Tag: 2. Bundesliga

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Relegation Monday (8/13) – getting to know teams facing The Drop

Noob has you Monday blahs-cure.  Embrace the darkness!

Nearly all today’s featured matches involve teams on the verge of being Relegated from their current league.  Let’s get to know them before they fade into the mist.

Remember you can check back for Results on Noob’s Tracks, too.

Oh, and please consider following Noob on Twitter:  @SoccerNoobUSA

Now, two matches of non-sadness!

  1. USC Landhaus Vienna vs. BIIK Kazygurt – UEFA women’s Champions League

The “Qualifying Round” is a Group affair.  40 clubs are divided into pods of four each.  Each group plays a single round robin, out of which the winners and two best-performing runners-up advance to the Knockout Stage.

There are ton of matches today.  Noob’s learning curve on the women’s side of the game has been even more difficult than for the men’s, so I can’t tell you much about the clubs.  Noob does recognize Kazygurt – a Kazakh club – from last year’s event as one that performed very well.  They are 2-0-0 so far in this event, have qualified to advance already.

Landhaus qualified by finishing #B in Austria’s top flite, the Frauenliga.  They are 1-0-1, 3rd place in the Group.  They’re tied in points in the table with a Greek Club, but down a couple on goal-differential.  This Group’s matches are all in Latvia.

RESULT:   Kazygurt   0-2

B.  Al Ahly vs. Al Nejmeh – Arab Club Champions Cup

This is a stand-alone event, meaning it doesn’t play a direct role in qualification to other international events.  It’s run annually, this being its 28th season.  Currently, clubs from 20 Arab nations participate.  Half are from Asia, half from Africa.

After to very short qualification rounds, they are down to 32 clubs.  This First Round, each pair of teams are playing two-legged ties.

Al Nejmeh is a Lebanese team which finished 3rd in their last complete league season.  They had to play in the second of the qualification rounds.   Now they will get smushed by Africa’s best club.  Noob thinks this will be a rout, Al Ahly by 3+ goals.

So this individual match by itself isn’t so much “important” to us, but Noob thinks it’s important and fun to knows the event is happening at all.  I’d never heard of it before.

بَاء‎     Fun Fact:  That’s pronounced like a Number B in Arabic.  Or maybe more like ‘B + long A sound’.  Noob is noob on many topics.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. 1. FC Cologne vs. Union Berlin – 2. Bundesliga

Noob starts us of on our Relegation tour today in a different way than before.   This league is just starting, so no team is in any kind of danger yet.  Rather, FC Cologne were demoted after a miserable season in the top league last year.

On paper, Noob would make Union Berlin a full-goal underdog today.  But it’s so hard to know if a team like Cologne is in position and spending money to try and climb right back up, or cutting costs and willing to leave with any sort of finish this season.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for 1. FC koln funny

 

 

Disturbing Fact:  If that logo was a movie scene, it might not make the rated-R cut…

  1. Norrkoping vs. Hammarby – Sweden Allsvenskanliga

Now we jump into league matches, though this first is not a Drop Zone match.  These two are #4 and #B in UEFA’s 22nd-ranked league.  Hey, they’re playing.

Norrkoping is eight points out of 1st and the league’s only Champions League invitation.  They’re not playing like they’re going make a push the last couple matches.  Meanwhile. Hammarby trail AIK by just two, and have played one less match than them.   They’ve also won three straight.  The teams play about the same defense, but Hammarby have the offense to pull off an important road win today.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Trellesborg vs. Sundsvall – Sweden Allsvenkanliga

And now, the Swedish sadness!  Noob saved you a box of tissues after being here last week, Trellesborg.

The bottom two from this league will get automatically Dropped.  Trellesborg are in second-to-last, four points from daylight, which even still might only mean having to play in a Relegation Playoff match with a second division team for the right to stay up.  Noob thinks they’re a goal underdog to their midtable guests today.

RESULT:   Sundsvall   1-6

Image result for Kofi Sarkodie San JoseFun Fact:  Trellesborg have an American  defender on their roster — Kofi Sarkodie.  Prior to this year, he most recently played for MLS’ San Jose Earthquakes.

  1. Union Comercio vs. Melgar – Peru Premier

Here’s an intriguing matchup.  Peru’s Premier plays three separate seasons per year.  The worst two from the aggregate of all three will get The Boot.

Here near the end second season, they’re actually 10th of 18 clubs.  But they were far and away the worst club during the first season, and still sit in last place in that aggregate table.  At home today, Noob thinks they’re in even match against Melgar.  They still can’t score, but at least now they’re preventing the other teams from doing so at will.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. 3 de Febrero vs. Cerro Porteño – Paraguay Premier

3dF fans know they’re rooting for a second-tier club.  They were just promoted this season and they’re going right back down– deep in last place in the year’s aggregate table.  C.P. finished #B in the recently-concluded Apertura, so this could be ugly today.

RESULT:   CP   1-3

Image result for don johnson miami vice Ciudad del Este

 

 

3dF’s home of Ciudad del Este was a filming location for “Miami Vice”.

  1. Merreikh Nyala vs. Kober – Sudan Premier

Sudan’s is the 7th-ranked league in Africa, though no thanks to these two sad sacks.

Late in the season, this one breaks up into Championship and Relegation divisions.  Nyala was midtable, but now are dead last in that second subdivision.  Kober was a midtable team as well, but they have been playing well enough to stay above the Cut Line.  A whopping four teams will get moved down after everything is done.

RESULT:   Kober   0-1

Image result for kofi annan

 

Not Exactly FUN Fact:   In Nyala, former U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan cofounded The Amel Center — a place of rehab and treatment for torture victims.

(How about that, two Kofi’s in one Track!)

 

  1. PSIS vs. Bhayangkara – Indonesia Liga 1

Liga 1 here is 27th-ranked in Asia, putting it a little below average.

PSIS are nowhere near average, sitting in second-to-last.  They’re three points from daylight, but have to leapfrog two teams, as three will be sent down.  They’re defense looks average on paper, but it’s really due to they just don’t try playing much offense.  Their guests today are midtable folk.

Fun Fact:   PSIS are based in Semarang, the capital of the province of Central Java.

RESULT:   Bhyangkara   1-2

  1. Jonkopings Sodra vs. Varnamo – Sweden Superettan

More Sweden?   Understandable.  Noob misses the technical support and stylings for Dan the former Intern-o Inferno, too.  Hopefully once he settles into his new entry-level role at his dream organization – the SvFF, Sweden’s women’s professional soccer org – he’ll check in with us.  Buuhhhhht Noob thinks he might really be a spy, so maybe not.  Time will tell.

This is Sweden’s second division, from which to will get run out.  Last-place Varnamo must be Swedish for “make the football sad”.  Then again, Noob studied Spanish on and off throughout his school and university years.  Me gusta juveos muchos en mis pantalones.  Amirite or amirite?  J.S. are meh.

RESULT:   Varnamo   1-3      It’s a Relegation Monday Miracle!

Image result for apladalen värnamo

 

 

So long from Noob and fictional lovers Per and Kersti, at the Apladalen in Varnamo!

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday soccer matches – from the US of A to sporting hinterlands the world over!

Fridays tend to run a little light for soccer scheduling the world over, so this our opportunity to explore the footyball world!  As always, Noob starts off at and close to home.  Then, we check our bags tarmac-side and jetset off to locations the world over!   Let’s expand our horizons, Noobites.

  1. Ottawa Fury vs. Tampa Bay Rowdies – United Soccer League

Major League Soccer isn’t back post-All-Star break until tomorrow, so today we have just a pair of division two matches in the homeland.  This one is a bit heavier in playoff implications.

The top eight in each conference will make the postseason.  These two are tied for 9th and tied for 11th, respectively.  Noob’s particularly intrigued for two reasons:  1) Based on goal differential, these two ought to be switched places in the table.  B)  They’re two of the clubs from North American Soccer League.  The one-time co-second division league cancelled it’s 2018 season after not getting DII sanctioning from USSF, and currently is targeting a 2020 return to action.

Fun Fact:   When their current stadium was behind in completion, Ottawa competed at Carleton College.

RESULT:   Ottawa   2-0     The Fury climb into a tie for 7th

B.  Atlas vs. UNAM Pumas – Liga MX

After finishing 8th and making the postseason Liguilla in the 2017-18 Apertura (first half-season), they sunk to 15th and sported the worst defense in the league in the Clausura.

UNAM went completely the other direction, going from last place to 7th by improving their offense a ton.  They’ve won their first to matches of 2018-19, too.   (10:00 PM EST, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Pumas   0-3     Atlas was down to ten men after a red card 20′ in

Image result for letter B fox

 

 

Number B knows Atlas are “The Foxes”.

And that Number Two must go down HARD.

  1. Waterford vs. Cork City – League of Ireland Premier

Eire’s is a two-horse race and has been for some time.  Cork trail Dundalk by just a point in the table as they hit the home stretch of their season.  They can’t afford a slip before playing the league leaders later this month, and this is the most like match where that could happen.

Waterford had a great run the first half of the season, but have fallen back to a distant 3rd.  Two clubs will get Europa League berths, though.  The Irish Blues are in line for one now, but Noob thinks Shamrock Rovers will overtake them.

Fun Fact:  Waterford the crystal-making company makes the NCAA college football trophy.

RESULT:   1-2   Cork     Waterford scores first, but Cork triumphs.  

  1. Reading vs. Derby County – EFL Championship

If these teams are of the same relative strengths as last season, this may not be a “big” match.   But England’s second division league is probably in the top 15 in Europe in strength.  And Derby Co. finished 6th last season, making the Promotion Playoffs.  Meanwhile, reading finished 20th, not far above the Relegation line.

This is the first league match of the season.  Welcome back, British footyball!

RESULT:   Derby Co.   1-2      Derby Co with the winner in the 90′

Image result for huntley and palmers

 

 

Fun Fact:  This company was originally based in Reading, and so the football team were known as “The Biscuit Men”.

 

  1. Hamburger SV vs. Holstein Kiel – 2. Bundesliga

Germany’s second-tier kicks off today as well.  Hamburger was demoted last season from the top league, while H.K. made the Promotion Playoffs before losing at the end and having to stay down.  Holstein led this league in offense last year, scoring over 70 goals.

Fun – Unless You’re an HSV Supporter – Fact:   This marks the first time HSV has played anywhere but the top Bundesliga.  There was rioting and stuff.

RESULT:   Holstein Kiel   0-3

  1. Dynamo Kyiv vs. Shakhtar Donetsk – Ukraine Premier

Last year’s #B and #1 faced off in the domestic Super Cup just days ago.  Kyiv won that glorified friendly, but now things are for real as league plays begins.  A little more offense and Kyiv could’ve perhaps taken the title last year.

Since this – the 8th-ranked league in Europe – gets two Champions League berths, one might think it doesn’t matter which one wins.  It matters.  They want hardware.

RESULT:   Dynamo   1-0

Image result for Spartak Moscow Dinamo Kyiv

 

 

Fun Fact:  During the Soviet era, Dinamo Kyiv (not another Moscow team) was Spartak Moscow’s greatest rival.

  1. Huracan vs. Atletico Tucuman – Copa Argentina

This is a Round of 32 match in Argentina’s knockout-formatted FA tournament.

These two finished last year’s Primera league season #4 and #15.  Their offensive and defensive numbers were very similar, though, so this should be an exquisite matchup.  The winner will get either fellow top-leaguers Newell’s Old Boys or a third division team in the next round.

Stinky Fact:  One of Huracan’s nicknames is “The Burners”, since the current stadium is built on a former garbage-burning site.

RESULT:   Tucuman   0-2

  1. Troyes vs. Brest –France Ligue 2

Back to Europe!  Troyes was kicked out of the French top flite after finishing second-to-last.  Brest finished 5th in this league, getting to play in the Promotion playoff.  The two teams that were Promoted were light years better on offense then everyone else, but Brest excelled to a degree in that regard as well.

RESULT:   Brest   0-2

Image result for lacoste logo

 

 

Fun Fact:   The city of Troyes is home to the Lacoste clothing and fashionwear company.

  1. Floridsdorfer vs. Kapfenberger – Austrian 2. Bundesliga

The other white schnitzel – Austria’s Bundesligas. OK, maybe that doesn’t make sense.  Noob acknowledges it before The Management interrupts to call me out.

This league has been expanded from 10 to 16 teams this season.  As the season begins today, this is the one matchup involving two teams that were both in this league last season.  They finished 8th and 9th.  Floridsdorfer may really have been the worst team in the league, statistically, but no one got Relegated, so oh well!

Fun Fact:   Floridsdorfer is the northernmost district of Vienna.   it is a comparatively rural area, being composed of previously unconnected villages.

RESULT:   Kapfenberger    0-2

  1. Dinamo Tbilisi vs. Rustavi – Georgia Erovnuli Liga

We finish today’s Track in Georgia’s best league, though it ranks just 46 of 55 in UEFA.   It’s what Friday’s are for!

As one might expect, only the winner will get an invitation to Champions League (and just the First Qualifying Round at that).  Dinamo is #B, just five points out of 1st just over halfway through the season.  Saburtalo Tbilisi aren’t any better on GD, so this should be a dandy of a second half race.

RESULT:   Dinamo   1-0

Image result for tbilisi georgia

 

So long from Tbilisi, Georgia! 

The Bridge of Peace connects the old and new city districts.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Sunday (5/13) – led by MLS double-feature!

The ten most important soccer matches for us – the newish American fans of the global game – to follow.   For all the rampant caaamedy, there’s actual football nougat inside this candy bar!   Come, savor it, Noobites.

  1. Orlando City vs. Atlanta United – MLS

The Management and Noob shake our collective fist at you, Orlando City!   Constructing a city on a swamp is the worst idea ever, but footyball facts are undeniable.  The #3 team in the East is en fuego.  They’ve won six consecutive matches, including an impressive 4-3 win over New York Red Bulls.

Can Atlanta rekindle their fire after a road loss to Western #1 Sporting Kansas City?  Probably!  They’re #1 for a reason.

Noobstradamus Sees:   MLS #1-ranked (tied with Tim Howard, COL) Brad Guzan standing on his head today and shutting down The Orlando City Lions Bad Urban Planners.   ATL 0-2.

RESULT:   ATL   1-2.   Any man alive were Orlando fans upset at the end of that one.  Throwing bottles all over the field.  Stay classy, central Florida.

Image result for bad urban planning funny

 

 

 

Orlando, FL Urban Planning Office

B.  LAFC vs. NYCFC – MLS

The Alphabet Soup Derby – could it catch on as a moniker?  Noobites, let’s get this silliness done.  Today, it’s a battle of #B’s, too.  They’re both second place in their respective divisions.

LAFC has been so impressive for a first-year expansion club.  Uruguayan national Diego Rossi is their big goal-scorer to have an eye on.

Noobstradamus Sees:   …that the early season crown of being #1 lay too heavy on the heads of NYCFC.  They’ve lost two of three, including an 0-4 curbstomping by NY Red Bulls.  Momentum.  LAFC 1-0.

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for letter B swarm

 

 

No need to fear Number B’s.

Unless you like Number Two.

Then you shall feel the stinging wrath!

3.  Toluca vs. Tijuana – Liga MX

Tijuana mildly surprised by winning the first leg of this postseason Liguilla semifinal, 2-1.  Going to ten-time champions Toluca’s house today is another matter entirely though.

Noobstradamus Sees:  …the defensive battle I thought the first leg would be.  Toluca 1-0, with a goal just before the half.

RESULT:   Toluca   4-1   They advance!

  1. Newcastle United vs. Chelsea – English Premier

Chelsea really screwed the pooch last match, drawing lowly Hudderfield come to their stadium and achieve a draw.  Now they’re two points behind Liverpool for 4th and the league’s final Champions League berth.  To be fair, they’d been on a five-win tear right before that.

Newcastle seem to have thrown in the towel on the season two weeks ago, losing four straight.  But all Liverpool need to hang on to 4th is a draw at home against the Brighton & Hove Albion Nobodies.  (Nickname verified.)

(The Management here:  Nickname verified as false, asshat.)

Noobstadamus Sees:  Trouble brewing at the office between me and The Management.  Let’s rumble!

RESULT:   Newcastle   3-0     And The Management and Noob ended up doing a test run of a movie review podcast, so all is well.

Image result for fighting with management funny

 

 

 

Quarter neither asked nor given, The Management!!

  1. Maritimo vs. Sporting CP – Primeira Liga

Things are looking grim, if not impossible, for Sporting CP and their CL aspirations.  Portugal’s league gets two berths.  They’re tied for #B, but down insurmountably on goal differential.  And today they get a reasonably tough test on the road at #7 Maritimo.  Far worse, Benfica (fellow #B) have a gimme against low-run Moirirense at home.

Noobstrdamus Sees:  …Europa League in Sporting’s future, even with a 1-2 win today.

RESULT:   Maritimo   2-1    So it’s Europa League for Sporting CP

  1. Standard Liege vs. Club Brugge – Belgium First Division A

This has become won of the best title races in Europe!

Standard Liege just took down Anderlecht, now get their shot at the #1 club.  But they trail by four points in the table, and there’s just one league match to be played after this.  This is must-win for SL regarding title hopes.  Of more concern might be that they’re only ahead of Anderlecht by a point for the second and only other CL invite.

Noobstradamus Sees:  …that Standard Liege has been unbeatable since the league split into championship and relegation subdivisions.  They ratchet up the high drama with a 4-2 win today!

RESULT:   1-1     And so, congrats to Club Brugge, your 2017-18 league champion!

Image result for stoner drama funny

 

 

There may be confusion about “high drama”.

  1. Nurnburg vs. Fortuna Dusseldorf – 2. Bundeliga

For the league title!  So what if it’s second-tier.  This still may well be one of the top-half quality leagues in Europe.

These two are tied and this is the last match of the season.  Someone in charge of scheduling knew what they were doing a year ago!  Nurnburg lead on GD, so FD has to have the win to get the hardware.   But they’re both Promoted to Bundesliga next year, so they’’ll probably go out drinking together afterwards no matter what happens.

Noobstradamus Sees:   …hangovers for everyone!

RESULT:   Dusseldorf   2-3    The game-winner at 90′!   Kudos, champions.

  1. Motagua vs. Marathon – Honduras National League

The Final!  Leg one anyway.  They were #B and #1 in the Clausura (second-half) regular season, deservedly made it through the postseason bracket to duke it out here.

Noobstradamus Sees:   …that, once again, defense travels!  0-1 Marathon.  They’ve the best in the country.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for honduran military funny

 

Honduran defense confused by clown.

It doesn’t HAVE to make sense.  This is Noob.

  1. Saprissa vs. Alajuense – Costa Rica Premier

It’s the last game of the season, and these two are tied in the “Quadrangular”.  The top four from the Clausura regular season have been playing a double round robin.  Saprissa leads on GD, so Alajuense must win on the road to net the title.

Noobstradamus Sees:  Saprissa taking the title, 2-0.   Saprissa are one of North America’s sneaky-best clubs.

RESULT:   1-1  

  1. Corinthians vs. Palmeiras – Brazil Serie A

They’re only a few matches into the season in Brazil, so Noob features last seasons #1 and #B titans facing off!

RESULT:   Corinthians   1-0

Bonus matches:   #1 and league champ Celtic are hosting #B Aberdeen in Scotland.  Also, I’ll offer The Management an olive branch after the earlier rumbling and mention that #2 FC Tokyo is hosting #3 Consadole Sapporo in J1 League.  Happy?

Image result for sao paulo odd

 

 

 

So long from Sao Paulo!

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Relegation Monday! (3/19)

Schedules around the world get light on Mondays.  Instead of getting sad, we embrace the sadness to be found!   Let’s get to know some teams that are about to get unceremoniously kicked out of their current leagues.

  1. Bray Wanderers vs. Waterford – Irish Premier

This league is only six games into its season.  But Bray Wanderers haven’t won a game (and only even drawn one), so Noob doesn’t feel a bit bad about calling them Relegation fodder.  They’re only scoring a goal every other game on average, and giving up a staggering 3x as many.

Waterford won the second-tier First League of Ireland last season and are in 3rd place now.

Fun Fact:  Bray is a smallish resort town, just a dozen miles southeast of Dublin’s center.

RESULT:     ppd

Image result for bray ireland

B.  Slavia Sofia vs. Pirin Blagoevgrad – Bulgaria Pro League

With just a game to go in the regular season, both these clubs are already “qualified” for the Relegation Playoff.  But seeding counts.  Slavia Sofia would move from #B to #1 with a win today.  Blagoevgrad would jump several spots to #B with a win.

Fun Fact:  “The White Avalanche” that is Slavia Sofia are one of three teams from nation’s capital.  The other two are in the Championship division of the league, and probably laugh at them relentlessly.

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for laughing at you meme

 

Srsly?

We try to hold ourselves to a higher standard when allowed the #B list position.

  1. Sepsi vs. Voluntari – Romania Liga I

Romania’s league has divided into Championship and Relegation Playoff halves now.  Sepsi are in third-to-last, Voluntari in third in this grouping.

Fun Fact:  The Voluntari are quite displeased to be in the Relegation Playoff.  They assumed their position as head vampire family of the world would qualify them for the Championship grouping.

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for volturi fighting

 

 

It seems the vampire soccer Voltori blame Robert Pattinson.

 

 

The Management would like to apologize yet again for Noob’s unalterable belief that the Voltori of the Twilight literary and cinematic world are real, and play professional soccer to boot.  Rest assured, the other information therein contained is accurate.

You know, The Management, Dakota Fanning is gonna bite your head clean off.

Vampires don’t do that!

*snicker*

Dammit, Noob, you suckered me into this nonsense again.  Asshat.

  1. Leones vs. Independiente Medellin – Colombia Premier

Leones are in 13th here in the Apertura (first half-season).  But this league determines Relegation using three years of results, and Leones are second-to-last in that.  There, they are in second-to-last.  Medellin is in 3rd, primed for a road win.

Fun Fact:  Leones home city of Itagui is in the Aburra Valley.  Medellin is the biggest city in the region.

RESULT:   Indeoendiente   0-2

  1. Luqueño vs. Santani – Paraguay Premier

Santani were just promoted, and while it’s early, look like they will be sent right back down.  They’re in second-to-last on Relegation table.  Their hosts today are no powerhouse, but a road win will still be hard to come by.

Fun Fact:  Santani the town is named for a Polish priest, presumably Jesuit.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Al Nasr vs. Misr Al-Maqasa – Egypt Premier

Al Nasr are buried in last place, nine points from being clear of Relegation.  The Second Division is all but a mathematical certainty for them now.  They’ll get a chance to save a tiny bit of face as they host below average Maqasa.

Fun Fact:   Nine of the teams in this league are from Cairo, including Al Nasr.  There isn’t a single one in the Second Division though.

RESULT:   Maqasa   0-1

Al Nasr SC Egypt.png

 

 

What a weird crest.   Is it a winged skull of a bovine, Al Nasr?

  1. Erzgebirge vs. Greuther Furth – 2. Bundesliga

Erzgebirge would almost climb out of the Relegation Zone in Germany’s second division with a win today.  Well, they will if they beat this team – one higher than them in the table – by 3+ goals.

Fun Fact:  Aue – home to Erzgebirge – is a town of just 18.000, the smallest to ever have a team playing this high in the German football league system.

RESULT:   Erzge   2-1      Still in the Relegation Zone, but now only down to GF on GD

  1. Carpi vs. Pro Vercelli – Serie B

A lot is at stake for both teams here.  PV is in third-to-last.  They’d have to climb three more spots to be completely clear of the Drop Zone, but even climbing one would do them good.  Then they would play in a Relegation Playout, have a chance to stay up.

Carpi are in 9th.  It sounds better when one knows 3rd through 8th place will play a mini-tournament at season’s end to decide a team that gets promoted to Italy’s top flight.

Fun Fact:  PV actually have seven national titles to their credit!  But they were all won between 1908 and 1922.

RESULT:   Carpi   2-0

Image result for stadio silvio piola

  1. Hapoel Bnei Lod vs. Maccabi Herzliya – Israeli Leumit League

The top half of this 16-team second-tier league will play Championship Playoffs, the other half dueling to not get demoted.

Bnei Lod are in 11th.  It would take a minor miracle for them to jump the necessary teams and climb no fewer than seven points in the table to get to play for the title.  Herzliya are in second-to-last, and there they will remain, nowhere close to climbing a notch or falling to last.

Fun Fact:  Herzliya, the town, is a hoity-toity town in the northern part of greater Tel Aviv.

RESULT:   Bnei Lod   3-1

  1. Huesca vs. Sporting Gijon – Spain Segunda B

Noob finishes off today’s Track with a game of hope and comparative happiness.  Neither club in danger of getting The Boot.  Quite the opposite.

The top two will be automatically promoted to La Liga, and Huesca are in 1st!  But two teams trail them by just three points.

Gijon was demoted last year, looking to get back to top flight.  3rd through 6th place will have a playoff for the third and final promotion at regular season’s end.  They’re unlikely to crack top two, but should be in that playoff.

Fun Fact:  Huesca is home to a bloody legend about a monk who cut off the heads of 12 disobedient nobles.

RESULT:   Gijon   0-2

Image result for bell of huesca

Midweek ’10 to Track’ – three days of perfectly-mixed league and Cup matches

What is T2T?  The ten goldarn best, most important matches to follow for us, the newish American soccer fans.   And let more-seasoned fans fear us, Noobites!   We’ll end up more knowledgeable than they.  Muahaha.

Relegation Monday was a sweet success, as we witnessed two mighty league upsets.  But now Noob returns us to our regularly scheduled, traditionally-“important” games for Tue-Thurs.

Tuesday, 12/19

  1. Leicester City vs. Manchester City – EFL Cup

So many Cups!   Fear not, Noobites.  This is a safe place.   EFL Cup is one vied for by just the top four tiers in the English football pyramid. It is also often referred to by its sponsor name, “The Carabao Cup”.  Easy peasy.

This year’s is now in the Quarterfinals.   Leicester’s been making moves up the Premier League table in recent weeks, but no one’s been a match for Man City all year.  If L.C. hopes to catch they’re guests napping, they’ll still need to shore up their very dodgy defense.

RESULT:   Man City   1-1  /  3-4 pk

B.  Carlisle United vs. Gillingham – English FA Cup

The FA Cup is the most popular one.  Teams all the way down to the 20th level have been competing.  This one’s in its Second Round Proper (Proper referring to the stage when Premier League teams start playing this even).

This is a Replay.  These two faced off about a week ago and had a 1-1 draw at tier-three Gillingham.  Rather than settle it with penalty kicks, they play again.  But this time, it’s at the tier-four side’s place.   Either way, we’re treated to a Minnow (over-achieving lower-tiered team) in the next Round.

RESULT:    Carlisle   3-1       The tier-four side is through to the Round of 64!

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Those bend-y lights and giant soccer ball are pretty humorous.

  1. Paderborn vs. Ingolstadt – DFB Pokal (German FA Cup)

Round of 16 time.  3. Bundesliga (third tier) Paderborn is your Minnow, facing a top-flight team.

Paderborn have been as high as 2. Bundesliga as recently as two seasons ago.  They would’ve been Relegated last season into the tier-four Regional Leagues, but a team from 2. Bundesliga was sent down two levels instead.  Probably for naughtiness.

RESULT:   Paderborn   1-0      Minnow success!   

Wednesday, 12/20

  1. Bristol Rovers vs. Manchester United – EFL Cup

Bristol is the only non-Premier League team left alive here in the Quarterfinals.  They’re’ in 3rd place in the ECL (English second tier), but facing a Man club is another universe.

RESULT:   Bristol 2-1      Upset!  The Championship League team is through!

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Wouldn’t you love to see someone try diving into that and finding a stud?

  1. AS Monaco vs. Rennes – Ligue 1

2nd place hosts 7th here.  This one is closer-looking in the table than it will be on the field.  Rennes is having a .500 year.  Monaco is tied for 2nd with Lyon, but nine points in back of Paris-Saint-Germain.  If they dream of a title push, they know they must lock down home games like these.

RESULT:   Monaco   2-1

  1. AS Roma vs. Torino – Coppa Italia (FA Cup)

Italy doesn’t appear to do a random draw for who hosts during the bracketed portion of its FA Cup.  They’re down to 16 teams, and the eight good Serie A teams all get to host these elimination matches.

This game match has at least a fair chance of us seeing an upset.  Torino is in 10th in league play, Roma in 4th.  Roma have given up the fewest goals in league, just ten in 16 games.

RESULT:   Torino   1-2      Best chance realized – upset!

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Utter fear, mild surprise, and– whatever that is…

Torino football fever!

  1. Anorthosis vs. APOEL Nicosia – Cyprus First Division

APOEL is a name tenured Noobites may recognize.   They competed in the Champions League Group Stage.  They didn’t advance, but weren’t expected to.   If they want to make it again next year, they have some work to do, being in 4th place currently.   But they’ve played fewer league games because of their international play, so even travelling to #1 and undefeated Anorthosis isn’t too bleak a prospect.

RESULT:   APOEL   0-3

  1. Union Española vs. Universidad de Concepcion – Chile Premier

The Chilean format is a little blurry for Noob, but we can get this down to brass tacks.   This is the second match of a Runners-Up Playoff for a spot in next year’s Copa Libertadores.   Concepcion had the best second half record of all teams not already qualified for CL next year.   Española had the second-best record for the overall season (and perhaps second-best in the Apertura/first half-season).

It’s two pretty good teams that didn’t quite qualify in other ways for C.L.   There!   Much easier.  Concepcion won the first match of this two-legged tie 1-0.

RESULT:   Concepcion   1-2      And they win on aggregate 3-1, on to next year’s Copa Libertadores!

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Thursday, 12/21

  1. Monterrey vs. Pachuca – Apertura 2017 Copa MX

If this event seems familiar, it may be because it started all the way back in July.  The big earthquake derailed football there for a time.

Mexico is a country that basically plays two FA Cups per season.  Each only involves teams from the top two leagues.

This is a one-off match for the Apertura (first half-season) Copa title, and fittingly between the top league #1 and #2 sides.   Monterrey’s been dominant in league, but Pachuca has been demolishing opponents in this tournament.  Can they go into the lion’s den and rip away the trophy?

RESULT:   Monterrey   1-0      The favorites have done it – Apertura Copa MX chamPEEEEEENS!

  1. Gent vs. Sporting Charleroi – Belgium First Division A

This league likely only gets two berths in next year’s Champions League.  The top six teams here make the league playoffs.

Gent have an excellent goal differential, but apparently have been winning big but losing close, as they’re just in 5th place.   Charleroi won’t catch Club Brugge for the #1 seed, but a big road win would gain them a firmer grip on the #2.

RESULT:   Gent   1-0       Gent move up to 4th place.

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Step 1.)  Do steps 2-4 for a LONG time BEFORE picking up a baby.