’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – MLS, oodles of CONCACAF lead your Wednesday

Midweek time – that means ten matches over three days instead of ten each.

What can Noob say?   There are just so many hours in the day, and we’re expanding, adding great new features soon!

We’ve already added “Noob Sandwich Reviewoobs”.   Scroll back a couple of Tracks to see the first installment.

Also, Noob is slated to appear on the Bros Talking Soccer podcast Sunday.  We’ll keep you posted on when it’s available on the various platforms.   And no, despite being Twitter-familiar with one another, Noob’s is not sure the Bros know what they’re getting into.  It may go very “normally”.  It may be very “Noob”.   God help us either way.

Finally, Isle of Sodor Premier League coverage will begin this weekend!

Noob hasn’t negotiated exclusive rights or anything.  But no one else is covering it, so we WILL.     Noob covered their inaugural FA Cup which ended a couple months ago.  Thought someone more mainstream would grab the baton and cover IoSPL.  Nope.

So Noob’s packing his bags, ready to split some time between here and some of my fave B&B’s and such on Sodor.  It’s going to be….well, it’s going to be content.  Yay!

(Tuesday and Wednesday matches and results follow further down.)

Thursday

No real preview work today.   Real Salt Lake plays for Playoff seeding against eliminated-New England.   Remember, Noobites:  Real Salt Lake means “royal” and we carry no truck with monarchy on our soil.  None!

Wednesday

  1. D.C. United vs. Toronto FC – Major League Soccer

Not only did D.C. do it – climbing back from the Eastern Division basement, but they’ve climbed into a playoff spot (6th place) with three matches to go.  His massive price tag aside, anyone who thought it wouldn’t be worthwhile to get former all-time European great Wayne Rooney was mistaken.

This all said, there are those three matches to go.  They could climb one more spot up the table, but they could get passed by Montreal (just one point back).

How does their schedule compare with Montreal’s?  Defending champs Toronto FC and their last regular season opponents Chicago fire are bad and worse.  Sandwiched in between they’ll host much tougher (#3) NYCFC.  Montreal play Toronto and newly-eliminated from contention New England.  So Noob thinks the difference may come down to can D.C. get at least a home draw against NYCFC.

I’ve only started learning all but the biggest stars’ names here the second half of the season.  If you’re a tenured Noobite, you’ll know Rooney’s right-hand man is Luciano Acosta.   But look for impact from Russell Canouse, a young midfielder who got the only goal their last outing – a massive win over the West’s #1 FC Dallas.  He was rewarded with a slot on the MLS Team of the Week.  Which I hadn’t known was a thing.  Learningess!   (7:00 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:   1-0   D.C. Utd.          Who else by Mr. Worth-Every-Pound Wayne Rooney

Image result for russell canouse

 

 

A ball, for Noob?  Thanks, Russ!

(Now where are Rooney and Lucky Acosta… get some serious signatures up in here.)

 

Canadia vs. U.S.A. – CONCACAF Women’s Championship / World Cup qualification

Actually, but virtue of making this Final, these two have now already qualified for next tear’s WC.  Congrats, gals!   Not that they or anyone are surprised.  They’re ranked #5 and #1 the world.  Only Canadia even allowed a single goal to be scored against them.

Tobin Heath, Megan Rapinoe, Drunk-Disney Alex Morgan — we know the USWNT team some.  So here’s a shoutout to Canadia’s Christine Sinclair.   She’s a veteran, still a superstar, and trails retired U.S. player Abby Wambach by seven for all-time most international goals scored.  That’s men’s or women’s side.

She won’t get seven today.  Canadia may not score here in Frisco (greater Dallas) today.  But her presence gives them a real chance.  Noob still favors the Americans by two, but we could finally see both teams get their first competitive match in a while.   (8:00 PM, FS2)

RESULT:   U.S.A.   0-2         Hail to the victors!

  1. Panama vs. Jamaica – CONCACAF Women’s Championship / World Cup qualification

This match still matters in terms of WC entry.  The winner gets in, the loser gets absolutely none fruit cup.  None at all!  Friscoans (Friscites?) will deny them at all opportunities before the loser goes home.

They’re tanked #62 and #64.  Whichever wins, it’s that team’s first ever time making World Cup.  High drama!   (5:00 PM, FS2)

RESULT:   Jamaica   2-2  /  2-4  PK

Image result for soccer drama

 

 

Real board game.   

Noob just up started the ol’ Christmas list.

  1. Canadia vs. Dominica – CONCACAF Nations League qualification

Double-dip Noob Canadiaian!

All the men’s teams in CONCACAF playing actually “qualify” for Nations League next year.   But the top ten finishers will make the next Gold Cup.  Those are our region’s championships.  There, they’ll join the six teams that made the final six for World Cup qualifying last year.

Canadia should be there.  They’re ranked #7 in all CONCACAF (if only 79th in the world), trailing only #6 Jamaica in terms of teams that have to play this event to make said Gold Cup.

Dominica are in the bottom half of CONCACAF, ranked #177 by FIFA.  In their first match, they got a draw against higher-ranked Suriname.

Noob is so torn!   Two workplaces ago, I worked with a guy both from Canadia and from Dominca.  Both were cool d00dz.  Funny, I’ve forgotten Canadiaian Ty’O’s first name.   Not sure I ever knew Dominican Julie’s last name.  But he was a laugh riot, even without my being able to understand half of what he said in his thick accent.

I remember one time having to help Julie decipher a speeding ticket, one he got for going so far over the speed limit that a court appearance was mandatory.   Ah, memories.

Wait, soccer, what?

  1. Cruzeiro vs. Corinthians – Brazil Cup

It’s the Final of the Copa do Brasil!   Second leg.  Cruziero took the first leg 1-0.

This is especially important compared to so many FA Cups the world over.  For example, in Europe, the winner is typically qualified for the second-tier Europa League.  Not Champions League.  Here, however, the winner gets into Copa Libertadores, S. America’s version of Champions League.

It’s extra super important this year because Brazil’s top league sends only six teams from there into the CL.  And these two traditional powers are somehow down in 10th and 11th place currently.  And the season there is in its home stretch.   This could be both these clubs’ only reasonable shot at CL.   (8:45 PM, Fox Soccer Plus)

RESULT:   Cruzeiro   1-2      Whoopsie!    Listed Cruzeiro as home team.  They were the visitors for today’s second leg.  Congrats, hombres!

Image result for copa do brasil 2018

 

 

Noob’s diggin’on the trophy, too.

  1. CD Aguila vs. Santa Tecla – El Salvador Primera

Aguila are tied for #B with undefeated Alianza.  Santa Tecla lead them both by two points in the table, but have played one more match than Alianza (the best team in the league in reality).

The soccer year here is divided into Apertura and Clausura (first and second-half seasons). Of the two winners, the one with the better aggregate record will qualify for the 2020 CONCACAF Champions League.  The other champion and the runner-up with the better aggregate record will get into the CONCACAF League, a tournament through which teams can qualify for the Champions League.

The three teams listed are way ahead of everyone else here in the Apertura.

RESULT:   Aguila   1-0     Aguila and Alianza are now in a tie for 1st

  1. La Equidad vs. Tolima – Colombia Primera A

In Colombia, the two stages of the season are Apertura and Finalizacion.  The winner of the postseason knockout tournament following each makes the Copa Libertadores.  So it’s not nearly as strong a league as Brazil.  But hey – they’re playing!

Tolima finished 3rd in the Apertura regular season before winning the postseason.  They’re part of a three-way tie for #B.

Leaders La Equidad have been a surprise this Stage, as they were below average during the Apertura.  They still don’t score like the biggest boys.  Noob thinks they’re primed to get upset at home.

RESULT:   Tolima   0-1       There is now a four-way tie for 1st

Image result for insurance team funny

 

A club nicknamed “The Insurance Team” just isn’t destined to stay at the top.

 

 

Tuesday

  1. U.S.A. vs. Peru – international men’s friendly

USMNT lost last week to Colombia 4-2.  It was a match in which they came from behind, but lost in the end.  It’s a very, very young roster, and in particular the backline was raw as could be.  Today, Coach Sarachan is switching back to a veteran, former Premier League goalkeeper – Sporting Kansas City’s Brad Guzan.  Critics argue the team should push nothing but youth.

The inclusion of veteran Michael Bradley is drawing ire from this crowd.   That’s not a defensible stance.  But Noob thinks that there are enough friendlies to go around.  If you want the players to learn, experience against great opponents, is, well, great.  But mixing in some seasoned folks to teach them from their own side, in their own locker room has to be valuable, too.

Today’s match is being held at UCONN’s soccer field, an oft-used venue for USMNT.  The two teams here are ranked #22 and #21 by FIFA.  Peru just finished pounding Chile 3-0 at the Hard Rock venue in Miami.  That team is ranked #12.    (7:30 PM EST, ESPN2)

RESULT:   1-1        U.S. looked decent when pressing forward.  When they could maintain possession at all.

Image result for too much america

 

 

Noob doesn’t get it.

Get to the footyball matches any way you can, Amuricuh.

B.  Mexico vs. Chile – international men’s friendly

And Mexico’s is ranked 15th, so it’s another quality matchup!  On paper.   That 0-3 loss was telling, and what it turns out it tells us is that Chile did not bring its top stars.    It’s being held at Liga MX club FC Queretaro’s home stadium in

But that’s okay, we’re here to support our CONCACAF neighbors.  Raul Jimenez scored the winning penalty kick-goal for Mexico in their last outing over Costa Rica.   This match will feature a lot of youth on both sides of the ball, so we’re not expecting a ton of goals, but perhaps another dramatic finish just the same.   (9:45 PM, Unimas)

RESULT:   0-1   Chile          The visitors score at 90′ in what was a pretty even match

Image result for mexican neighbors funny

 

Noob’s not going political on this site.  Just not in my ken.

But it seems a border wall might be susceptible to a Ned Flanders attack.

  1. France vs. Germany – UEFA Nations League

Groups of three, top finisher only from each advance to the Playoffs.   This is a League A matchup, meaning these two are from one of the Groups that are ranked by UEFA in top dozen.

They’ve both played two of their four matches.  Germany have yet to score, though they still earned a draw in one of those games.  France lead the Netherlands by a point in the table.

These two teams are ranked as tied for #1 and #12, respectively, in the world by FIFA.   Noob’s becoming less convinced those numbers matter in this tournament.

This is a new event, one designed to add some meaning to parts of the calendar that were previously filled with simply international friendlies.  It’s a pathway to getting into the 2020 European Championships, but that may not be motivating teams of this caliber.  They’re almost certainly going to be there no matter how they do here.   (2:45 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   France   2-1      Antoine Griezmann with both goals for the home side in the come-from-behind win

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – USMNT, El Tri lead the way

Noob’s had to quick-and-dirty the Thursday mini-previews.   My new work sched continues to wreak havoc with my sleep sched.  It os, of course, the fault of The Management.

Um, Noob?  That’s your “real” job.  The only sched I try to keep you to is the one related to taking your clearly under-dosing head-meds.

Just because you’re right, The Management, doesn’t mean you don’t need to pipe down.

Tuesday and Wednesday match results follow further down now.

To arms!

Thursday

  1. U.S.A. vs. Columbia – men’s international friendly

#22 and #14-ranked in world by FIFA, facing off for the nineteenth time since 1961.  Americans have one just four.

After the U.S. failed to qualify for World Cup, new, interim coach Sarachan has been mixing in a lot of youth.  This may be a particularly challenging evening for the U.S. on the defensive side.  Three of the backline players are getting their first USMNT experience tonight.

With top offensive threat Christian Pulisic out with an injury, the player to watch may be his fill-in.  Fafa Picualt played six years for Italian club Cagliari before returning stateside where he has remained.  He currently stars for the Philadelphia Union.   (7:30 PM EST, FS1)

RESULT:   Colombia   2-4         The U.S. actually fought back to take a 2-1 lead after falling behind 0-1.

  1. Mexico vs. Costa Rica – men’s international friendly

#15 hosts #37.   Mexico is mixing in a lot of youth as well.  They made the world cup, and even had a win over Germany.  Still, they feel it’s time for something of a changing of the guard as well.

A couple interesting side notes on this one.   Mexico typically prefers to play the in the U.S. (which they just did) as much as possible during the annual international break during October.   They sell an absolute crapton of tickets.

Also, this is the first time in three years their men’s team has played a friendly anywhere but Mexico City.   This match will be at club team UANL Tigres’ stadium in Monterrey.   (9:30 PM, Univision)

RESULT:   Mexico   3-2

  1. Costa Rica vs. Canadia – CONCACAF Women’s Championship / World Cup qualification

Canadia the second Group of four clubs here in the Group Stage.  Heading into this last match, they haven’t mathematically wrapped up a top-two finish, which would send them to the Knockout Stage.  But they’re 2-0 and have outscored opponents 14-0.  They’re going.

To not make it, they’d have to lose by 8+ today.  it’s more likely to be the other way around.  Also, Jamaica would have to beat Cuba by 15+.  Given how awful Cuba’s team is (outscored 0-20 so far), that’s not an impossibility.

Costa Rica and Jamaica are tied on points in the table, but C.R. lead by eight on tie-breaking GD.  These two are ranked #34 and #5, respectively, by FIFA.   (Edinburgh, TX – 10:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   Canadia   1-3

  1. Israel vs. Scotland – UEFA Nations Cup

UEFA’s newest league returns!   Noob is pressed for time at this hour, so Noobites will want to do a site search (or span the interwebs) for some details on this tournament, what and why it is.

These two are in League C of this event.  32 men’s national teams ranked above them are playing in A and B.  The three-team Group they’re assigned to within their League also features Albania.  They’re playing a double-round-robin.  The winner will get promoted to League B for next year, provided UEFA decides to continue with this event.

Scotland beat Albania 2-0 in their first and only match so far.  Israel lost to Albania 0-1.  FIFA ranks them #94 and #39, respectively.  In Europe they may be close-ish together ordinally, but that’s quite a gulf really.  Israel should consider it a moral victory if they can keep with a goal of the Scots.

RESULT:   Israel   2-1      Come from behind upset

Wednesday

  1. Trinidad and Tobago vs. U.S.A. – CONCACAF Women’s Championships / World Cup qualification

Teams are now heading into their last matches of this Group Stage.  The world #1-ranked U.S. women have already advanced to the Knockout Stage, outscoring their two opponents so far 11-0.  T&T carried the third-best FIFA-ranking (#52) in this group of four, but are already eliminated.  They’ve been outscored 7-1.

This match will not be competitive.  But that doesn’t mean it won’t be a treat to watch!   Catch the blowout in Cary, NC on FS1 at 7:30 PM EST tonight.

RESULT:   U.S.A.   0-7       Ms. Morgan and Rose Lavelle with two goals apiece

Image result for Alex Morgan drunkLadies, keep Alex Morgan from trying to catch a flight to Orlando to celebrate after.

(Kicked out of Disney World last year, drunk and screaming.)

 

(Google you up some particulars on this 2017 gem of a story at your convenience, Noobites.)

  1. Panama vs. Mexico – CONCACAF Women’s Championships / World Cup qualification

Now this one is a lot more meaningful.  Only the top two advance to the Knockout Stage, and these two are in the same Group as the teams above.

#66 Panama and #24 Mexico are knotted up at three points each.  Panama leads on goal differential by one teeny tiny goal.  If they draw tonight, Panama gets the surprise berth in the next Round.  Meanwhile, the Mexican women will wear the sad pants.  No World Cup.   (5:00 PM, FS2)

RESULT:    Panama   2-0       They’ll still have to win a match in two tries in the Knockout Round to earn a bid to World Cup.   But what a year for Panama!    First, their men’s team makes their first-ever WC, and now the ladies are on the doorstep.

Image result for wearing the sad pants

 

 

What does Noob mean by “the sad pants”?

Let’s address more important pants-questions first.

  1. Cruziero vs. Corinthians – Copa do Brazil

Brazil’s FA Cup has reached its Final!   This is the first match of a home and away two-legged tie for the title.  The winner automatically qualifies for next year’s Copa Libertadores (S. America’s version of Champions League).

This should be fiercely fought.  These are storied clubs, but neither is nearly high enough in their league table to qualify for CL without this title.  Both have struggled mightily to score all season, leaving them in 9th and 11th place, respectively.

Cruziero just fell to Argentinian Boca Juniors in the current CL, managing just one goal in the two matches.  And Juniors aren’t even playing that well in their own league this year.  Corinthians haven’t scored a goal since three outings ago.  It may be a defensive slog, but the action is available on Fox Soccer Plus at 8:45 PM.

RESULT:   Cruziero   1-0

Tuesday

  1. Louisville FC vs. North Carolina FC – United Soccer League

No MLS matches these three days, so we turn to the second division for our fix of American league action.  None of the matches over the Midweek feature playoff-slotted (top eight in conference) clubs.   So instead we have a Hiccup Watch.

Defending champs Louisville are currently #B in the East, which should be good for two home postseason matches.  They’ve scored 14 goals in their last four matches, of which three were on the road.

North Carolina are down in 10th.  But they should be plenty motivated – only two points behind 8th-place New York Red Bulls II.  And their GD is positive, even higher than Indy Eleven’s, and that club is in 4th!

So, we Track to see if Louisville can avoid having a Hiccup here, potentially falling behind Pittsburgh.

RESULT:   L’ville   2-1      Come-from-behind win for the favorites.  Cameron Lancater with two second half goals.

B.  Monterrey vs. Queretaro – Copa MX

Second-tier Juarez lost here in the Quarterfinals Round, so we’re down to all Liga MX clubs.   The winner of this last QF match will face 11th-in-the-league Pachuca in the Semis.

Monterrey and Queretaro are 6th and 8th-place in the league currently.  Given that only the top eight teams make the league’s postseason tournament, Noob is forced to wonder if Queretaro will partially or completely rest some starters.  League seems to always trump club in importance, anywhere you go.

On the other hand, Monterrey have been on a skid of late.  They’ve only won once in their last six matches across all competitions.   This could be a wild match and Noob dares not make any kind of prediction.

But guess who would?!   Resident prognosticator Noobstradamus has had a Vision.    Lay it on us unseeing mortals, oh, ancient one.

RESULT:   Monterrey   1-0        Guess it was the raw goat meat and cervezas after all, eh, Noobstradamus?

Image result for Noobstradamus

 

 

I am, indeed, older than dirt.   Thanks for the reminder.  But the setting of my Vision regarding this game was set in modern Monterrey. 

 

I was jamming with famous local alt-rock band Plastina Mosh, right on the Santa Lucia Riverwalk.  We were pounding out “los Oxidados” – the opening song from “Mr. & Mrs. Smith”.  I was on bongos, extending that instrumentation beyond the traditional intro and wailing away throughout!

Suddenly Jonás and the boys shifted into a slow, surprisingly sad, nameless norteño tune.  The bongos didn’t belong in this.  I shrugged my silent question of why at Alejandro.  A tear ran down his eye as he nodded towards the drum kit.  The bass drum now had painted on it “Queretaro 1-2”.

It was a powerful seeing, one I trust completely.  Except that I vaguely remember pounding Tecates the night before, and partaking in what was surely undercooked cabrito.   I often confuse food-related illness-born hallucinations  and Visions.  No one’s perfect.

OhhhhKAY.   While we try to ourselves divine what the fruit THAT was, please enjoy a musical interlude.  “Los Oxidados!”

  1. Switzerland vs. Belgium – UEFA Women’s World Cup qualification

The Group Stage is done and the winners of those seven pods of four have qualified for World Cup next year.  The top four second-place finishers from that round now start competing for one final berth.

So in these semifinal “Playoff Rounds”, the series will be two-legged ties, home and away.  Switzerland carried the higher FIFA ranking (#18), but they’re hosting this first leg.  Belgium aren’t far behind with a #23 ranking.  But given the lack of parity often seen in the women’s game, the Swiss should be considered a full-goal favorite today.

RESULT:   1-1       The two-legged tie ends 3-3.  Switzerlands advances on away-goals tiebreaker!

Wednesday and Thursday

coming soon!

 

’10 to Track’ Weekend Edition soccer matches – all the best from America, Mexico, UEFA, CAF CL

It won’t belong now until the big European leagues are in full swing and Noob likely expands back to doing separate Tracks for Saturday and Sunday.

For this weekend though, the ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game – the best from our soccer perspective span both days.

That’s my way of saying these weekend is all trim meat, Noobites.  Slice of piece of the grade-A soccer.

  1. Sporting Kansas City vs. FC Dallas – Major League Soccer

KC spent most of the first half of the season leading the Western Conference, but now Dallas is on top (and LAFC is #B).  The difference.  KC has given up two or more goals in five straight matches, not winning any of them.

Dallas, meanwhile, have only conceded four in their last five games.   (And they won the one where they allowed multiple goals.)  Dallas’ defense is only surpassed league-wide by New York Red Bulls.  Jesse Gonzalez is their netminder and a title run is likely If he keeps playing at this level.   (8:00 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:   Dallas   2-3     Michael Barrios with all three Dallas goals

Image result for Jesse Gonzalez FC Dallas

 

Jesse likes cold drinks, hot Texas nights, and wearing Mickey Mouse goalie gloves on dates.

His number is…

B.  Montreal Impact vs. Atlanta United – Major League Soccer

And now to the East!

Impact haven’t lost in their last seven times out, pushing into the Playoff picture (5th place).  Noob’s betting they won’t stay there.  Their defense has been more than suspect on the season, though better lately.  It’s helped them into two four-game losing streaks in 2018 so far.

Atlanta are #1, and that’s some tough business with both New York teams breathing down their necks.  Josef Martinez is their offensive star.  Noob mentions him again because he scored all three scores in their last match and win against D.C. United!   (7:00 PM, ESPN+, Fox Sports Southeast)

RESULT:   Atlanta   1-2    Ueber-star Josef Martinez with two goals

Image result for letter B star

 

Number B thinks himself a star.

But has he replaced numeral 2 in your hearts?

He should.

  1. Benfica vs. Juventus – International Champions Cup

Fans at Red Bull Arena certainly have been hoping to see Italian league champs’ new acquisition in action – world’s greatest Cristiano Ronaldo.   Sadly, he won’t be involved today though.  Benfica had won four Portuguese Primeira titles in a row before missing the mark last year.

It’s hard to handicap events in this tournament, since reserves may start or get substantial playing time as teams tune up for domestic leagues with the friendlies that make up this tournament.  Both teams won the first of the three matches they’ll each play in this event.   (1:00 PM, ESPN2)

RESULT:   Juventus   1-1  /  2-4 pk

  1. Chicago Red Stars vs. Sky Blue FC – National Women’s Soccer League

New Jersey’s Sky Blue FC have lost four in a tow and have yet to win a match all season.  They’ve allowed a dozen goals in their last for matches, all losses.

Despite losing only once in their last seven outings, Chicago are in 5th place, just outside the Playoff picture.  A likely win today will vault then all the way to 3rd though.

Sky Blue FC forward Nadia Nadim (9) celebrates her goal against the Houston Dash.

 

SBFC’s Nadia Nadim celebrates a goal.

Maybe someday she’ll get to celebrate a W.

  1. CF America vs. Atlas – Liga MX

Atlas is the city of Guadalajara’s “other team”, as the headliners there are Club Deportivo Guadalajara (Chivas).  Last Clausura (second half-season), Atlas actually outperformed their rivals.  That said, the two were just 15th and 17th place, respectively.

Liga MX is just starting it’s 2017-18 season.  But if things remain similar to last year, America’s defense should be able to get the three points today.   (8:00 PM, Univision)

RESULT:   CFA   3-0    Guido Rodriguez nets a pair

  1. Wydad Casablanca vs. Horoya AC – CAF Champions League

Ah, Wydad, Noob’s Moroccan favorite!  Only club I’ve found named for an actress/singer.  Or either one.  If either is a fan of the sport, maybe someday we’ll have a Club Timberlake or Joe Jonas FC…

Aaaanyway, Wydad are the defending champions of Africa’s CL.  Horoya qualified out of the unheralded top-flight league in Guinea. This event is in its Group Stage.  These two and South Africa’s Mamelodi Sundowns are all tied for 1st out of the four teams in this Group.  Also, they all earned just draws against one another in their first matches in the Round Robin. After tiebreakers, the table goes Sundowns, Horoya, Wydad.

On paper, there shouldn’t be any reasonable way to expect Horoya to compete with Wydad.  But they play the matches on grass, not paper.  That would be weird and crumply-noisy probably.   (3:00 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:    Wydad   2-0

Image result for paper soccer players

 

 

 

What witchcraft is this??

 

 

Sunday

  1. U.S.A. vs. Australia – Tournament of Nations

To whom can Noob write a strongly-worded letter about the boring and yet still misleading name for this event?  It’s not wrong, but there are just four teams participating.  Granted, these are really good national teams.

And so, reminder:  This is essentially a tournament of glorified friendlies.  With Women’s World Cup next year, this can be considered a tune-up for that.  They’re playing a round robin, no additional round.

#1 FIFA-ranked U.S.A. beat #6 Japan 4-2 in their first match, in which Alex Morgan netted a hat trick (three goals).  #8 Australia (“the Matildas”) pulled the minor upset over #7 Brazil 3-1 in theirs.  Those matches were in Kansas City.  Both matches today are being played in East Hartford Connecticut, at UConn’s home field.   (7:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   1-1

  1. North Carolina Courage vs. Lyon – women’s International Champions Cup

Another four-team event, all matches being played at Miami Gardens.  Noob doesn’t know enough yet to say that NC’s victory over Paris Saint-Germain was an upset or now.  Courage are easily the best American women’s team.  PSG is the secondary power in perhaps Europe’s top league.

Today, NCC get the real test.  Lyon as won three straight World Cup’s, and their own league 12 straight seasons.  Noon suspect’s the Courage will need even more than a career day from Alex Morgan.  Their other big star is Rapinoe, who also scored in the win over PSG.   (9:00 PM, ESPN2)

RESULT:   Courage   1-0

Image result for alex morgan funny

 

 

And when you score three goals in a match, you can rock whatever coif you want.  Right, Ms. Morgan?

  1. L.A. Galaxy vs. Orlando City – Major League Soccer

At time of this writing, Real Salt Lake is in action.  By the time some of reading this, they may have passed the Galaxy for 4th.  No matter what happens there, what a turnaround it’s been for the home team today.

Noob featured the Galaxy on Thursday.  “El Trafico” – the intracity rivalry match with LAFC – ended 2-2.  LAFC stormed back with two very late goals.  Will Zlatan & Co. be able to rev up after that derby?

Will it matter?  9th-place Orlando stink out loud.  This is good, right and appropriate.  The Management and Noob consider it a priority to espouse the evils of bad urban planning.  Nothing – NOTHING – good can ever come from building a city on a swamp.   (9:30 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   Galaxy   4-3

  1. UANL vs. Tijuana – Liga MX

It’s early in this league’s new season.  These are two teams that made last year’s playoffs for the Clausura (second-half season).  OK.

What Noob really can’t stop thinking about is how embarrassed I should be about the fact that I didn’t know until I started covering soccer that Tijuana is spelled without an A before the J.  That pronunciation is cited as common and perfectly acceptable.  Still, Noob feels more shame heaped upon shame.  Just thought I would’ve picked up that there was a phantom sound in there long before now.   (7:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Tigres   1-0

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Use the phrase “chromosomally-challenged”.    It’s more PC.

  1. Cruziero vs. Sao Paulo – Brazil Serie A

To be a truly knowledgeable soccer citizen of the world. gotta follow Brazil.  South America’s best.  Sorry, Argentina.

Six clubs from here will qualify automatically for the Copa Libertadores Group Stage next year.  Cruziero are in 6th now, despite struggling a little on offense for a top club.  Noob would say their just-OK defense won’t make up for that lack, but they had similar stat lines a year ago and finished 5th.

Sao Paulo just keep continuing to surprise.  They’re #B in the league now, after a dismal 13th-place finish last year.  They’ve shored up their defense some.  Not enough to maintain a spot quite this high in the table for the whole season, but they sure look CL-bound at the very least.    (3:00 PM, Premiere Futebol Clube)

RESULT:   Sao Paulo   0-2

  1. MLS Homegrown vs. UANL U20 – MLS All-Star week

The MLS All-Star game will be on Aug. 1 in Atlanta.  This game is a lead-in, and in some ways maybe the more interesting affair.

Noob’s not exactly sure how MLS defines a “homegrown” player.  Could mean that the player is a U.S. native, or refer to anyone who came through an MLS soccer youth academy.  Or both, or neither, or involve some other variable.  Think I’m on the right track though, roughly.

They’ll be taking on UANL Tigres Under-20 team, their Mexican league’s champions.   This is matchup is part of a broad, multi-year partnership effort between America and Mexico to promote and develop the youth game.

Players to watch and who have been in this before are Kellyn Acosta from FC Dallas, New York Red Bulls’ Tyler Adams, and Justen Glad who plays for Real Salt Lake.   (8:30 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   1-1    Mexican kid got a red card at 78′, just a minute after his team got the equalizer.

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So long, from Noob and ATL soccer fan Lil Jon.

A-what?  Okay.