Isle of Sodor Premier League – matchday 31 (4/6-7) – Sun., #1 Dryaw hosts the Bad Boys of East Coast Diesel

Matchday 31 (Sun., 4/7) preview      (Sat.’s match previews precede this post)

#9   Glennock            vs.     #16  Ulfstead
#4   Crovan’s Gate   vs.    #10   Suddery
#5   Kirk Ronan         vs.    #20  Arlesburgh Utd. (5-0 AU)
#13  Marron                vs.     T14  Vicarstown (8-6 M)

plus the Sunday feature match        #1  Dryaw   vs.   T7  East Coast Diesel

Season-long followers of IoS PL coverage might assume Noob simply camped out in Dryaw for yet another week.   It was tempting, this being a little Paris of sorts, an idyllic haven for writers and intellectuals and all sorts of unscrupulous rabble. Image result for Doug Barr me  But my best friends American author Daniel J. Heck and Doug Barr (1980’s TV “The Fall Guy”, screenwriter and vintner) both hopped back across the pond.   Saturday’s feature match was in Brendam, and so there I b&b’ed for the week.

But now Noob’s back, baybeeeeeee.     And the mood in town Noob sensed Saturday night was surely odd.  Naturally, everyone’s riding a wave of elation that Dryaw’s been leading the league for weeks upon weeks.  And they now lead by four – not a huge cushion, but a little margin for error’s been managed.

Yet there’s no mistaking an air of worry here.   Two matchdays weekends ago, E.C.D.  Image result for east coast diesel creststormed back from a 2-6 deficit to earn a draw in the Walney Channel Derby.   This team that had muddled through just an ok season went back to their pre-Premier League identity, as one that plays seriously rough defense.   Remember:  even moderately hard defense has always been considered uncouth historically.

Yes, Dryaw supporters are scared.  Worried about the result, sure.   But terrified of their players getting mauled.  In the second half of that derby two weeks ago, Diesels earned 10 yellow cards in as many minutes.  They then cruised the following matchday to a 4-2 road win over Marron that was not as close as the score indicates.   They even retook their official 2018-19 team photo.   They look haunted and angry.

Image result for mean amateur soccer team photo

So since reclaiming their identity, they’re 1-1-0 and have outscored opponents 8-2 over the last three halves.  Related image   Dryaw, meanwhile, are 2-2 in their last four.   They’ve been more offensively-minded over this stretch, but who knows how many easy chances they’ll be able to muster today now that the Bad Boys are back.

Noob calls it:    I think E.C.D. are going to control the pace.   That said, the FA folks seem none too pleased with Diesels’ re-finding of their brutally physical style.

Noob’s not suggesting they’ve given explicit marching orders to the refs to keep the game Sudric-clean, but some sort of message has gone out.  They’d like to see their unique brand of football take hold and get a little international attention as time goes on.      The call:    2-2

The title race stays scalding hot.

Noob interview with Dryaw FC star striker Christopher Wilbertson. With wine. And authors. Weird again.

Wed., March 28, 2019 – Dryaw, Sodor –

Ah, Dryaw. Noob’s favorite place on the Isle. The village is a haven for writers and intellectuals, and cool as s**t people from Sodor and beyond. I’ve been lingering since last weekend’s Premier League feature match here.

Noob had just finished a meal at Joseph Tidy’s. I’d been dining with my usual suspect-friends – American author me Daniel Heck and 80’s TV Star (“The Fall Guy”), screenwriter and current vintner Doug Barr Image result for Doug Barr — as well as hard science fiction writer and PhD in astrophysics Alastair Reynolds  and his lovely wife Noordwijk. In stumbled a desperately forlorn Christopher Wilbertson – leading scorer and resident nutjob for IoS PL’s #1 Dryaw FC.

2002 Hollywood & Vine Cabernet Sauv 2480 What could be troubling him? Interview time. I excused myself from my dinner companions, swiping the last full bottle of Barr’s Hollywood and Vine Cellars 2002 vintage cab sav ‘2480’ off the table. Heck and Reynolds could argue whether the latter’s space-swashbuckly Revenger was high-end kids lit or straight sci-fi without Noob.

Image result for Alastair Reynolds holding Revenger(For the record, if the protagonist/s is/are young and the plot has no loops and any prominent adult characters are neutered of real power, it’s kid lit.  If no, than not.)

So I waved an already half-sluiced Wilbertson over to another table. He had a small smile for the only journo providing international coverage for Sudric soccer, but slumped upon sitting. Noob filled his glass and C-Dub went on the record:

Wilbertson: Kane may not be in it for the money, but I could surely use a windfall someday. Do you know what we get paid here? Do you even know what the currency of Sodor is?

Noob: Did I somehow miss half a conversation?

Image result for harry kane haley joel osmentWilbertson: Since I'm not as famous as that giant-headed Haley Joel Osment-looking diva, I even kept my dream more realistic than Kane's. I set my sights on the American Alliance of Football.

Noob: Riiiight. I can't believe Harry Kane says he wants to kick in the NFL someday.  [read the ESPN FC article]  Man-crush on Tom Brady has to be big in that equation. So, you were going to shoot for the upstart AAF, a developmental league.

Wilbertson: They're only weeks into their first season and already talking about folding. [Read the ESPN.com article]  Like they didn't know until now the NFLPA might be a little resistant to sending its younger players anywhere else. Pshaw.

Noob: Well, maybe the XFL will have better luck next year than they did in 2001.

Wilbertson: The whowha?

Noob: WWE's Vince McMahon started a league in 2001, was to be all wrestling-esque and fun. But it crapped out after a season.

Wilbertson: I could even play defense in a league like that! You've seen my signature goal-celebrating move.

Noob: The famous Klinsmann Dive you're always trying to recreate.

Wilbertson: Trying? Asshat.

Noob: We can still be friends.

Wilbertson: Just imagine the Dive, but now someone from the other team under me. I can kick and tackle in the fake-Wrestleball. Hope lives!

Noob: They prefer “fixed” to “fake”. And in this XFL incarnation, they're going to try to be a regular old developmental league.

Wilbertson: That sounds like it will be awful.

Noob: It will be.

Wilbertson: You are a bringer of ill news, Noob. Be gone.  Leave the vino.

And so I left Christopher Wilbertson openly weeping into his wine glass, so many other questions still rattling in my skull:

Would this affect his Premier League play going forward?  If so, could it cost Dryaw FC the title?  Did the XFL really plan on being boring as all get-out?  Could I get Doug Barr to put out a kick-ass syrah next growing sesason?  What’s Lee Majors doing now?  How will Noob end this oh-so-strange, meandering interview piece?

Image result for vince mcmahon confused gif

There’s one answered.