Tag: Bulgaria First Professional League

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Globetrotting Friday! Quality football, a Bob Ross appearance, and The Management hurts Noob’s feelings

We’ve got a super-solid lineup for “the ten most important matches to follow for the newish American fan”, especially considering it’s a Friday!

Fear not.  By Track’s end, we’ll still Globetrot for one unusual desitination.  Until then, enjoy the weirdest soccer previewing on the interblag.

  1. New England Revolution vs. Montreal Impact – MLS

Both these clubs missed the Playoffs last season.  But they’ve each won two out of four early for promising starts.

Noob doesn’t think either have the offense to stay in the top half of the Eastern Conference standings.  Which might prove me wrong today though?  (7:30 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 8)

RESULT:   New England   4-0    Montreal lost a player to a red card pretty early.

Nostalgia time —

B.  England vs. Wales – women’s World Cup qualification (UEFA)

Wales are 3-1-0 in this Group.  All three of their wins have been 1-0 (or 0-1).

England, meanwhile, are 3-0-0 and have outscored their opponents 15-zilch.  Wales make qualify for World Cup by finishing #B in this bunch, but they’ll be dragon soup today.

RESULT:   0-0     no soup for Noob

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Danger!  Number B about to be carried away by dragon over soup-threat!

  1. Cardiff City vs. Wolverhampton Wanderers – English Championship

The top two face off in England’s second division!  If they finish as such (likely), they’ll both be automatically promoted to Premier League next season.  Still, Fulham and Aston Villa aren’t that far back of Cardiff, so they’re still plenty motivated.

To win today, Cardiff will have to control the pace.  They play the best defense in that league.  WW have the best offense though.

RESULT:   Wolverhampton   0-1

  1. Puebla vs. Pachuca – Liga MX

Puebla are in a three-way tie for the last two spots in the table that will make the postseason Liguilla (playoffs).

Pachuca are only two points behind them, but have to leap several teams to make the top eight themselves.  Noob’s nowhere near convinced their wide-open style/Swiss cheese defense (though good offense) can get it done today.  (8:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Pachuca   2-6      Of course, Noob could be mistaken…

Image result for soccer swiss cheese

  1. Waterford vs. Cork City – Irish Premier

Promoted to Premier this season, Waterford continue to impress.  They’re tied for #B in the table, just a point off Cork City’s pace.   They don’t score anywhere near enough to likely stay there, but it’s fun to see new blood near the top for now.

RESULT:   Waterford   2-1    Waterford move into a tie for 1st.  4 red cards were issued in the final minute of regulation.  

  1. France vs. Nigeria –women’s international friendly

World Cup tuneup!   Maybe it’s a little early to call it that, since the women’s isn’t until 2019.    But France are automatically in as the host nation (and would qualify anyway, trust me).    Africa’s qualification tournament doesn’t start until summer, but Nigeria is one of that federation’s four strongest.  So tuneup, says I!

RESULT:   France   8-0     Apparently Nigeria tuned out

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Noob can relate.  Thanks, Bob.

  1. Sporting Charleroi vs. Anderlecht – Belgian First Division A

Belgium’s top league has divided into Championship and Relegation subdivisions now. These two finished the regular season #B and #3, but Gent has now passed them both.  Since Belgium only gets two berths into Champions League, this is a vital match for both sides.

Charleroi better start finding the back of the net again.  They’re in a drought.

RESULT:   Anderlecht   1-2

  1. Ludogorets Razgrad vs. CSKA-Sofia – Bulgaria First Pro League

Bulgaria’s top league is ranked in the top half of UEFA (24th), but that’s still only good for one Champions league berth next year.  These two are #1 and #B, separated by only three points in the table, and very similar statistically as well.  Dynamite matchup.

RESULT:   Ludogorets Razgrad   3-2     Sofia went down a man to a red card early in the 2nd half.  LR scored the equalizer and winning goals very late.

Image result for soccer dynamite

  1. Jong Ajax vs. NEC Nijmegen – Dutch Eerste Divisie

It’s a tie for #B!   And they’re just a point out of 1st place, too.  As a reserve side, Jong Ajax isn’t eligible to be promoted.  But the Fighting Nijets are.

RESULT:   J.Ajax   3-2

The Management would like to apologize to our readers.  NEC are not the “Nijets” or even “Nidgets”, and even the correctly-spelled latter one would be a terrible nickname in any case.  Thank you for—

They didn’t seem to have a mascot.  So I gave them one.

You’re the Nidget.

That hurts me.  Just because you may be right doesn’t mean you don’t need to shut up.

  1. Waterhouse vs. Harbour View – Jamaica Premier

We need us some Jamaica time after that high drama!  4th place hosts 5th.  Noob leans libertarian-ish, so while not a user himself, smoke it if you’ve got it.

RESULT:   Waterhouse   2-1     Turns out this was played yesterday.  And that it was the second leg of a league playoff Quarterfinal!  Waterhouse advances on aggregate, 3-1.

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That’s the spirit.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Relegation Monday! (3/19)

Schedules around the world get light on Mondays.  Instead of getting sad, we embrace the sadness to be found!   Let’s get to know some teams that are about to get unceremoniously kicked out of their current leagues.

  1. Bray Wanderers vs. Waterford – Irish Premier

This league is only six games into its season.  But Bray Wanderers haven’t won a game (and only even drawn one), so Noob doesn’t feel a bit bad about calling them Relegation fodder.  They’re only scoring a goal every other game on average, and giving up a staggering 3x as many.

Waterford won the second-tier First League of Ireland last season and are in 3rd place now.

Fun Fact:  Bray is a smallish resort town, just a dozen miles southeast of Dublin’s center.

RESULT:     ppd

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B.  Slavia Sofia vs. Pirin Blagoevgrad – Bulgaria Pro League

With just a game to go in the regular season, both these clubs are already “qualified” for the Relegation Playoff.  But seeding counts.  Slavia Sofia would move from #B to #1 with a win today.  Blagoevgrad would jump several spots to #B with a win.

Fun Fact:  “The White Avalanche” that is Slavia Sofia are one of three teams from nation’s capital.  The other two are in the Championship division of the league, and probably laugh at them relentlessly.

RESULT:   2-2

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Srsly?

We try to hold ourselves to a higher standard when allowed the #B list position.

  1. Sepsi vs. Voluntari – Romania Liga I

Romania’s league has divided into Championship and Relegation Playoff halves now.  Sepsi are in third-to-last, Voluntari in third in this grouping.

Fun Fact:  The Voluntari are quite displeased to be in the Relegation Playoff.  They assumed their position as head vampire family of the world would qualify them for the Championship grouping.

RESULT:   2-2

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It seems the vampire soccer Voltori blame Robert Pattinson.

 

 

The Management would like to apologize yet again for Noob’s unalterable belief that the Voltori of the Twilight literary and cinematic world are real, and play professional soccer to boot.  Rest assured, the other information therein contained is accurate.

You know, The Management, Dakota Fanning is gonna bite your head clean off.

Vampires don’t do that!

*snicker*

Dammit, Noob, you suckered me into this nonsense again.  Asshat.

  1. Leones vs. Independiente Medellin – Colombia Premier

Leones are in 13th here in the Apertura (first half-season).  But this league determines Relegation using three years of results, and Leones are second-to-last in that.  There, they are in second-to-last.  Medellin is in 3rd, primed for a road win.

Fun Fact:  Leones home city of Itagui is in the Aburra Valley.  Medellin is the biggest city in the region.

RESULT:   Indeoendiente   0-2

  1. Luqueño vs. Santani – Paraguay Premier

Santani were just promoted, and while it’s early, look like they will be sent right back down.  They’re in second-to-last on Relegation table.  Their hosts today are no powerhouse, but a road win will still be hard to come by.

Fun Fact:  Santani the town is named for a Polish priest, presumably Jesuit.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Al Nasr vs. Misr Al-Maqasa – Egypt Premier

Al Nasr are buried in last place, nine points from being clear of Relegation.  The Second Division is all but a mathematical certainty for them now.  They’ll get a chance to save a tiny bit of face as they host below average Maqasa.

Fun Fact:   Nine of the teams in this league are from Cairo, including Al Nasr.  There isn’t a single one in the Second Division though.

RESULT:   Maqasa   0-1

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What a weird crest.   Is it a winged skull of a bovine, Al Nasr?

  1. Erzgebirge vs. Greuther Furth – 2. Bundesliga

Erzgebirge would almost climb out of the Relegation Zone in Germany’s second division with a win today.  Well, they will if they beat this team – one higher than them in the table – by 3+ goals.

Fun Fact:  Aue – home to Erzgebirge – is a town of just 18.000, the smallest to ever have a team playing this high in the German football league system.

RESULT:   Erzge   2-1      Still in the Relegation Zone, but now only down to GF on GD

  1. Carpi vs. Pro Vercelli – Serie B

A lot is at stake for both teams here.  PV is in third-to-last.  They’d have to climb three more spots to be completely clear of the Drop Zone, but even climbing one would do them good.  Then they would play in a Relegation Playout, have a chance to stay up.

Carpi are in 9th.  It sounds better when one knows 3rd through 8th place will play a mini-tournament at season’s end to decide a team that gets promoted to Italy’s top flight.

Fun Fact:  PV actually have seven national titles to their credit!  But they were all won between 1908 and 1922.

RESULT:   Carpi   2-0

Image result for stadio silvio piola

  1. Hapoel Bnei Lod vs. Maccabi Herzliya – Israeli Leumit League

The top half of this 16-team second-tier league will play Championship Playoffs, the other half dueling to not get demoted.

Bnei Lod are in 11th.  It would take a minor miracle for them to jump the necessary teams and climb no fewer than seven points in the table to get to play for the title.  Herzliya are in second-to-last, and there they will remain, nowhere close to climbing a notch or falling to last.

Fun Fact:  Herzliya, the town, is a hoity-toity town in the northern part of greater Tel Aviv.

RESULT:   Bnei Lod   3-1

  1. Huesca vs. Sporting Gijon – Spain Segunda B

Noob finishes off today’s Track with a game of hope and comparative happiness.  Neither club in danger of getting The Boot.  Quite the opposite.

The top two will be automatically promoted to La Liga, and Huesca are in 1st!  But two teams trail them by just three points.

Gijon was demoted last year, looking to get back to top flight.  3rd through 6th place will have a playoff for the third and final promotion at regular season’s end.  They’re unlikely to crack top two, but should be in that playoff.

Fun Fact:  Huesca is home to a bloody legend about a monk who cut off the heads of 12 disobedient nobles.

RESULT:   Gijon   0-2

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’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Relegation Monday (3/5) – Suck less, Crystal Palace!

Relegation Monday — Noob’s weekly delving into the table-bottoms of so many leagues.  It’s a catacomb of crappiness, a celebration of suckitude!  Let’s get to know these lowbies before they’re given The Boot.

First, we feature three non-Relegation matches:

  1. Finn Harps vs. Mayo League – Irish League Cup

What is this event:  It is not Ireland’s FA Cup.  This is a Knockout competition for the top two leagues’ teams, plus whichever other ones the powers-that-be felt like inviting to bring the total number up to 24.  While those extras are mostly third-division clubs, this match is different.

The Mayo League is county-level, 7th-tier, and it’s amateurs and kids!  Noob’s honestly not certain if this is select players from various teams in the league or one simply one existing team from there, but I imagine this is the thrill of a lifetime for them.  Finn Harps were Relegated to second-division last year.  Will it be competitive?  Probably not.  Does that matter to Noob?  Absolutely not.

RESULT:     ppd due to wearher

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An enviable, elegant league crest.  Well-done.

B.  Nasaf Qarshi vs. Al-Sadd – AFC Champions League

The Group Stage continues in Asia’s premier event.  Pods of four teams, each plays a double-round robin.  Top two from each advance to the Knockout Stage.  These two are from Uzbeikstan (9th-best Asian league) and Qatar (6th-best).  Ability-wise, these clubs would be right at home in MLS.

Al-Sadd is 2-0, Qarshi 1-0-1.  The Uzbeks have already been drubbed by Persepolis, with whom they are tied.  They’re going to have to pull an upset at some point in order to move on.  This is a bad matchup for them though, as Al-Sadd have offensive firepower they don’t.

RESULT:   Qarshi   1-0      Or Noob could be mistaken.  Uzebek, ho!

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Yup.  Group of Four of Number B’s.

  1. Portugal vs. Norway – Algarve Cup

The Group Stage continues in this historically shiny women’s tournament as well.  The format’s a tiny bit strange.  The 12 teams are divided into Pods of three.  Each club plays the others once.  Then the teams are paired off in king-of-the-hill matchups to end the event, 1st playing 2nd, 3rd playing 4th, etc.  Since there are an odd number of Groups, that’s a little crazytown.

Noob continues to give his love to the host Portuguese.  They came in with the lowest FIFA ranking of all teams competing, yet are tied for first in their Group.  Norway is just a point behind.

RESULT:   Portgual   2-0

OK, that was grand.  Now, could we please inhabit the darkness of Relegation zones?  You betcha!

  1. Crystal Palace vs. Manchester United – English Premier

Palace haven’t won a match since January, and so occupy a Relegation spot (third-to-last).  The only things they could possibly have going for them are 1) that Man Utd. might overlook them, B)  Man Utd. might relax just because they’re Champions League berth-top four finish looks secure, and 3) Palace’s own desperation.  (3:00 PM Eastern, NBCSN)

Fun Fact:  Palace is named for the building in which they were founded, a massive exhibition hall in Hyde Park, London.

RESULT:   2-2     So close!   Palace actually led 2-0.

  1. Celta Vigo vs. Las Palmas – La Liga

Like Palace, Las Palmas are in the “last” Relegation spot in their league.  They’re only a point behind Levante, but that’s the only team could possibly catch.  They’re not going to.  Even 1tth place Celta Vigo can overwhelm them at home.

Noob hopes beyond hope for them though.  They’re from the Canary Islands, and I have in inexplicable fondness for teams from such areas.  (3:00 PM, beIN Sports)

Fun Fact:  Actor Javier Bardem is from Las Palmas.

RESULT:   CV   2-1

  1. Estudiantes vs. Olimpo – Argentina Premier

Argentina’s top league Relegates based on four years of results.  Olimpo’s one disastrous 2016 is looking likely to cost them membership in the Premier.  They’re in second-to-last this season, not doing anything to help their cause.  Estudiantes are having a subpar year for them, but still in 11th.

Fun Fact:  Fishing sharks from both boats and bay piers is becoming a very popular recreational activity.

RESULT:   Estudiantes   1-0

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Wait, he went in  that little boat??

  1. Apollon Smirnis vs. Panetolikos – Greek Superleague

10th place Panetolikos is as average a team as can be found in Greece.  And so Noobstrdamus is calling this one for the second-to-last place “Light Brigade”!

Not “Fun”, But Interesting Fact:  Smirnis was founded in Smyrna in the 19th C., but expelled from there during the fighting between Turkey and Greece which followed WWI.  They are now based in Athens.

RESULT:   Smirnis   2-1     It’s a Relegation Monday miracle and a Noober success!

  1. Macabbi Haifa vs. Hapoel Haifa – Israeli Premier

The battle for Haifa!   In truth, it could be a bit more dramatic.  There’s a wide gap between the top six and bottom eight in this league, so it’s already known which teams have made the title playoffs and which will play Relegation playoffs.  Macabbi are in 10th, Hapoel 4th.

Fun Fact:  These two share a 30.000+ seat stadium, Sammy Ofer Stadium.

RESULT:   HH   0-3

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The shipping magnate himself

9.  Al Mokawloon Al Arab vs. Tanta – Egypt Premier

Tanta is in the last Relegation spot, meaning they have the best chance to move up and out.  They’re just two points behind Wadi Degla.  Al Mokawloon are in 8th.  They like a wide open game, so should take care of business at home against defensively-struggling Tanta.

Fun Fact:  About 3 million people come to Tanta annually, at the end of the cotton harvest there.  The city is home to well under half a million.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Dunav Ruse vs. CSKA-Sofia – Bulgaria First Pro League

Just like Israel, this league will split into title playoffs (6 teams) and Relegation Playoffs (8 teams).  Dunav Ruse are in third-to-last.  It would take a miracle for them to climb to top six at this point.

CSKA-Sofia are #B in the league, with all-but-dashed hopes (six points back) of catching #1 Ludogorets Razgrad for the regular season title.  Ruse’s hope lies in CSKA-Sofia possibly not caring about this one.  That’s it.  Because they score and defend literally three times better than Ruse.

Fun Fact:  Ruse may come from the name (Rusa, meaning “blonde”) for a female founder of the city from the 13th-14th C.

RESULT:   CSKA-Sofia   0-2

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And wow, and she doesn’t look a day over 550.