Noob interview with Dryaw FC star striker Christopher Wilbertson. With wine. And authors. Weird again.

Wed., March 28, 2019 – Dryaw, Sodor –

Ah, Dryaw. Noob’s favorite place on the Isle. The village is a haven for writers and intellectuals, and cool as s**t people from Sodor and beyond. I’ve been lingering since last weekend’s Premier League feature match here.

Noob had just finished a meal at Joseph Tidy’s. I’d been dining with my usual suspect-friends – American author me Daniel Heck and 80’s TV Star (“The Fall Guy”), screenwriter and current vintner Doug Barr Image result for Doug Barr — as well as hard science fiction writer and PhD in astrophysics Alastair Reynolds  and his lovely wife Noordwijk. In stumbled a desperately forlorn Christopher Wilbertson – leading scorer and resident nutjob for IoS PL’s #1 Dryaw FC.

2002 Hollywood & Vine Cabernet Sauv 2480 What could be troubling him? Interview time. I excused myself from my dinner companions, swiping the last full bottle of Barr’s Hollywood and Vine Cellars 2002 vintage cab sav ‘2480’ off the table. Heck and Reynolds could argue whether the latter’s space-swashbuckly Revenger was high-end kids lit or straight sci-fi without Noob.

Image result for Alastair Reynolds holding Revenger(For the record, if the protagonist/s is/are young and the plot has no loops and any prominent adult characters are neutered of real power, it’s kid lit.  If no, than not.)

So I waved an already half-sluiced Wilbertson over to another table. He had a small smile for the only journo providing international coverage for Sudric soccer, but slumped upon sitting. Noob filled his glass and C-Dub went on the record:

Wilbertson: Kane may not be in it for the money, but I could surely use a windfall someday. Do you know what we get paid here? Do you even know what the currency of Sodor is?

Noob: Did I somehow miss half a conversation?

Image result for harry kane haley joel osmentWilbertson: Since I'm not as famous as that giant-headed Haley Joel Osment-looking diva, I even kept my dream more realistic than Kane's. I set my sights on the American Alliance of Football.

Noob: Riiiight. I can't believe Harry Kane says he wants to kick in the NFL someday.  [read the ESPN FC article]  Man-crush on Tom Brady has to be big in that equation. So, you were going to shoot for the upstart AAF, a developmental league.

Wilbertson: They're only weeks into their first season and already talking about folding. [Read the ESPN.com article]  Like they didn't know until now the NFLPA might be a little resistant to sending its younger players anywhere else. Pshaw.

Noob: Well, maybe the XFL will have better luck next year than they did in 2001.

Wilbertson: The whowha?

Noob: WWE's Vince McMahon started a league in 2001, was to be all wrestling-esque and fun. But it crapped out after a season.

Wilbertson: I could even play defense in a league like that! You've seen my signature goal-celebrating move.

Noob: The famous Klinsmann Dive you're always trying to recreate.

Wilbertson: Trying? Asshat.

Noob: We can still be friends.

Wilbertson: Just imagine the Dive, but now someone from the other team under me. I can kick and tackle in the fake-Wrestleball. Hope lives!

Noob: They prefer “fixed” to “fake”. And in this XFL incarnation, they're going to try to be a regular old developmental league.

Wilbertson: That sounds like it will be awful.

Noob: It will be.

Wilbertson: You are a bringer of ill news, Noob. Be gone.  Leave the vino.

And so I left Christopher Wilbertson openly weeping into his wine glass, so many other questions still rattling in my skull:

Would this affect his Premier League play going forward?  If so, could it cost Dryaw FC the title?  Did the XFL really plan on being boring as all get-out?  Could I get Doug Barr to put out a kick-ass syrah next growing sesason?  What’s Lee Majors doing now?  How will Noob end this oh-so-strange, meandering interview piece?

Image result for vince mcmahon confused gif

There’s one answered.

Isle of Sodor Premier League – matchday 30 (3/23-24) – Sun. #1 take on the FA Cup winners

Matchday 30 (Sun., 3/24) Preview 

#2   Knapford Town   vs.    #15  Vicarstown
#4   Crovan’s Gate      vs.    #11   Castle Rolf
#13  Marron                   vs.     T7    E.C.D.
#6   Wellsworth           vs.     #18  Ulfstead

Plus the Sunday Feature Match:    #1 Dryaw hosts #14 Brendam Harbor

Hello from village Dryaw!   Noob usually attends both the weekend’s Feature Matches.   But no way I was going to interrupt my stay in Dryaw this week.   The preview’s a’comin’, but first, indulge Noob’s small peek into my long-term, part-time life here.

For those newer to all things Sodor, Dryaw’s a sizable village in the west central part of the Isle.  West and south along the coast are three of the large towns, all easy gets for finer dining.  Just east – estates, B&B’s, wine country.  And so, it’s become a haven for writers, whether for short vacation, extended stays, or even permanent residence.

me Noob’s been hanging and imbibing with his usual pair o’ pals.   American novelist Dan Heck (Google up his books, or even his new blog-archive of all things championships of all kinds) came for the week.  Image result for Doug Barr So did Douglas Barr, costar of 1980’s TV’s “The Fall Guy”.  Actor, writer, director, vintner – we’re all becoming best friends, it’s true.  He brought some of his newly available 2002 “2480 ” cab sav from his Hollywood and Vine Cellars.  Behhhst frehhhhnds.  So, Noob’s got more than a bit of a katzenjammer working as he writes tomorrow’s preview.

Related image Sportsball!   Ok.  Dryaw still lead Knapford by two in the table and Peel Godred by four (Peel’s Sat. result pending).  This, despite being just 1-1-2 their last month.  The road loss last week in the capital against midtable Suddery was a surprise.  Will they re-find their offense again today?  They’ve proven they can win high-and low-scoring affairs alike, but one goal is rarely going to get you any points on the Isle.

Image result for BHFC crest Brendam Harbor won the inaugural FA Cup this past summer, but surprisingly have not followed that up with a strong first PL season.   They’re just 14th in the table.  Being from one of the “main towns” on the Isle, they were certainly considered a league fave even before winning the Cup.

They’re one of the few teams on Sodor that play a reasonable semblance of defense.  They’ve certainly had their share of strong games on that regard, but when teams score much at all against them, the Harbormen have rarely shown they can compete in a shootout.  Motivation may start to become a question.   They’re safe from Relegation, yet have little hope of competing for a top-half table finish.

Noob calls it:      Dryaw  5-1        Dryaw’s been excellent at home, for the most part.   And they’ll be plenty motivated.  They know Knapford and Peel Godred also have home dates this weekend, matches against bottom half teams.