Schedules around the world get light on Mondays. Instead of getting sad, we embrace the sadness to be found! Let’s get to know some teams that are about to get unceremoniously kicked out of their current leagues.
Bray Wanderers vs. Waterford – Irish Premier
This league is only six games into its season. But Bray Wanderers haven’t won a game (and only even drawn one), so Noob doesn’t feel a bit bad about calling them Relegation fodder. They’re only scoring a goal every other game on average, and giving up a staggering 3x as many.
Waterford won the second-tier First League of Ireland last season and are in 3rd place now.
Fun Fact: Bray is a smallish resort town, just a dozen miles southeast of Dublin’s center.
B. Slavia Sofia vs. Pirin Blagoevgrad – Bulgaria Pro League
With just a game to go in the regular season, both these clubs are already “qualified” for the Relegation Playoff. But seeding counts. Slavia Sofia would move from #B to #1 with a win today. Blagoevgrad would jump several spots to #B with a win.
Fun Fact: “The White Avalanche” that is Slavia Sofia are one of three teams from nation’s capital. The other two are in the Championship division of the league, and probably laugh at them relentlessly.
We try to hold ourselves to a higher standard when allowed the #B list position.
Sepsi vs. Voluntari – Romania Liga I
Romania’s league has divided into Championship and Relegation Playoff halves now. Sepsi are in third-to-last, Voluntari in third in this grouping.
Fun Fact: The Voluntari are quite displeased to be in the Relegation Playoff. They assumed their position as head vampire family of the world would qualify them for the Championship grouping.
It seems the vampire soccer Voltori blame Robert Pattinson.
The Management would like to apologize yet again for Noob’s unalterable belief that the Voltori of the Twilight literary and cinematic world are real, and play professional soccer to boot. Rest assured, the other information therein contained is accurate.
You know, The Management, Dakota Fanning is gonna bite your head clean off.
Vampires don’t do that!
Dammit, Noob, you suckered me into this nonsense again. Asshat.
Leones vs. Independiente Medellin – Colombia Premier
Leones are in 13th here in the Apertura (first half-season). But this league determines Relegation using three years of results, and Leones are second-to-last in that. There, they are in second-to-last. Medellin is in 3rd, primed for a road win.
Fun Fact: Leones home city of Itagui is in the Aburra Valley. Medellin is the biggest city in the region.
RESULT: Indeoendiente 0-2
Luqueño vs. Santani – Paraguay Premier
Santani were just promoted, and while it’s early, look like they will be sent right back down. They’re in second-to-last on Relegation table. Their hosts today are no powerhouse, but a road win will still be hard to come by.
Fun Fact: Santani the town is named for a Polish priest, presumably Jesuit.
Al Nasr vs. Misr Al-Maqasa – Egypt Premier
Al Nasr are buried in last place, nine points from being clear of Relegation. The Second Division is all but a mathematical certainty for them now. They’ll get a chance to save a tiny bit of face as they host below average Maqasa.
Fun Fact: Nine of the teams in this league are from Cairo, including Al Nasr. There isn’t a single one in the Second Division though.
RESULT: Maqasa 0-1
What a weird crest. Is it a winged skull of a bovine, Al Nasr?
Erzgebirge vs. Greuther Furth – 2. Bundesliga
Erzgebirge would almost climb out of the Relegation Zone in Germany’s second division with a win today. Well, they will if they beat this team – one higher than them in the table – by 3+ goals.
Fun Fact: Aue – home to Erzgebirge – is a town of just 18.000, the smallest to ever have a team playing this high in the German football league system.
RESULT: Erzge 2-1 Still in the Relegation Zone, but now only down to GF on GD
Carpi vs. Pro Vercelli – Serie B
A lot is at stake for both teams here. PV is in third-to-last. They’d have to climb three more spots to be completely clear of the Drop Zone, but even climbing one would do them good. Then they would play in a Relegation Playout, have a chance to stay up.
Carpi are in 9th. It sounds better when one knows 3rd through 8th place will play a mini-tournament at season’s end to decide a team that gets promoted to Italy’s top flight.
Fun Fact: PV actually have seven national titles to their credit! But they were all won between 1908 and 1922.
RESULT: Carpi 2-0
Hapoel Bnei Lod vs. Maccabi Herzliya – Israeli Leumit League
The top half of this 16-team second-tier league will play Championship Playoffs, the other half dueling to not get demoted.
Bnei Lod are in 11th. It would take a minor miracle for them to jump the necessary teams and climb no fewer than seven points in the table to get to play for the title. Herzliya are in second-to-last, and there they will remain, nowhere close to climbing a notch or falling to last.
Fun Fact: Herzliya, the town, is a hoity-toity town in the northern part of greater Tel Aviv.
RESULT: Bnei Lod 3-1
Huesca vs. Sporting Gijon – Spain Segunda B
Noob finishes off today’s Track with a game of hope and comparative happiness. Neither club in danger of getting The Boot. Quite the opposite.
The top two will be automatically promoted to La Liga, and Huesca are in 1st! But two teams trail them by just three points.
Gijon was demoted last year, looking to get back to top flight. 3rd through 6th place will have a playoff for the third and final promotion at regular season’s end. They’re unlikely to crack top two, but should be in that playoff.
Fun Fact: Huesca is home to a bloody legend about a monk who cut off the heads of 12 disobedient nobles.
RESULT: Gijon 0-2