

Seven of the 10 league teams are very much in the hunt. It will be interesting to see if Tefana cam hang on to a spot. They’re well-balanced, but lack enough on offense to make Noob guess no. Manu Ura, more traditional powers Pirae or both will pass them eventually.

Fun Fact:  Tefana are one of two clubs to advance as far as the OFC CL final (2012).

RESULT:   2-2

8. Al Hilal vs. Al Raed – Saudi Pro League
  • AFC league ranking:                  #7
  • Table positions:                          #1, #9
  • Stakes:                                             top three make AFC CL
  • Time of season:                           middle

It’s not quite a two-horse race in Saudi Arabia, but it’s close to being such. Defending champs Al Hilal should be able to maintain their position atop the table hosting a midtable club.

Al Raed have overachieved to date this season. The second-worst offense in the league should be a lodestone around their necks that drags them down close to, if not into, the Relegation Zone.

RESULT:   1-1

WATCH: Al-Hilal supporters pull off freakishly good Mortal Kombat mosaic

 

 

Pretty cool “Mortal Kombat” mosaic the Hilal supporters pulled off.

9. Police vs. AS Kigali – Rwanda Premier
  • CAF league ranking:             unranked
  • Table positions:                    #5, #6
  • Stakes:                                       one berth in CAF CL
  • Time of season:                      almost halfway

Rwanda’s top flite may not be ranked at present, but they are slated to be #17 next version! That will still only be good enough for one league berth into the Champions League there though.

These two are all but out of the running. Police are nine points out of first in the table, still have maybe a glimmer of hope. Kigali are three points further back. Too many draws there. But for anyone to catch the top two, someone’s going to have to figure out how to score on them anyway. They’ve combined to allow just seven goals between them all season.

Fun Fact:  The Police F.C. manager’s first name is “Innocent”.

RESULT:   2-2

10. Adama Kenema vs. Dire Dawa City – Ethiopia Premier
  • CAF league ranking:              tied for #13
  • Table positions:                       #9, #10
  • Clubs Relegated:                       3
  • Time of season:                        earlyish

Like aforementioned Nigeria, Ethiopia’s league needs to climb just one more notch in the rankings to earn a second Champions League invitation. Neither of these clubs are likely to be there. They’re below average of the 16, making them slightly more likely candidates to to be Relegated.

Kenema’s going to be the better team, perhaps finish in the top half, given their offense. Dire Dawa will likely stay just where they are, scuffling along as they neither score many goals nor give up too many.

RESULT:   Adama   1-0

Image result for adama ethiopia funny

 

 

So long from Adama!

Adama University – cool building

’10 to Track’ Sunday (12/2) soccer match previews – Liga MX, Premier League derbies lead the way

The ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.

Noob starts local and with Western Europe, but never ignores the world at large.  I hope that means there’s something here for any fan, not just Noobites.

Follow on the tweeterbox @SoccerNoobUSA.  Check back for match results.  And remember to never travel in a straight line.   Noob keeps things weird.

Note:  Noob’s sources for some CONCACAF things are…inconsistent.   The Ascenso MX (Mexican second division) Apertura Finals second leg may be today.  Really good league, probably one of the best five in CONCACAF.  Use your Google machine powers to find out more.

Also, there may be a Nicaraguan semifinal today.   Same CONCACAF weirdness issue on the interblag.

1. Pumas UNAM vs. Tigres UANL– Liga MX

Opening round of the playoffs, leg two! The top eight from the Apertura (first half-season) qualified. Pumas are the third seed, Tigres sixth. The first leg was at UANL and they won 2-1.

All the momentum is with Tigres. They’ve won four straight. Pumas have only managed one win in their last four tries. Winner will get either CF America or underdog Toluca.   (1:00 PM Eastern, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Pumas   3-1      And so they take the series 4-3 and advance

B. Arsenal vs. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur – English Premier League

This is the North London derby. Remember to pronounce that “ar” instead of “er”. You wouldn’t won to sound literate! For the rawest of Noobites, a derby means they’re bigtime rivals.

Being one of Europe’s best leagues, four clubs will qualify from it for the next UEFA Champions League. Noob-dreaded Hotspur are #3, Arsenal #5 with the season just over 1/3 over.

Arsenal lost their first two league matches of the season but quickly righted their ship and haven’t lost since. This, despite the fact that they don’t play quite the same caliber of defense that the other title-contenders do.

Hotspur have won six straight across all competitions. They have proven capable of winning both high and low-scoring affairs, may well be the top threat to #1 Manchester City. They are also named for historic traitor to multiple kings Harry Percy, are worthy of our scorn. Not that this is likely to affect a match result. Noob just can’t help but throw it in there.   (9:05 AM, Telemundo)

RESULT:   Arsenal   4-2        for great justice

Image result for fat controller pissed off

 

 

 

Sir Topham Hatt is displeased by the Harry Percy fawners.

3. RB Leipzig vs. Borussia Monchengladbach – Bundesliga

Germany’s top league has had a topsy turvy table compared to normal this season. Things are starting to look closer to normal, but M’Gladbach is a club they’re not used to seeing so high up. The enter today #B in the table, and it’s no fluke. Good offense, sterling defense. And they’ve won four in a row over all competitions.

Leipzig either play whatever is better than sterling for defense or parks the bus and doesn’t worry much about scoring. Either way, it worked for them early in the season. They’ve lost three of their last four now though and they sit in 5th place. Top four get into the 209-20 Champions League.   (9:30 AM, FS1)

RESULT:   Leipzig   2-0

4. Alaves vs. Sevilla – La Liga

Spain’s is another top flite that’s table has been filled with less-familiar names at the top. Last year, these were the 7th and 14th-placed teams, respectively. Currently they sit #4 and #1. Top four here, too, qualify for the next CL.

Alaves have lost two of three. They’re not consistently dominating teams much further down the table. They appear to have the defense to perhaps flirt with a top-four finish, but Noob’s not banking on it.

Sevilla are really well-balanced. If it weren’t for hard-charging Barcelona, Noob might think they could truly contend for the title. Plus, Real Madrid appear to be waking from their early season slumber. They’re 5th and will climb higher. For the moment, we get enjoy a breath of fresh air, some new scenery at the top of the table.   (2:45 PM, beIN Sports en Español)

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for Spanish fresh air

 

 

 

Eventually we’ll need these again.

5. Celtic vs. Aberdeen – Scottish League Cup

FA Cup – every club that’s a member or associate members of the Scottish Football Association. Challenge Cup – teams from levels 2-4 of the Scottish football pyramid, plus some lower clubs and a few non-Scottish invites.

And then there’s this one! It’s been being contested by the teams from the top four leagues. This is their one-off Final match. It’s in Glasgow, but not at Celtic’s actual home stadium. Not like they need a home-pitch advantage probably, either. They’ve been leading the Premier League there, while Aberdeen are down in 7th.

Celtic have only allowed six league goals all season, 15 matches. That’s insane. But while Celtic should be favored no matter what, Noob doesn’t have a sense of how big a deal this particular Cup is there. Some tournaments, some places, clubs use these as chances to give playing time to bench players.

RESULT:   Celtic   1-0       trophy time!

6. Manchester City vs. Arsenal – England Women’s Soccer League

It’s a battle of the two undefeated teams in the ladies’ top league in England! No one’s even gotten a draw with Arsenal, either. No wonder, they average over four goals per match.

Three teams have gotten draws with Man City. They score over twice as often as any other team in the league – yet only ¾ as much as Arsenal.

RESULT:   Man City   2-0

Image result for White Castle funny

 

Wish I could find the match on TV.   

Ready to party with leftover White Castle.

7. Heredinao vs. Alajuense – Costa Rica Premier

The Final! Noob loves some Costa Rican soccer. This league is every bit as strong as MLS. This is for the Apertura (first half-season) title. And this is the first leg, so they’ll play another match at Alajuense in a few days to complete things.

Alajuense tied for 1st in the regular season table, but lost out on goal differential. They had a quirky 22 matches in that not a single one ended in a draw. No other club had fewer than three.

Herediano tied for 3rd, but entered these Playoffs as the #4 seed, also losing out on GD. They’re a more traditional power there, but weren’t as strong on either side of the ball as their guests today.

RESULT:   Herediano   2-1

8. Deportiva Lara vs. Zamora – Venezuela Premier

Like most or perhaps all Latin American leagues, Venezuela divides their soccer year into separate Apertura and Clausura half-seasons. And for each half, they have a playoffs, crown a champions. But unlike many of those others, here the two tournaments champions face off at year’s end to decide an overall champion. Noob like-y.

Lara won the Clausura playoffs, despite finishing just 4th in the regular season. Zamora finished #B and then won the Apertura playoffs, but weren’t nearly so strong during the Clausura. There, they finished just 7th.

This is a two-legged, home-and-away series for the title. Zamora gets the honor of hosting the second leg, presumably by having the better overall record on the year. Both teams have already qualified for the next Copa Libertadores, so this is strictly for the shiny trophy.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for shiny trophy funny

 

 

The runner-up trophy.

Maybe…

9. Emelec vs. LDU Quito – Ecuador Serie A

Ecuador call their two half-seasons simply Opening and Closing Stages. Concept is the same as Apertura and Clausura though. Or maybe they use those words there and Noob’s sources are just goofy about not translating for Ecuador for some reason. The world is weird.

In any case, there are just two matches to go in the Closing Stage. Opening Stage champions LDU de Quito trail Emelec by two points in the table. As many as four other teams appear mathematically alive for 1st, but one of these two is going to win it.

Emelec haven’t lost in six straight matches. De Quito have also been on a tear. Well, save for a weird loss for soon-to-be-Relegated Tecnico Universitario.

This one’s a big enough match that GOL TV is actually airing it internationally. You’d have to have a deep, deep satellite package to get it here stateside, but it’s on at 12:00 PM.

RESULT:   0-0

10. Basel vs. Young Boys of Bern – Swiss Super League

We finish our Track back in Europe. Noob’s saved this one for last because while it’s an irresistible #B-#1 matchup, there’s no title race going on here.

YBB are ahead by a whopping 13 points in the table less than halfway through the season. That said, Switzerland are a highly-enough ranked league in Europe that they’ll qualify two club into the next Champions League.

Basel have been the more recent studs, but might really only be the fourth-best team this season. The defense is down this season, the offense not enough to make up for that lack.

RESULT:   YBB   1-3

Image result for Basel funny

 

 

So long from the Christmas Market in Basel, Switzerland!

 

Home of creepy, nightmare-inducing holiday mushroom figurines.

You’re welcome.

 

Extra Credit:   Liverpool vs Everton – English Premier League, any of the Second Round English FA Cup matches, #3 Hearts vs #2 Rangers – Scottish Premiership,  #4 Anderlecht vs #B Genk – Belgian First Division A

#2 Vidi vs #3 Budapest Honved – Hungarian NB 1, #3 Academy Pandev vs. #B Vardar Skpje – Macedonian Prva Liga, #3 Feyenoord vs. #1 PSV Eindhoven – Dutch Eredivisie, #4 Besiktas vs #3 Galatasaray – Turkish Super Lig

#5 Independiente vs. #6 Boca Juniors – Argentinian Primera, a Peruvian Primera semfinal, #B Al Nassr vs. #4 Al-Wehda – Saudi Premier, #4 Etoile du Sahel vs. #B Sfaxien – Tunisian Ligue 1

Quarterfinal matches from El Salvador and Guatemala, a semifinal from Honduras, #1 Village Superstars vs. #3 St. Paul’s United – St. Kitts and Nevis Premier, plus maybe a final from Panama.  Info on Panama is the worst.

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition (11/27-29) soccer match previews – MLS Semis end the MWE!

The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game” – hit their peak of importance today. MLS Semifinals! After tonight, we’ll know who’s playing for the big trophy.

Tuesday and Wednesday’s match results follow below. Remember you can always check back for results on every single day, plus often a note or two about who starred, or how the results affected what was at stake.

Thursday

9. Sporting Kansas City vs. Portland Timbers – Major League Soccer

Second leg of the Western Conference Finals! While any team would of course like to get a road win every time, #1 KC got the draw in Portland in the first match of this two-game series. Now they have the chance to take care of business at home.

But that scoreless draw has to be troubling for them. Goalkeeper Tim Melia of USMNT fame played well and Graham Zusi was a monster on the back defensive line. But Noob highlighted Daniel Salloi for that first match and instead of starring, he was the weak link, losing duels and not being terribly good with passes.

The 5th-seed Portland was better on passing, held the ball longer, and created more shots on goal. That didn’t and won’t matter if they can’t get better play from striker Jeremy Ebobisse though.

Ultimately, it’s hard to beat home cookin’. KC did what was necessary, if just, and should be a moderate to heavy favorite at home.   (9:30 PM Eastern, ESPN)

RESULT:   Portland    2-3           Diego Valeri with two Timbers goals, including the game winner at 90′

10. New York Red Bulls vs. Atlanta United – Major League Soccer

Some are calling the Eastern Conference finals the de facto league finals. Both teams had several more point in the the table than K.C.

#B Atlanta laid the smack down at their place in the first leg of this overall Semi, 3-0. Franco Escobar was the slightly-surprisng star with both a goal and an assist. This club has the best offense in the entire league. It will be interesting to see if they keep dancing with the girl that brought them and continue attacking, or try to take the air out of the ball with such a big lead from the first leg.

NYRB have a HYOOJ hole to dig themselves out of. Lots of goals will certainly mean the involvement of BrandonWright-Phillips, who looked like an MVP the first half of the MLS season. Not that he tanked after that, but his effectiveness definitely diminished. But if the right side of Red Bulls’ back line get manhandled again (Tim Parker, Michael Murillo), BWP’s possible resurgence won’t matter.   (7:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   NYRB   1-0         But it’s not enough!    ATL will host the single-match Final versus Portland.

Image result for the world of red bull funnySo long from…wherever the Red Bull box cart races were held.

Yeeeah.  Wow.

 

Extra Credit: Two Liga MX qf’s, a couple dozen group stage Europa league matches, Copa Sudamericana sf, El Salvador and Guatemala qf’s, second round Arab Club Championship

Wednesday

3. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur vs. Inter Milan – UEFA Champions League

You can scroll down to the Tuesday portion of the Midweek Track for a few extra details on the event, should you be a completely unseasoned Noobite.

Noob-reviled Hotspur is nearly out of Champions League, as is good, right and appropriate. When your club is named for an historic traitor (Harry Percy), good things cannot follow.

The scourge of England’s Premier League, Hotspur trail Inter by three points in the table and won the first match between them (tiebreaker). Since Hotspur’s remaining match other than this one is at #1 Barcelona, they’re in desperate need of a win today.

Hotspur are winners of five straight across all competitions. Inter are in just 5th in Italy’s Serie A. Where Hotspur lack a little offensive punch compared to many other top teams, Inter have been sagging on defense. Bad matchup for the visitors, sadly.   (3:00 PM Eastern, TNT)

RESULT:   Hotspur   1-0

Image result for sir topham hatt furious

 

 

Sir Topham Hatt — flexing the pimp hand.  Gotta keep it strong for those Hotspur COYS.

 

4. Paris Saint-Germain vs. Liverpool – UEFA Champions League

This is the most competitive Group going here. Liverpool and Napoli are tied for first. PSG are just a point behind and Red Star Belgrade only a point behind them in turn.

PSG are running roughshod over Ligue 1 – no losses or draws. Yet many people Noob reads suggest the league is not very good this year. Liverpool have yet to lose in Champions League, putting them in second place there. Neither team allow goals.

Both teams are stronger than the ones in Track Match three here. If either doesn’t qualify for the Knockout Round, that’s big news.   (3:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   PSG   2-1

5. Porto vs. Schalke – UEFA Champions League

Three matches from one event? Thought you were filtering event like these, Noob.

Oh, but I am. But I won’t ignore important ones this late in the Group Stage just for the sake of it. Porto is Portugal’s #1 team. That doesn’t make them one of the very strongest clubs remaining, but they won’t be a pushover for anyone next round. They’re dominating the Primeira Liga and can score and defend amazingly.

Germany’s Schalke trail Porto by two in the Group C table. An upset win today would guarantee them a berth in the Knockout Round. And it would be a remarkable upset at that. In the Bundesliga, they’re playing so darn badly that they’re fighting just to stay out of the Relegation Zone.

They don’t defend half badly, but they didn’t wow on offense last year and don’t score much at all now. Still, they lead the Group 3rd-place team by four, seem likely to sneak out of the Group Stage no matter how today goes.

RESULT:   Porto   3-1

Image result for schalke 04 funny

 

 

 

Is that the German Mr. Magoo?

 

6. Monterrey vs. Santos – Liga MX

Let the playoffs begin! This is the Liguilla. The eight best teams from the Apertura (first half-season) qualified. This is a bracketed tournament. Each pair of teams will play two-legged, home-and-away series.

It is seeded just like the NCAA basketball tourney would be, and this is your 4/5 matchup. Santos has been a shade better on both sides of the ball. More, they haven’t lost to Monterrey in their last three matches. But Monterrey haven’t lost in three matches, while Santos didn’t win in any of their last three.   (10:06 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Monterrey    1-0

7. Saprissa vs. Herediano – Costa Rica Premier

This is CONCACAF’s third-strongest league. They might argue they’re better than MLS. Mexicans might argue their second division league is better. Regardless, this is a sneaky-good football league.

And the Playoffs are already underway! The top four qualified for this postseason tournament. Apertura regular season champs Saprissa host this second match of the home-and-away Semifinal series. Herediano – the other perennial power here – finished 4th, won the first leg 1-0 at their place.

Saprissa was better on both sides of the ball all Apertura, but particularly so on offense. That one-goal deficit should be one they can overcome today, move on to the Final.

RESULT:   Saprissa   1-0       …which means the series was tied and they moved on to penalty kicks!    Herediano advances to the final on those, 2-4

Image result for costa rica premier logo

 

 

One foot-sport, one heart.  

But the logo’s more than a little puffy-nipply.   No.

8. Portmore United vs. Tivoli Gardens – Jamaica Premier

This, too, is one of CONCACAF’s stronger domestic leagues – almost certainly the best of the island nations in our federation. Hallooo, neighbors! Noob’s making a concerted effort to get to know ya. May I borrow a cup of sugar?

The top six finishers here will make the Playoffs, with the top two getting byes into the Semifinals. They’re a dozen matches into the season, and rhese two are #1 and #3. This is a classic best offense versus best defense scenario. An upset win wouldn’t move Gardens into 1st, but would tighten up an already good-looking race.

RESULT:   Portmore   2-0

Extra Credit:   the other UEFA Champions League matches, Costa Rican semifinal, Liga MX qf; 

Also, Spain’s Copa del Rey round of 32 match, Copa Argentina sf, Copa Sudamericana sf, Czech Cup Round of 16, Guatemala National League sf

Also, #1 Shkendija vs. #3 Academy Pandev in Macedonai’s Prva Liga, Russian FA Cup qf, very early round CAF Champions League, #3 Brittania vs. #2 Nacional in Aruba’s Division di Honor, second round Arab Club Championship

Tuesday

1. Lyon vs. Manchester City – UEFA Champions League

But make no mistake, I’m glad it’s back, baybeeeeee! A quick reminder for the newest Noobites what the it is:. League champions and other top teams of Europe in the crown jewel of all club tournaments. They’re currently in the Group Stage. Pods of four playing double round robins. Top two finishers from each will advance to the Knockout (single elimination, bracket-style) Stage. Everybody’s got two matches to go.

Man City is thought by many to be the #1 team in the world currently. They’re undefeated in Premier League play, lead Lyon by three point in the Group F table. But they’ve lost one match.

To Lyon. At Man City! The French team is a distant #B to undefeated Paris Saint-Germain in Ligue 1 there, but #B nonetheless. They haven’t lost to anyone, anywhere, besides PSG since August. Yet strangely, that win over Man City is their only win in Group F. All their other matches have ended in draws.

So what’s at stake? Noob’s laser-focused of late on stakes, letting you know why any given match is important. Man City are almost 100% to advance to the Knockout Round now, and any result (win or draw) will seal that deal.

A win for Lyon would do the same. Anything else, and the door is very much open for the other two Group F clubs, trailing by three and four points, respectively. So yes, remaining undefeated with a draw would leave the, in jeopardy yet. What a tournament.

Oh, and based on ELO ratings (thank you, footballdatabase.com), Noob thinks Man City will win easily, 1-2 goal margin, in France.

RESULT:   2-2         Maxwell Cornet with a goal and an assist for Lyon as they blew two leads.  

B. AS Roma vs. Real Madrid – UEFA Champions League

Noob is often reluctant to feature multiple matches from the same league or tournament on a given day. I wish to act as filter for we newish fans, allow us to focus on the most important things, yet with a broad gaze. Eight matches today for UEFA CL. We can do two.

It’s an easy decision when the three-time defending champions are in the mix, too. Real and Roma are tied for the Group G lead. The next team down is five points behind. Look, these two are going through to the Knockout Stage no matter how the match ends today. But finishing 1st or runner-up matters for seeding in the next Round, so this match is still monster.

Defending champs or not, this isn’t the same Real team of recent years. Losing the greatest active player in the world – Cristiano Ronaldo – will have that effect. They’re in just 5th place in La Liga and just suffered a blistering 3-0 loss to Eibar. If you don’t know that name, that’s the point. And their newfound issues are on both sides of the ball.

Yet after a 3rd place Italian Serie A finish last year, Roma have slipped as many places as Real – down to 7th at present. They’d appeared to have the righted their ship to some degree of late, but than lost to Udinese last time out. Once again, if you don’t know that club, that’s the point.

Real’s crash back to earth this year has been the steeper fall. Still, Noob wouldn’t put Roma at any better than an even match for them at home.

RESULT:   Real   0-2

New feature! EXTRA CREDIT will appear with some frequency now – these are events, matches Noob scouted for a given date but that didn’t make the cut for the Track.

Extra Credit: Early round-Coupe de France, Scotland’s FA Cup, very early round 2018-19 CAF Champions League, later round EFL Cup (tournament of tertiary importance in England), and Semifinals of Africa’s women’s Cup of Nations – all are in action.

ALSO! Congrats to Guadalajara, UANL, America and Pachuca of Liga MX Femenil. They all just qualified for the Semifinals of the Apertura (first half-season) there.

Noob’s trying to learn women’s and more CONCACAF soccer in general, but the site I use (for the moment) screws up dates something fierce. I’d scouted the Quarterfinals I thought were today, but they’re in the books already. Part of the learning for Noob is finding the best resources.

 

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday – Liga MX, Ligue 1, and soccer hinterlands of wonder

International Break is over.  Football club fans can breathe again.   Hey, UEFA Nations league turned out pretty hawt in its Group Stage though.

Now we’re back into the club scene.   On Friday’s, the scheds always run fairly light.  But that just gives is a chance to jet-set around the world together.

The Track starts close to home, as always.  Pretty Eurocentric all the way around, though we’ll bounce to some less-visited leagues there before we meander even farther.

Turn ON electronic devices, smoke ’em if you got ’em and don’t wait – help yourself to the drink cart in back.  Let’s take off!

1. Morelia vs. Cruz Azul – Liga MX

We ease out of International Break – when so many of the top domestic leagues everywhere have been off so that players can take part on their home National Teams’ matches – with a dandy in Mexico.

Every club is about to play their last match of the Apertura. (That’s the first half-season. Most of Latin America has two separate league tournaments each year.) The top half the league (eight clubs) will qualify for the Liguilla (postseason tournament).

Cruz Azul lead second-place CF America by three points in the table. That means if they can manage any kind of result (win or draw, worth three points and one, respectively), they will have wrapped up the #1 seed. True to form from all season, Cruz Azul has only allowed two goals in their last five matches, all wins and draws for them.

Morelia are currently #8, clinging to that last Liguilla berth. Obviously, this is a daunting last match, but at least they get to host it. With a win, they could actually climb as high as 5th place. A loss or even a draw opens the door for the two teams which are two points behind them.

Morelia are as good on offense as their defensively-leaning guests today. But they allow about twice as many goals. Noob thinks they’re good for no better than a draw on their own pitch today.   (8:00 PM Eastern, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Cruz   0-2

B. Lyon vs. St. Etienne – France Ligue 1

This is the best European match of the day, though there are only three being held in the top leagues there. It comes from a league that’s catching a lot of criticism this year. The league has been slipping in the UEFA rankings, and now only its top three clubs will qualify for the next Champions League (the pinnacle of international club tournament competition).

Also, it’s considered a one-club league for quality this year. Paris Saint-Germain are 13-0-0. The other 19 clubs are being referred to as a “farmer’s league”.

** A what? Noob had this answered for us on the Bros Talking Soccer podcast recently as a listener question they fielded. It’s a demeaning term for amateur or semi-pro clubs or leagues in which the players all have day jobs. Think “beer league” or “rec league” as a rough American equivalent from softball or other sports, though those aren’t quite as disparaging. **

In what is otherwise a very tight table, these two are in 4th and 5th place. Lyon have been the more successful team recently, as their competing in the currently-running Champions League. In their last 10 league matches, they only lost one to someone other than PSG. Still, the defense has only been meh.

St. Etienne get a lot of low-scoring draws, don’t appear to have the firepower to compete for a top-three spot. But they’ve not lost in their last four matches, and so can’t be discounted, even in on the road.   (3:00 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   Lyon   1-0       Though those around them now have a game in hand over Lyon, the win today puts them in #B.

Image result for letter B farm

 

 

 

Number B sees no issue with idea of a farmers league.

3. Go Ahead Eagles vs. TOP Oss – Netherlands Eerste Divisie

This is from one of Europe’s better footballing countries, though not its top league. Eerste is the Dutch second division.

Coolly-named Go Ahead Eagles (who were originally “Be Quick”. Really.) are in 1st. That’s the only table position guaranteed to get Promoted to Eredivisie (the Dutch Premier League). At least one other will move up, but there will be playoffs at season’s end to determine what club or clubs get to move up as well.

Top OSS are in 4th. They don’t play “small ball”, but concede the fewest goals in the league at the expense of scoring a very pedestrian amount of goals themselves. They’re not the direct threat for the title that #B Sparta Rotterdam is.

RESULT:   Oss   0-1          With the upset, Oss remain in 4th, but now only two points behind the three co-leaders.

4. Olimpija Ljubljana vs. Mura – Slovenia Prva Liga

Now we deep further down the UEFA domestic rankings to league #30. That’s a touch below average, but remember that Europe’s is the top confederation in the world. And hey – they’re playing. It’s Friday 😛

The majority of leagues qualify just one club to Champions League, which is the case here. Only two teams are at all competing for the title. Ljubljana and Maribor are the two perennial powerhouses and current leaders. Ljubljana trail them by four points in the table here at about the season’s halfway point.

The second-best European international tournament for clubs is the Europa League. Mura is in 3rd right now, just high enough to snag one of those slots. Noob thinks Domzale is going to pass them soon, after the drubbing Mura will endure today.

RESULT:   2-2       Mura with the come-from-behind W!     Goals for them at 89′ and 90′.   Your a bright, shining star, Tomi Horvat!

Image result for Slovenian comedian

 

Slovenia!  Come for the footyball, stay for the…stern-looking comedy clubs?

That’s comedian Marjan Sarec.

5. Flamutari vs. Partizani Tirana – Albania Super League

So the top 30 is about as far down the rankings as Noob looks in Europe for matches with which to intrigue and delight. But now is when we begin our true Friday Globetrotting, Noobites!

Albania’s league is just a little further down the ladder from Slovenia’s (#34). Naturally, they also get just one team into Champions League. Tirana are #1, two points up on Skenderbeu Korce. These are the only two realistic title-chasers.

If you recognize the name Skenderbeu, congratulations! They’ve been on Noob before, noteworthy for having been banned 10 years from international competion for match-fixing. Flamutari are in 6th.

RESULT:   Falmutari   1-0       Upset City!

6. Balzan vs. Hamrun Spartans – Malta Premier

Couple o’ midtable teams from Malta. #47 league in Europe. Let’s just Fun Fact these bad boys.

Fun Fact: The village of Balzan is only a few thousand people. But it’s part of an area known as Three Villages and borders the city of Birkirkara (country’s second-largest).

Fun Fact: Hamrun are also nicknamed tas-sikkina, meaning “of the knife”, roughly. It might refer to many people from there being stevedores on the docks, or to Sicilians living there illegally in the 1500’s who were known to do dances that involved pulling the stiletto knives from their socks and waving them around.

RESULT:   2-2

7. Gibraltar United vs. Glacis United – Gibraltar Premier

League #51 of 55! When you’ve only got a population of maybe 35,000 people, hard to climb very high. Gibraltar United is in 3rd. They’re fewer than ten matches into the season, but it already appears they won’t have the defense to keep up with the usual championship suspects – Europa FC and Lincoln Red Imps. Glacis are in 7th.

RESULT:    United   2-1

8. Ferizaj vs. Prishtina – Kosovo Premier

Kosovo’s league is #53. That’s so low, the country only gets two clubs into the Europa League instead of the more usual three.

But this may be mostly due to how new specifically-Kosovar football is. They’ve only had their own recognize football federation since the 2016-17, and didn’t start earning points for ranking until a year after that. With a population of about two million, they should be able to raise the league to a a higher profile in time.

Ferizaj are in second-to-last place, a position that would get them Relegated at season’s end. So yes, there is at least one more level if football there. Prishtina wouldn’t know. They’re in 1st, having only given up four goals in fifteen matches.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for Прва савезна лига у фудбалу

 

 

Prishtina was the best club from what is now Kosovo back in the Yugoslav First League days.

9. Aiglon vs. New Star – Martinique Division d’Honneur

That southern European weather was dreamy for a couple matches there. Kosovo? Eh. So to the Carribbean we go!

Powerhouse league?  Nah.   But despite being a French Overseas Territory (and so non-FIFA member), in CONCACAF.  Hallooooo, neighbors.

The top two finishers in this league will qualify for the Caribbean Football Union (subgroup of CONCACAF) Club Championship.  That event, in turn, serves as a qualifier for the CONCACAF Champions League.  It’s very early, but Aiglon are #B and the numbers indicate they’ll stay there and have only one threat for the title.   New Star are 5th place.

RESULT:   Aiglon   2-1

10. Al Hudod – Al Quwa Al Jawiya – Iraq Premier

We finish our Trekking Track in Asia! This isn’t quite a top-ten league there, but close, and high enough that they qualify the maximum two teams into the AFC Champions League.

Al Jawiya were runners-up last year, 6-0-0 so for this season. Early results indicate Al Shorta likely to be their top threat. It certainly won’t be Al Hudod, wallowing down in 13th. Why so bad? See that there? Noob just scored on Hudod. There, it happened again. Bless you. Someone sneezed and scored on ’em. You get the idea.

RESULT:   Hudod   1-0     A clean sheet?  Well, well!

Kahramana

 

 

 

So long from Baghdad, home of Al Hudod!

 

Statue of Karahmana and the forty jars

’10 to Track’ Sunday (11/18) soccer matches – UEFA Nations League leads us once again

European International break doesn’t stop the ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game!   Can’t even slow this train down.

1. England vs. Croatia – UEFA Nations League

Here’s the link to my brief Explainer on what this event is:

http://www.soccernoob.com/2018/01/01/uefa-nations-league-explainer/

This is the last match to be played in this League A group of three. Spain is done, two points up on both these teams. So if either wins, that team goes to the Playoffs. If the match ends in a draw, Spain advances.

FIFA-ranked #5 England surely had no trouble with the USMNT in their recent friendly. They haven’t lost in their last four matches overall, between this event and friendlies. And the offense has picked up, with six goals in their last two matches.

#4 Croatia will be a stern test. They struggled after losing to France in the World Cup final. But a friendly win over Jordan and 3-2 win over Spain in this tournament seem to indicate they’re back in form.

Key players to watch today will be Raheem Sterling for England (two goals in the Spain match) and Tin Jedvaj for Croatia (two goals in their Spain match).   (9:00 AM EST, ESPN2)

B. Switzerland vs. Belgium – UEFA Nations League

This is another League A match. Different Group, of course. #1-ranked Belgium – who haven’t lost in six straight – lead the Swiss by three heading into this last match. But they’re tied on goal differential, so win of any margin for #8-Switzerland puts them in the Playoffs on the GD tiebreaker.

While it can be easy to overvalue friendlies, a home 0-1 loss to Qatar in their last outing isn’t promising for Switzerland. They haven’t beaten anyone but Group-last place Iceland (twice) since June.   (2:45 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Switzerland 5-2         Playoff time for the Swiss

Image result for icelandic letter B

buRES

 

Two letter A’s in the Icelandic alphabet.  Fine.

But there’s only one Number B.

3. Guinea vs. Ivory Coast – Africa Cup of Nations qualification

The ACN is next year, Africa’s top tournament for men’s national teams. Groups of four are competing in this current event, with the top two finishers in each getting in.

Two matches to go in Group H. Guinea lead Ivory Coast by three in the table. Between the two of them, they haven’t lost in ten matches overall. They’re ranked #65 and #64 in the world, respectively.   (12:00 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   1-1

4. Paris Saint-Germain vs. Lyon – France Division 1

This is the French women’s top flite. Lyon is the major power in all Europe, has been for years. They’re undefeated again, have outscored opponents 37-1.

Today represents their toughest test of the year. PSG are also undefeated, though someone got a draw on them. Their GD is 24-3. Noob thinks they can keep this within a goal, but no better.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for angry French women

 

Never doubt that the women of France aren’t tough tough tough.

5. SS Jeanne d’Arc vs. Besancon Football – Coupe de France

Like yesterday, we’re catching another early (7th-) round match of the French FA Cup in order to spy on a CONCACAF team.

Noob’s not sure how Reunion qualifies its two teams into this event. JdA only finished 5th in last year’s Reunion Premier. Neither did they win the territory’s own Cup tournament. They’re #B in this year’s league season, which is nearly done. They still don’t score much, but the defense has been much improved.

Besancon play in Championnat National 3, France’s fifth-tier league. This league has many regional divisions (groups). They play in Bourgogne-Franche-Comté (Group E). They’re in 5th place in their league season. They don’t score much, either. Noob’s not got the experience to handicap a match like this, but doens’t look like it’s likely to be a high-scoring affair.

RESULT:   Besancon   0-1  AET

6. Tauro vs. Arabe Unido – Panama National League

They’ve reached the Apertura (first half-season) postseason Semifinals here. This is the first match of a two-legged tie to see which will play for the title. Tauro are the #3 seed, play much more offensively than anyone else in that league. Arabe Unido won several close matches to get the #B seed. If Tauro score early in this, Noob predicts a rout will ensue.

RESULT:   Tauro   2-0

Image result for tauro fc

 

 

Noob is not down with the bull half-face thing.

That feels like nightmare-fodder.

7. Nicaragua vs. Haiti – CONCACAF Nations League qualification

Six of CONCACAF’s best men’s national teams are not having to participate in this event. They will be placed in League A of the inaugural Nations League next year. All the other member nations are battling for placement in the various League levels, just like UEFA’s NL set-up. The top ten finishers in this event will also qualify for the Gold Cup, the federation’s biennial championship.

Since each team plays just four games, there’s a lot of room for volatility. And we’re getting it. Haiti are ranked just #102 in the world, yet are in 1st in this event with just this last match to go. They’ve outscored opponents 17-1.

Nicaragua are ranked even lower (#127), but also vying for a Gold Cup slot. They’re in 9th. They likely need a win to maintain their GC invitation, though a draw today doesn’t leave them out automatically. They only score half again as much as Haiti have been, are just an even match on their own pitch today.

RESULT:   Haiti   0-2

8. Brendam United vs. Brendam Harbor – Isle of Sodor Premier League

Noob’s exclusive coverage of the Isle’s inaugural FA league continues! I haven’t been able to yet give the IoSPL the attention I intended to, especially given how closely I documented the first-ever IoS FA Cup here over the summer. I’ve been hopping the pond quite a bit, soccer and other obligations keeping me stateside oft times.

Suffice it to say for now that these are historically two of the best teams on Sodor. Of course, that “history” is tons of friendlies and loose, sporadic league-like organizations that have come and gone over many years here. Now that they’re organizing their football on this national scale, it’s hard to know how much water past results hold.

Also, Harbor won the FA Cup. And on defense, a soccer virtue not typically held in particular esteem on the Isle. Shockingly, B-Utd didn’t even make it out of the Group Stage, finishing third there. Just couldn’t find the offense (four goals in three matches).

RESULT:   Brendam Utd   10-3         As often happens on Sodor, once a team is 2-3 goals late,  what little defense might’ve been happening evaporates.

Image result for what happened?

 

I don’t know.  The font just went weird.    

I blame having switched from MS Word to OpenOffice.

9. Tahiti vs. New Caledonia – Women’s World Cup qualification

Eight teams from the OFC are vying for one spot in World Cup next year. They’ve been divided into two Groups, with the top two finishers in each advancing to a Knockout Round.

This is the first match for both teams. They’re ranked #157 and #155 in the world. This makes them the fourth and third-best teams in this federation.

RESULT:    N.C.   2-4

10. Vitoria Setubal vs. Tondela – Portugal League Cup

The Taca de Liga has just reached its Group Stage, where 16 teams remain. They’ve been divided into Groups of four. Only the winners of each will advance to the Knockout Round.

This is not the country’s FA Cup, but rather a secondary Cup tournament contested by only clubs from the top two leagues. V.S. is a midtable Primeira Liga team, while Tondela is a fair bit worse. The point here isn’t so much this particular match so much as to just introduce Noobites to the tournament period.

RESULT:   Tondela   1-2

Image result for Setubal funny

 

So long from Setubal!

Come for the soccer, stay for the boutique apartments.

’10 to Track’ Saturday (11/17) soccer matches – UEFA Nations League leads the way once again

This site serves two purposes, or such is Noob’s intent.   We learn about the leagues and tournaments of the world through the lens of a newish American fan.  And it’s all presented with pretty oddball humor oft times, something for fans Noobite and veteran alike (hopefully).

Weekends, though, the zaniness gets comparatively left by the wayside.  Even during this, the European International Break – which in turn affects most of the world – Saturday and Sunday will offer the best matches of the week.

So let’s dig in and see what goodies the day has to offer.

1. Italy vs. Portugal – UEFA Nations League

Here’s a direct link to understand the basics of what this tournament is: http://www.soccernoob.com/2018/01/01/uefa-nations-league-explainer/

Portugal are in the driver’s seat to win the Group and make the Playoffs. They already lead Italy by two in the table and still have a match to play after this. For Italy, this is fourth and final Group Stage match.

Italy must have a win today and than likely are forced to root for Poland to beat Portugal in the final match for those two. If Italy win by more than two today, than a Poland-Portugal draw would suffice. If Italy can at least get a draw today, they will have avoided any possibility of being Relegated to the League B for the next incarnation of this tournament in 2020-21.

Italy have dropped to #19 in the FIFA rankings and failed to even qualify for the last 2018 World Cup. In getting an 0-1 win over Poland in this tournament, they had their first win of any kind since March, a streak of six matches. Just like our U.S. men’s national team, they’re trending towards younger players in a reset, and it’s showing.

Portugal made it all the way to the World Cup quarterfinals, are ranked #7 in the world. They beat the Italians 1-0 in their first meeting of this event and have one three straight matches. (2:45 PM EST, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   0-0

B. Serbia vs. Montenegro – UEFA Nations League

This one is in League C, yet that means there’s more at stake, in a way. Those League A teams are all likely to qualify for the 2020 European Championships through a variety of channels. Not so necessarily with teams down here. Each League’s winner automatically qualifies for the Euros, and this may be the only realistic shot for some teams.

Both these teams have played four of their six matches. League C groups have four teams each, unlike the three-team pods in League A, so their double round-robin is longer. Serbia are a point clear of Montenegro and two ahead of Romania.

The teams are ranked #35 and #39, respectively. Given that Serbia won the first match between them on the road 0-2, it’s hard not to see them as the favorite today.

RESULT:   Serbia   2-1

Image result for unrealistic letter B

 

The Number B brings unmitigated joy!

No Number Two ever prompted that degree of delight.

3. Palestino vs. Audax Italiano – Copa Chile

It’s the second leg of the Final! And the stakes are high. The winners qualify for the next Copa Libertadores (South American Champions League). Neither of these teams was anywhere near the top of the country’s Premier League standings, so this has been there only possible path.

In the first leg, Palestino scored the only goal at 90 +3′. Now they have the chance to take care of business at home for the title. But they’re particularly challenged on defense typically, so don’t look for them to be able to take the air out of the ball and hold on for a 0-0 draw for the match.

RESULT:   Palestino   3-2        Victors!    Congrats on Copa Libertadores invite

4. UPNFM vs. Platense – Honduras National League

Honduras’ football season is divided into separate Apertura and Clausura halves. The Apertura regular season is completed and the Playoffs have begun. The top six make these Playoffs, with the top two seeds getting byes.

These two enter as the #3 and #6 seeds. UPNFM earned a 1-1 draw in the first match of this two-legged quarterfinal tie. They’ll likely look to push the pace at home, which is going to be very hard on the visitors. Platense didn’t score much all regular season. Anything but an 0-1 win for Platense is probably doom.

RESULT:   Platense   0-1      On to the Semifinals!

Image result for soccer doom

5. Namibia vs. Guinea Bassau – Africa Cup of Nations qualification

The CAF’s premier national team competition is next year. This tournament is the play-in for that. Groups of four, each clubs plays a home-and-away round robine. Top two finishers in each get invites to the ACN.

South Africa hosting Nigeria might be the best game from this event today. But more is at stake in this one. These two are tied for 1st after four matches. More, the two teams below them in their Group each have a win and a draw. And Zambia is easily the highest-ranked team in the group, so one can expect them to make a push their last two matches.

Namibia’s been the best of this bunch on defense, G-B on offense. Midfield control may well decide this one. A low-scoring draw would serve both reasonably well, giving both a four-point lead over the others. That feels an unlikely conspiracy though. A win for either all but guarantee a top-two finish.

RESULT:    0-0       low-scoring draw it is

6. Barry Town vs. T.N.S – Wales Premier

It’s International Break in Europe, but that’s not keeping the Welsh top flite from gearing up. Surprising Barry Town are merely average on both sides of the ball, yet sit tied for 1st nearly halfway through the season. They even just pulled off a very solid road draw against co-leaders Connah’s Quay.

Perennial power The New Saints have been perhaps even more surprising, at least of late. They’ve dropped two matches in a row to midtable clubs and only got a draw against another just before that. The studly offense has simply vanished somehow.

This is one of Europe’s weaker leagues, so only the winner will get a berth in the next Champions League.

RESULT:   T.N.S.   0-2

Image result for surprising gif

 

Steve Carrell is pleasantly surprised by Barry Town.  Perhaps.

7. ASE Matoury vs. US Concarneau – Coupe de France

The French FA Cup is just getting underway. Well, the Regional Leagues’ amateur clubs have been competing to get to this, the Seventh Round. This is where qualifying teams from France’s overseas territories enter in, as well as the pro teams from League Two.

The overseas territories’ entries are the reason Noob is choosing to start highlighting this competition so early on. Some of those territories are CONCACAF members, and I’m more focused than ever on our getting familiar with our neighbors.

Noob’s not certain how ASE Matoury qualified from French Guiana. They and US Matoury finished #B and #3 in 2017-18 Division d’Honneur and are playing the Coupe, but not winners Le Geldar.

US Concarneau play out of the third division Championnat National league, where they’re struggling on defense and sitting midtable. Noob doesn’t have any sense of how the leagues and clubs compare, so it will be fun to see how the overseas territorial clubs do.

RESULT:   Concarneau   2-3

8. Edinburgh City vs. Alloa Athletic – Scotland Challenge Cup

Teams from levels two through five of the Scottish football pyramid compete in this Knockout tournament. They also invite a handful of teams from other nearby countries.

This is a quarterfinal match. Hosts Edinburgh are from the fourth-tier Scottish League Two, for the moment. They’re winning it, would be promoted if they finish #1.

Alloa are struggling in the second division Championship league, having just been promoted themselves. Still, Noob would easily favor the visitors to win by a goal or two here on the road.

RESULT:   Edinburgh City   2-2  /  4-3   pk            Upset City!   E.C. climbs back from an 0-2 whole to take it in penalty kicks.

Image result for edinburgh city fc 2018

9. Tolima vs. Santa Fe – Colombia Premier

The top eight make the Clausura (second half-season) here. This is the second leg of a quarterfinal two-legged tie between the #1 and #8 seeds. Tolima won the first match 2-1. Even on the road, Santa Fe still shouldn’t be counted out though. Statistically, these teams aren’t that far apart.

Colombia determines its entrants into Copa Libertadores by aggregate table, combining the Apertura and Clausura regular season records. That takes a tiny bit of the shine off things for these Playoffs, but but not much.

RESULT:   Santa Fe   0-1        But it’s Tolima who advance, 4-3 on penalty kicks

10. Hassania Agadir vs. Raja Casablanca – Morocco Botola Pro

We finish out Track in one of Africa’s best leagues. The most recent rankings as this sixth-best on the content, and their on pace to climb as high as #B by 2020.

This match features the current league leader against #10. Wait, 10? Yep. International Break means slimmer pickings, but this is an important match there, too. Raja Casablanca have only played half as many matches as many clubs there because of having been playing in the Champions League. They’ve not lost any of their four matches and are statistically the best team.

Agadir can really defend, are likely to be near the table’s top all season long, competing for one of the two CL berths for next year. But R.C. defend just as well and score a lot more.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for agadir funny

 

 

So long from Agadir!

 

not trick photography

goats climb Argan trees for the fruit in Agadir.

’10 to Track’ Sunday (11/11) soccer matches – MLS playoffs lead the way

Don’t forget to check back on any Track’s matches later for results!

Also, the newest of Noobites may always check the Vocab page to the right on the main page.

  1. New York Red Bulls vs. Columbus Crew – Major League Soccer

After leading the field most of the regular season, Atlanta United slipped late and lost the Supporters Shield to NYRB.  That means Red Bulls had the most points in the standings of any team in the league.  And in most leagues in the world, that club would be the champions for the season.

But in Amuricuh, we do Playoffs!  They’ve reached the Conference Semifinals, the second round.  Here (and next round), the opponents face off in two-legged, home and away ties.  The East’s #5 seed, Columbus, won their home match 1-0.

Red Bulls scored nearly half again as much than the Crew throughout the season.  It’s hard to imagine them being held done a second match in a row, especially in the Big Apple.

New York’s last seven goals have all been scored by different players.  Noob thinks early-season leader Brandon Wright-Phillips will reemerge.  But all the momentum belongs to the visitors.  Columbus haven’t lost to Red Bulls in their last four matches.   (7:30 PM EST, FS1)

RESULT:   NYRB   3-0      On to the Conference Finals for Red Bulls!   Daniel Royer with two goals and an assist.

B.  Manchester City vs. Manchester United – English Premier League

Derby time!

After a dreadful start to the season, Man Utd are perhaps finally snapping out of their funk.  They’ve climbed into 8th place, won three matches in a row across all competitions, including a massive Champions League victory over Juventus.  All have been 2-1 or 1-2 wins.

Meanwhile, Man City just jeeps trucking along, undefeated in league.   Over the course of their six-match win streak, they’ve outscored opponents by a staggering 23-1 margin.  It’s hard to believe they only lead the next three clubs by two points each in the table.   (11:30 AM, NBCSN)

RESULT:   Man City   3-1       Bernado Silva with a goal and an assist

Image result for alphabet race

 

 

 

Now THAT’S a derby.

Number B, victor!

  1. Santos vs. CF America – Liga MX

With two matches to go in the Apertura (first half-season), these two have already guaranteed themselves top half-finishes.  That means they’ll play in the Liguilla (postseason tournament) no matter what.

But seeding matters a lot.  They trail #1 Cruz Azul by five and four points in the table, respectively.  In all likelihood, they’re fighting for the runners-up position.

CF America’s defense is the tale today.  They’ve ratcheted that up a notch their last three matches, allowing just one goal over that span.  They’re a regular league powerhouse.  Noob thinks they get the road upset today and will win the Liguilla no matter what seed they go in with.   (7:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   1-1

  1. AC Milan vs. Juventus – Serie A

Remember that Champions League loss Juventus took to Manchester City?  Well, no one’s managed that in Serie A all season.  They’re second-best in Italy on both sides of the ball, three points up on Napoli, and likely to win on the road today.

Milan are tied for 5th and just don’t have the backline to withstand Cristiano Ronaldo & Co.   (2:30 PM, Rai Italia)

RESULT:   Juve   0-2

Image result for cristiano ronaldo funny

 

 

Artist thought Ronaldo had taken one too many headers.

  1. Sevilla vs. Espanyol – La Liga

Espanyol are the city of Barcelona’s “other team”.  Barcelona-the club are still #1 in the league, but their little sisters are on the rise!

Last year they finished just 11th, but now they sit in 3rd place.  Their success comes on defense, though they’re not completely deficient when it comes of scoring.  That’s where they look a little stronger this year.

Sevilla are just one notch back in the table.  They’re high-end scoring comes at the expense of giving up too many goals to perhaps compete with Barcelona for the title.  At home, however, they’re not likely to have trouble with upstarts Espanyol.  It’s a bad matchup for today’s guests.   (12:30 PM, beIN Sports en Español)

RESULT:   Sevilla   2-1      Ever Banega with two assits

  1. Vicarstown vs. Crovan’s Gate – Isle of Sodor Premier

Crovan’s Gate made the Semifinals of the first-ever IoS FA Cup this summer.  As the three Divisions were being planned for this inaugural PL season, The Gate were slated for the second tier.  More, it was thought they wouldn’t even be in the top half of clubs there!  But play on the Isle, historically, has been loosely organized at best.

The new FA knew it might be tough to really gauge relative club strengths, regardless of town or village sizes.  To their credit, they decided to place all the Quarterfinalists in Premier level to start out.

In typical Sudric fashion, neither team plays a ton of D.    Bigger Vicarstown comes in the favorites today.   But there’s a reason British betting houses haven’t started offering lines on Sodor matches.  There’s just no league history and performance for them (or us) to go off of.

RESULT:   4-4        

 

  1. Arsenal vs. Moulien – Guadeloupe Division d’Honneur

Noob’s quest to get to know all our CONCACAF neighbors a little better rolls on!  The “other Arsenal” are #1, Moulien #B.  Amical Club are just behind them and all three are undefeated after six league matches.   It’s too early to know much, but worth pointing out that Arsenal have only beaten Moulien once in their last six matches.

The top two finishers will qualify for the Caribbean Club Championships.  That, in turn, is a qualifying event for CONCACAF Champions League.

  1. Nacional vs. Peñarol – Uruguay Premier

The Final!

Uruguay’s season is divided into two main stages, just like much of Latin America.  These two each won one of those.  They won 26 matches each, with Peñarol scoring all of one more point on the whole year.  Both teams call Montevideo home.  This is where today’s one off Final is being played, though not on either club’s home pitch.

The second half of the year, Peñarol started to really flex, becoming the best team on both sides of the ball.  No reason to think that won’t make them the favorite on a neutral grounds.   (2:30 PM, GOL TV)

RESULT:   Peñarol   1-2        Congrats to the national champs!    Cristiano Rodriguez with the go-ahead goal via penalty in AET.

Image result for so many letter U

 

 

 

Sooo many U’s…

  1. NK Lokomotiva vs. Dinamo Zagreb – Croatia First Division

Statistically, the teams look nearly identical.  but it’s Zagreb who are still undefeated with close to half the season in the books.

It’s not exactly must-win for Lokomotiva, but if they drop this home match, they’re then eight behind Zagreb.  That’s a lot for any team to make up in a half season in any league.  Either team can score in bunches, but defense is where both really set themselves apart.

Croatia’s top flight is ranked #16 by UEFA.  Were they just one spot higher, the league would qualify two teams into the Champions league.  As is, just one.

RESULT:   Dinamo   0-1

  1. Suduva vs. Zalgiris Vilnius – Lithuania A Lyga

We finish our Track much farther down the European league rankings.  But it’s still a #1-#B matchup, no matter the Lyga is just #41 in UEFA.

There is no competition there for these two.  Suduva lead everyone’s favorite Superman movie villain-sounding club by five points in the table with the season winding down.  The next best team is two dozen points farther back.

Unlike Croatia’s best, these two are much more offensively-minded.  Both average more than two goals per game, so a shootout looks to be in store.

RESULT:   Z.V.   1-2          Domantas Simkus with the game-winner at 90′

 

 

So long from Marijampole, home of club Suduva!

 

The Millennia Monument

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday (11/2) – USL playoffs, LigaMX, then we’re off to see the world

The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game.

On Friday’s, schedules run a little lighter.  Noob takes the opportunity to hit up the best local games, and then it’s off to soccer hinterlands less-known!

Come, jet-set with Noob.  The bags of peanuts in-flight are HYOOJ.

  1. Louisville FC vs. New York Red Bulls II – United Soccer League playoffs

Time for the Eastern Conference Final!  Defending champions Louisville host the Red Bull reserve teams.  They finished the regular season #2 and #5, respectively.

Louisville’s been clicking on both sides of both for weeks so, to the tune of nine straight wins.  The defense has been quite good, the offense – phenomenal.

NRYB Jr. have won five straight.    They’ve been comparable on defense, if not quite as dominant on offense.

It’s an interesting twist.   Through most of the regular season, they were both scoring like gangbusters, but with NYRB doing so very much at the expense of defense.  Now Red Bulls have switched their habits around.

No matter which style NY2 play, LFC are the clear fave.  Winner gets either Orange County or Phoenix for the title.   (7:30 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:    L’ville  5-1       Devon Williams with two goals in two minutes

Image result for letter B tiger

 

 

 

Looks like we know which club Number B is rooting for.  Awwwww!

B.  Morelia vs. UANL Tigres – Liga MX

Three matches to go in the Apertura (first half-season).  And since each of the two half-seasons are only 17 matches long, it means things in the table are tight.  Top eight make the Liguilla (postseason tournament).

Morelia’s in 7th, but their numbers don’t make them look like a Playoff team.  The offense is borderline, but the defense is bottom quartile-caliber.  Still, they’re trending the right way.  After not winning a match for more than a month straight, they’re now winners of three in a row.  Those three were against bottom-half teams, but it’s still something.

Tigres are #8.  Two teams trail them by just a point.   They’ve not won in their last four, the defense having completely fallen apart (11 goals allowed).

9th-place Pachuca is going to pass at least one of these two.  So if one of these two loses today, Noob considers it an elimination match of sorts.   (9:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

  1. Paris Saint-Germain vs. Lille – France Ligue 1

Hard to believe PSG is looking like they might get eliminated from the current Champions League at the group stage.   They’re not having any trouble in their domestic league.   11-0-0, eight points up on #B Lille in the table already.

Lille sport an above average offense and defense.    No reason to think they’ll have any trouble finishing in the top three and qualify for the 2019-20 Champions League.  They just won’t look like it today.   PSG 3-1 today.

RESULT:   PSG   2-1     Mbappe with a goal and an assist

  1. Al Ahly vs. Esperance – CAF Champions League

The Final!    Two matches, home and away, for the club title in Africa.

Al Ahly are the #1 team in all Africa.  It doesn’t even seem to be particularly close.   Noob’s Elo ratings-source footballdatabase.com indicated it.  So does my newer one for Elo-ish numbers – soccerverse.com.  (The former has been down for long enough recently that I’m worried it’s gone for good.)

They’re well down the table in their domestic league so far this year, but that’s mostly by virtue of having played far fewer matches than most teams there.  The international play leads to a lot of postponements for them.   Extrapolate their basic stats out and they’re easily performing like a top-four club.

They host what may well be the #2 club on the continent.  This looks like an awful matchup for the Tunisians.  They’re struggling on defense in their league, and Ahly is just relentless on offense.   Ahly by two on their own pitch today.

RESULT:   Ahly   3-1           Walid Soliman scored twice on penalties in a match that also featured a third penalty score

Image result for math is dumb

 

Mathing.

 

I know, right?

  1. El Entag El Harby vs. Smouha – Egyptian Premier

You know, as long as we’re here!

Top two finishers qualify for the next Champions League.  Right now, these two are #B and #3, respectively.  ENEH have played a game or two more than the teams around them in the table.  They’re not going to stay this high in all likelihood.   They don’t score enough, plain and simple.

Smouha, however, look to have the firepower to at least flirt with a top-two finish.  They will be hard-pressed to catch #1 El Zamalek (best O and D in the country) or hold of Al Ahly.  But so far, Smouha looks very balanced and sound.

RESULT:   2-2        Smouha blows an 0-2 halftime lead

  1. URA vs. Nyamityobora – Uganda Premier

Uganda’s top flite Is a league on the move.  They just cracked the CAF rankings for the first time recently, appearing at #18.   They’d have to move up a few more notches to qualify two teams to Champions League, but it’s a start.

It’s too early to perhaps say much, fewer than a half dozen matches into the season.  but #5 URA appear to be a Small Ball team – pack it in on defense, don’t try to even score much themselves.

Noob believes The Nyamity-ville Horror-obora just got Promoted to top tier this year.  Judging by their utter lack of defense, they’ll be headed right back down.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for that was horrible gifWhat, the play on words there?

Quiet, Adam Scott!   Don’t you have a “Krampus” sequel to go shoot?

  1. 1 de Agosto vs. Hulia – Angola Girabola

Congrats to Angola’s domestic top league!   Big jump coming in the 2019-20 rankings – #17 all the way to #9.

1dA didn’t need the league to have an extra berth into Champions League last season like it will get soon.  They only lost one match all last season.   How?  By only giving up eight goals in 28 matches.   Stifling.

Hulia finished 6th, as perfectly average as they could be, statistically.

RESULT:         is now slated for Sun., 11/4

That African stint can be so draining.  Let’s take a break for the third-ever installment of —

Noob’s Sandwich Reviewoobs!

@MLS on Twitter asked the important, obvious question.  Essentially, is a hot dog, in fact, a sandwich?

Among most noble apes, a sandwich is defined as any meat or other filling between two SLICES of bread.  Buns are NOT slices, or Noob’s name is John Montagu.

To be fair, one can find definitions and contexts where any pieces of bread – sliced or otherwise – are called “sandwich”.  I’m not here to argue against that.

Because it’s already been establish in Amuricuhn court of LAW.

In 2006, A Worcester, MS judge ruled against Panera in a heated case regarding a non-compete clause in a mall food court.  The judge allowed the mall could rent to Qdoba, that tacos and burritos were NOT sandwiches.  His or Her Honor formally told Panera, “Sit on it, Potsy” in the ruling and summary.

What’s fun is that most of that is true.

So — is a hot dog a sandwich?  No.  Heretical.  Illegal!

@MLS, thanks for the picture of the cute kid.  But Noob rates your sandwich question  at a mere two and a half out of five sandwiches on the Noob Sandwich Reviewoob sandwich rating scale.

  1. Ballymena United vs. Glenavon – Northern Ireland Football League Premiership

Next, we jet-set to Europe.  This is one of Europe’s very weakest domestic leagues.  In fact, it’s only semi-professional.  But hey — they’re playing!

They get just the one berth into Champions League.  Glenavon are #1 now, but they only lead Linfield by a point.  They lead the league in scoring, and trail just Linfield in defensive prowess (albeit by a lot).

#3 Ballymena are nicely balanced, but are ten points behind their league-leading hosts.  At least they’re in a position to perhaps get one of the league’s two automatic invites to Europa League.

RESULT:   Bally   2-1

Image result for flying first class funny

 

 

Mr. Bean always flies first class for NIFL Premiership.

  1. Kukesi vs. Flamutari – Albania Superliga

Our second and final stop on our European league takes us to the #34 league in UEFA.  Below average, but a damn sight higher than Northern Ireland.  Wheeeeeeee!

These are the #3 and #5 clubs there currently.  Kukesi are only four points in back of league leaders Skenderbau Korce, but that team’s been the power there for forever.  Even recently getting a 10-year ban from FIFA over match-fixing hasn’t seemingly slowed that bunch much.

If recent history holds, Kukesi won’t catch the Banned Ones or #B Tirana.  Flamutari are far less likely.   When the defense gets down to league average, those clubs won’t be able to stop the perennial title contenders.

RESULT:   Flamutari   1-2

  1. Melbourne City vs. Sydney FC – Australia A-League

The league season is just getting (Down) underway in OZ.  Yet already a big trophy has been awarded.   League defending champs Sydney FC just lost in the FFA Cup final to Adelaide.

Melbourne City finished #3 last year, a nice push for a team that’s historically only average there.  They were either lucky or tough or both, too, as they didn’t score a lot compared to their peers.

RESULT:   Sydney   0-3     Paulo Retre with a goal an an assist

Image result for Melbourne australia funny

 

 

So long from Melbourne!  

Apparently so violent, their club may soon get a Copa Libertadores invitation.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches – MLS and USL playoff hunts lead the way

it’s International Break for much of the league world.  That means we get MORE America and extra CONCACAF-feination in today’s Track!

Today’s Track may not be up much in advance, but I’m now Nine-Fingered Noob.  Went all Gollum on my own left ring finger at work last night.  OK, not really, did just slice off the tiniest bit.  Typing’s been hard.  Almost left all the inadvertent caps-lock stuff in just for fun.

  1. D.C. United vs. FC Dallas – Major League Soccer

With three regular season matches to go, #1 Dallas lead KC and LAFC by four points in the Western Conference.   Kansas City is and has been the better team on paper all season.   But they’re getting draws late, whole Dallas hasn’t lost in about six weeks.   In fact, only one team has even managed to get a goal on them in the last four matches.

Wayne Rooney & Co. are now only two points out of 6th place and the East’s final playoff berth.  They, too, haven’t lost in six weeks.  They’re success has been realized on the offensive end.  But it troubles Noob that they haven’t kept a single clean sheet in that entire stretch.

Defense travels, so I’m saying Dallas gets the road win in what is likely considered an even matchup in the District.  As badly as MLS likely wants DCU in the playoffs, today is when they’re comeback dreams die.   (4:55 PM EST, Univision)

RESULT:   D.C.   1-0

B.  Netherlands vs. Germany – UEFA Nations League

This is a League A match.  There are four separate Groups of three in League A.  In each one, the teams play four matches, double-round-robins.

France leads this one with four points after two matches.  This is the second match for these two today.  If they draw, France ends up in the driver’s seat.  Only the winner of each Group makes the Playoffs.

Since League A is pretty much the dozen best clubs on the continent, they’re all likely making the 2020 European Championships anyway.  But this event is another avenue towards qualifying for that.  In the world, they’re ranked #17 and 12.   In the Netherlands, this should be a toss-up.   (2:45 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Netherlands   3-0      

Image result for font invented in 2018

 

A new tournament deserves a new-look Number B!

(Braille typeface front)

  1. Ireland vs. Denmark – UEFA Nations League

These two are part of League B.  Mirror image of A, just the next dozen down the rankings in Europe.

Denmark are actually 10th ranked in the world today.  UEFA rankings were used from a specific date, so the Danes must’ve been more down on their luck.  If the win this Group, they get promoted for League A when this event happens again, presumably, in two years.  And they’ll win it.

Ireland are FIFA-ranked just 30th.  They lost badly to Wales in their first match in this tournament.  Eire should be considered at least a full-goal underdog today.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Reno 1868 vs. Orange County – United Soccer League

Usually Noob gives the American second division it’s due other times of week.  But so much of the world is on International Break, we have room.  With the Playoffs nearly here, perfect timing!   Teams have just this last regular season match to go.

Top eight finishers in each Conference make the Playoffs.  OC all but has the #1 seed wrapped up, home field advantage galore.  They’d have to lose today and Phoenix would have to win their last game by five goals for another tiebreaker to even come into play between them.

Reno have more on the line.  They’re #5 in the West.  They’re only a point behind Real Salt Lake, so they could still end up with the four-seed and a home game to start the postseason.  In fact, it wouldn’t necessarily even require a win.  A tie and an RSL loss-combo would do the trick.

RESULT:   Reno   3-1

Image result for reno 1868 supportersSo Noob’s jumping on the Reno bandwagon today!

Anything to go against stupidly-named Real Salt Lake.

  1. Ottawa Fury vs. Charleston Battery – United Soccer League

Charleston can’t lose or move up from the four-seed in the East.  Noob suspect they’ll rest starters given that.

Ottawa has been gritty and gutty all year – not truly good though.  They’re in 9th place, two points and a ton of tiebreaking GD behind Bethlehem for the last Playoff berth.  They should be able to net a win against the Battery reserves.  Unfortunately for them, Bethlehem hosts the hapless Tampa Bay Rowdies.  And the Steel will be motivated.  They could jump as many as three spots in the standings with a win.

RESULT:   Charleston   0-2

  1. Puerto Rico vs. Martinique – CONCACAF Nations League qualification

You can catch a few particulars in yesterday’s and previous posts.

This match is the first of four for these two teams.  Martinique aren’t members of FIFA, being part of the French football system.  But they’re in our region’s federation and they’re pretty good, considered 12th-best among national team here.

PR are just #175 in the world, well in the bottom half of CONCACAF.

RESULT:   Martinique   0-1

Image result for Puerto Rico national football team 2018

 

 

And since Puerto Ricans are Americans, Noob gives them the “gofightwin” cheer.

  1. Vorkuta vs. SC Scarborough – Canadiaian Soccer League

Welcome to the Track, CSL!   Don’t be fooled by the name though.  This league is really mostly or entirely Ontario-based teams.  Starting next year – unless it is pushed back again – the Canadian Premier League begins.   These teams won’t be a part of it, not unless they’re changing names and Noob’s missed it.

In any case, this is the playoff final for the current top league in Canadia!  It’s at a neutral stadium in Ontario, though since all the teams are from greater Ontario  *shrug*  They finished #B and #4 in the regular season, respectively.  The league was kind of top heavy.  Scarborough will do well to keep this within a goal.

RESULT:   Vorkuta   1-0

  1. Vorkuta II vs. Halton United II – Canadiaian Soccer League Division II

And here’s the undercard!   Also the playoff championship.  Same stadium, just two hours before the D1 championship.   These were the top two in the division regular season.  This match should be a little more competitive, but once again is Vorkuta who are moderately heavy favorites.

RESULT:   V II   3-2           chamPEENS!

Image result for so much canada

 

 

 

Just how much Canadia can you handle at once?

  1. DR Congo vs. Zimbabwe – Africa Cup of Nations qualification

Once again, Noobites can look at yesterday’s or past posts for some specifics on this event.

These two are both tied for the lead in their four-team Group (top two finishers make the Knockout Stage.  Congo (not DR) are tied with them, but have played one more match than these two so far.   They are ranked #40 one of Africa’s best – and #117 by FIFA.  So naturally, DRC are expected to lay waste to their guests.

RESULT:   Zimbabwe   1-2        Upset city!

  1. Central Cordoba de Santiago vs. Gimnasia LP – Copa Argentina

FA Cups are all about looking for Minnows – non-premier league underdogs.  And here in the quarterfinals we get one to root for.  Cordoba were relegated to the second division last year.  In fact, they’re below average even there early this league season.

Gimnasia are just a midtable team.  But they’re top -flite, should be considered a 1-2 goal fave on the road in this one-off match.  The winner will face River Plate in the Semis – an historically excellent team, but one that’s been more midtable themselves of late.   (2:00 PM, TyC Sports International)

RESULT:   Gimnasia   1-1  /  3-4  PK

Image result for santiago del estero funny

 

 

So long from Santiago del Estero!

Noob’s terrified to translate the parts he doesn’t know.  Blessedly rusty Spanish for meeeee.

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday soccer matches – Liga MX, Bundesliga, then off to see the world!

With the weekend imminent, league schedules run a little lighter on Fridays.  These are no Soccer Sabbaths though!

We find what league and Cup matches close to home are best, move on to Europe, South American, and then goodness knows where.  Usually, that’s anywhere in the world, far and wide!   Today, Noob keeps most of the focus on Europe.  We’ll be checking out some hot D2 action.

Matches with clubs you won’t see everywhere online, plus Fun Facts about them, their leagues and locales.  Takeoff time is now.  The stewardess is closing the first-class curtain.  Noobites are on the champagne side of it.

  1. Atlas vs. Toluca – Liga MX

Two Mexican top-tier matches today, and three of the involved teams are from the very bottom of the table.  Atlas are lowest of all, having yet to win a match this Apertura (first half-season).  That’ll happen when you’ve only managed to score once in all ten matches.

Toluca are the one good team in action there today, sitting pretty in 3rd place.  That makes this match a “Hiccup Watch”.   Even on the road, Toluca should cruise.  But will they rest usual starters?  Might they just prepare for this match as hard?  Hiccup.   (10:00 PM EST, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Atlas   2-0     The nightmare is over!

B.  Hertha Berlin vs. Bayern Munich – Bundesliga

Bayern just dropped their first points of the season to bottom-half Augsburg.  For the rawest of Noobites, that means it’s the first match they didn’t win.  They’ll win most of them.  They had several stars not play, gave up the equalizing goal at 87’.

Hertha Berlin are the more interesting story.  Part of it, anyway.   Once you get past the top two in the table, there’s a host of teams just behind that were nowhere close last season.  Top four will make Champions League, and a couple clubs not used to such rarefied airs may well make it!

As for today’s match, Noob thinks HB are good for a draw, especially if Bayern are resting players or dealing with injuries already.   (2:30 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   Hertha Berlin   2-0        A sloppy, overly-aggressive match from Bayern seems HB pull into a 1st-place tie with them

Image result for letter B in the sky

 

 

I don’t mean to nitpick, Number B.

But it’s not “rarefied air” if you’re in outer space.

  1. Sheffield Wednesday vs. Leeds United – English Championship

England’s top league, noob as read, has been or is ranked as high as #13 in all Europe.  Add in the massive amounts money teams get for getting Promoted from here to Premier and it’s interesting two ways.

Looking to make that jump are current #1 Leeds.  They were deficient last year on defense in particular, but have made massive strikes, allowing fewer than a goal per game average.  Sheffield are in 10th, and so just average.  Noob counts them as a goal-underdog at home.

Fun Fact:   In the early 20th C., a player presented Sheffield Wednesday  with a monkey to be used as a mascot.   The idea did not catch on.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Dundalk vs. UCD – FAI Cup (Ireland)

It’s a battle of league #1’s in this one-off Semifinal!   Dundalk lead the Premier while University College Dublin are tops in the First League.  They’re different league for a reason, no matter how strong the U. has been playing.  Dundalk by a pair.

Winners get the defending league and Cup champs Cork City, unless Bohemians defeat them.   Unlikely, but it’s a road match for the current trophy-keepers.

RESULT:   Dundalk   1-0

 

 

The town of Dundalk is closely tied to the mythological hero Cu Chulainn.

In story, he earned that name over his birthname after taking the place of a guardian dog he killed in self-defense.

  1. Viktoria Plzen vs. Sparta Prague – Czech First League

The Republic’s top league was getting close to a high enough UEFA ranking that they could’ve soon seen two clubs get Champions League invites.  Alas for them, they’re slipping from 13th to 17th in the rankings for 2019.

Still, this is a classic matchup for the country.  Sparta are undefeated, yet just #B in the table.  Viktoria Plzen are #3.  The latter’s goal differential looks a bit peakish, leading Noob to wonder if this league will be a two-horse race.  Already, Noob thinks they’re just an even match on their own pitch today.

Fun Fact:  Plzen’s best European finish was in 2013-14 when the qualified for Champions League and finished 3rd in the Group Stage.  After then getting dropped down to Europa League, they made the Round of 16.

RESULT:   Plzen   1-0

  1. Lens vs. Paris FC – France Ligue 2

Top two will be automatically Promoted to Ligue 1 at season’s end.  Next three will duke it out in a Playoff for one more to join them.  That’s where we find these two – #3 and #5.

Lens have made massive strides on defense since 2017-18 when they finished in the bottom half of the league.  Paris look about like they did last year, statistically anyway.  If that holds, they’ll be good, but not enough so to stay in the Promotion chase.

RESULT:   0-0

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Lens fans will raise their scarves and sing sang et or – “blood and gold” – after the club colors.

  1. NEC Nijmegen vs. Go Ahead Eagles – Netherlands Eerste Divisie

The Netherland’s top league is poised to nearly crack the top ten in Europe.  This is the Dutch second division.

NEC finished 3rd in the regular season last year before losing in a Promotion Playoff.  They’re defense is really suspect this season though.  And #1 GHE may be the club that can expose them.  Top-notch goal-scoring.

Fun Fact:  NEC was founded by its towns workers, lowest socioeconomic class.  This was very rare, as Dutch football was a very elitist sport at the turn of the 20th C.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. BW Linz vs. FC Leifering – Austria 2. Liga

Teams here are vying to move up to the Austrian Bundesliga, rated the #11 league in UEFA.   Only the top one gets to make that move though.

Linz is #1 and one of just two realistic-looking candidates.  Leifering are #3, but haven’t yet shown the firepower probably necessary to vie for the league title.

RESULT:   BWL   2-1

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The “Linzer torte” was thought for a long time to be the oldest recipe cake in the world.

  1. Sektzia Nes Tziona vs. Hapoel Katamon Jerusalem – Israel  Liga Leumit

Israel’s Premier is on the decline, will be down several notches to #25 next year.  But hey, that’s still above average!  SNT are #3, HKJ #B.

All the clubs in the top 2/3 of the league appear to play about the same defensively.  These two are among three that can score at a fair clip on top of that.

The top two finishers will get Promoted to Premier.  Before that happens, the going will get tougher for clubs like these, as the league divided into Championship and Relegation subdivisions.

Fun Fact:   The town of Ness Ziona was first known as “Wadi Channin”.

RESULT:    HJK   1-3

  1. Al-Wehdat vs. Al-Faisaly – Jordan Premier

At last, we head into Noob-uncharted waters!   Jordan’s top league – which you might just see as “The Jordan League” elsewhere soemtimes– is ranked 16th in Asia.  That’s about the 1/3 mark.  Just the winner will get into this federation’s Champions League.

Wehdat are the defending league champions.  No one could keep up with them on offense last year.   Or on defense.  But the difference was greater with the former.  Faisaly finished 3rd.  on the strength of their defense.

RESULT:   0-0

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Also known as Amman Refugee Camp, Al-Wehdat is a Palestinian refugee area.