Noob interview with Dryaw FC star striker Christopher Wilbertson. With wine. And authors. Weird again.

Wed., March 28, 2019 – Dryaw, Sodor –

Ah, Dryaw. Noob’s favorite place on the Isle. The village is a haven for writers and intellectuals, and cool as s**t people from Sodor and beyond. I’ve been lingering since last weekend’s Premier League feature match here.

Noob had just finished a meal at Joseph Tidy’s. I’d been dining with my usual suspect-friends – American author me Daniel Heck and 80’s TV Star (“The Fall Guy”), screenwriter and current vintner Doug Barr Image result for Doug Barr — as well as hard science fiction writer and PhD in astrophysics Alastair Reynolds  and his lovely wife Noordwijk. In stumbled a desperately forlorn Christopher Wilbertson – leading scorer and resident nutjob for IoS PL’s #1 Dryaw FC.

2002 Hollywood & Vine Cabernet Sauv 2480 What could be troubling him? Interview time. I excused myself from my dinner companions, swiping the last full bottle of Barr’s Hollywood and Vine Cellars 2002 vintage cab sav ‘2480’ off the table. Heck and Reynolds could argue whether the latter’s space-swashbuckly Revenger was high-end kids lit or straight sci-fi without Noob.

Image result for Alastair Reynolds holding Revenger(For the record, if the protagonist/s is/are young and the plot has no loops and any prominent adult characters are neutered of real power, it’s kid lit.  If no, than not.)

So I waved an already half-sluiced Wilbertson over to another table. He had a small smile for the only journo providing international coverage for Sudric soccer, but slumped upon sitting. Noob filled his glass and C-Dub went on the record:

Wilbertson: Kane may not be in it for the money, but I could surely use a windfall someday. Do you know what we get paid here? Do you even know what the currency of Sodor is?

Noob: Did I somehow miss half a conversation?

Image result for harry kane haley joel osmentWilbertson: Since I'm not as famous as that giant-headed Haley Joel Osment-looking diva, I even kept my dream more realistic than Kane's. I set my sights on the American Alliance of Football.

Noob: Riiiight. I can't believe Harry Kane says he wants to kick in the NFL someday.  [read the ESPN FC article]  Man-crush on Tom Brady has to be big in that equation. So, you were going to shoot for the upstart AAF, a developmental league.

Wilbertson: They're only weeks into their first season and already talking about folding. [Read the ESPN.com article]  Like they didn't know until now the NFLPA might be a little resistant to sending its younger players anywhere else. Pshaw.

Noob: Well, maybe the XFL will have better luck next year than they did in 2001.

Wilbertson: The whowha?

Noob: WWE's Vince McMahon started a league in 2001, was to be all wrestling-esque and fun. But it crapped out after a season.

Wilbertson: I could even play defense in a league like that! You've seen my signature goal-celebrating move.

Noob: The famous Klinsmann Dive you're always trying to recreate.

Wilbertson: Trying? Asshat.

Noob: We can still be friends.

Wilbertson: Just imagine the Dive, but now someone from the other team under me. I can kick and tackle in the fake-Wrestleball. Hope lives!

Noob: They prefer “fixed” to “fake”. And in this XFL incarnation, they're going to try to be a regular old developmental league.

Wilbertson: That sounds like it will be awful.

Noob: It will be.

Wilbertson: You are a bringer of ill news, Noob. Be gone.  Leave the vino.

And so I left Christopher Wilbertson openly weeping into his wine glass, so many other questions still rattling in my skull:

Would this affect his Premier League play going forward?  If so, could it cost Dryaw FC the title?  Did the XFL really plan on being boring as all get-out?  Could I get Doug Barr to put out a kick-ass syrah next growing sesason?  What’s Lee Majors doing now?  How will Noob end this oh-so-strange, meandering interview piece?

Image result for vince mcmahon confused gif

There’s one answered.

Isle of Sodor Premier League – matchday 27 – all results, updated table, new hotness

Matchday 27 in Review (2/23-24/19)

Saturday feature matchBrendam Darby goes United 0, Harbor 7

Image result for BHFC crest Saturday’s feature match may not have had league title implications, but a derby is a derby!   And sometimes a match can be a blowout, as Brendam Harbor took the first FA-official local derby 0-7 over Brendam United.

 

United are now in real danger of potentially sinking into the Relegation Zone after #18 Ulfstead‘s win.

KEPA HAS NOTHING ON SUDRIC GOALIE

Image result for sutton reserve goalie sitting The only drama came at 3′ when the match was delayed several minutes.

To honor retiring reserve goalkeeper Angus Waldroup, United chose to start him briefly.   When the planned time to pull him came, he sat, saying they could sub him out if they could carry him.  [Click to read the  ESPNFC article about Chelsea keeper Kepa refusing to be subbed out during yesterday’s FA Cup final.]

The solution?  Assistant Hugh MacDuff had the caterers set up the postgame food table early.  Word of that got Waldroup up off that fat ass and to the locker room at a terrifying speed.

Sunday feature match#2 closes gap on league-leaders

Image result for ktfc crest

Knapford Town rebounded from last week’s tough loss to defeat East Coast Diesel 2-8.  E.C.D. look wiped out after a grueling stretch of top teams faced in February.  KTFC lost their local derby last week 8-9, but their mettle was stronger.

 

Coupled #1 Dryaw FC‘s surprising home loss, Knapford now only trail the top table spot by two points.

—- ALL MATCHDAY 27 RESULTS, UPDATED TABLE ——-

Sat., 2/23
T15     Brendam Utd.          0   vs.    7      #14    Brendam Harbor
#13     Marron                       7   vs.    4       #3     Kirk Ronan
#19    Tidmouth City         1    vs.    5       #5     Crovan’s Gate
T11      Castle Rolf                6   vs.    0       #10   Suddery
T8       Junction & Sheds    1   vs.    2       #15    Lakeside

2/24
#20    Arlesburgh Utd.       0   vs.     1       #4    Peel Godred
#6      East Coast Diesel     2   vs.     8      #2    Knapford Town
T11      Vicarstown                4   vs.     7      #18   Ulfstead
#7       Wellsworth                5   vs.    4      #17   Ffarquhar
#1        Dryaw                          5   vs.     6     #9     Glennock

1 1 Dryaw 19 5 3 62 League Champions
B B Knapford Town 19 4 4 60
4 3 Peel Godred 18 4 5 58
3 4 Kirk Ronan 17 5 5 56
5 5 Crovan’s Gate 16 7 4 55
6 6 East Coast Diesel 13 7 7 46
7 7 Wellsworth 14 3 8 45
9 8 Glennock 12 5 10 41
8 9 Junction & Sheds 12 4 9 40
10 10 Suddery 10 6 11 36
T11 11 Castle Rolf 9 7 11 34
T11 T12 Vicarstown 7 10 10 31
13 T12 Marron 9 4 14 31
14 14 Brendam Harbor 8 6 13 30
T15 15 Lakeside 8 5 14 29
T15 16 Brendam United 7 5 15 26
17 17 Ffarquhar 6 5 16 23
18 18 Ulfstead 6 4 17 22 Relegated to Sodor Championship
19 19 Tidmouth City 4 3 20 15
20 20 Arlesburgh United 4 1 22 13