’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Tuesday (5/8) – US Open Cup leading the way

Wednesday in particular is going to be SO chock full of exceptional matches that Noob is expanding the usual three-day, one-post Midweek Edition into three full days!

I’ll wait for the applause to die down.

OK, splendid.  Onward and upward to the ten most important matches for us, the newish Americans fans of the global game – to follow!

  1. Portland Timbers U23 vs. Kitsap Pumas – U.S. Open Cup

It’s not so much that this one particular match is “important”, but Noob felt it was past time to post that the event had started.  And it’s the only match from the event today.

This is America’s FA Cup.  Competing are the 20 US-based MLS clubs, 22 of the second-division USL teams.  Also in – through qualification rounds – are 41 teams from the unofficial fourth tier (there is no “third tier”) NPSL and PDL and 13 from local amateur leagues.

Kitsap (Bremerton, WA) are here from the Northwest Conference of the NPDL, winners of the playoffs there.  Portland’s most seasoned youth squad won the Northwest Division playoffs in the PDL to get in.  This is the First Round.  The winner will take on Reno 1868 out of the USL.

Noobstradamus Sees:  Nothing.  I have a policy of not prognosticating when kiddins are involved.

RESULT:   PTU23   5-0

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Only madness can ensue from such.

B.  Swansea City vs. Southampton – English Premier

Probably about a quarter billion pounds on the line.  Two matches to go, and these two are tied in the table for 17th.  Southampton lead on GD.  Bottom three of the 20 clubs get Relegated to the second tier Championship League next season, so they’re straddling that line.

Swansea haven’t won a match since early March.  Southampton actually have a win and a draw in their last two games.   (2:45 PM Eastern, NBCSN)

Noobstradamus Sees:   1-1.  More tension!

RESULT:   Southampton   0-1   And with that, West Brom are now Relegated along with Stoke City.  One more to be determined.

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Number B, adding to the tension and high drama.

  1. Les Herbiers vs. Paris Saint-Germain – Coupe de France

Minnow madness!   Les Herbiers are from the third tier of French football.  And they’re on the edge of being Relegated down another level this season.  Yet here they are!   Technically, this is at a neutral site, but only in that it is not on PSG’s home pitch.  But it is in Paris.   (3:05 PM, beIN Sports)

Noobstradus Sees:   I’m not telling!  Because I want to be wrong.  PSG are tops in all France.

RESULT:   PSG   0-2

  1. Aberdeen vs. Rangers – Scottish Premier

Two matches to go, and these two are #B and #3, separated in the table by just a point.  Hibernian lurk just two more points back, looking to steal one of their Europa League bids should either falter.

Noobstradamus Sees:   Aberdeen 2-0        Rangers are going to be a mess, as their going through a late-season managerial change.

RESULT:   1-1

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Falling off a cliff will mess up a Ranger as well.

  1. Buriram United vs. Jeonbuk – AFC Champions League

It’s the Round of 16, first leg.  These two are entrants from the #9 and #4 leagues in Asia.  Noob’s doubtful either can reach beyond the next round, so let’s pay them attention while we can.

Noobstradamus Sees:   Jeonbuk 1-2     The top leagues in Asia are simply much better.

RESULT:   Buriram   3-2

  1. Al-Ain vs. Al-Duhail – AFC Champions League

Your undercard today from this tournament is a tough one to handicap.  Al-Ain – from UAE – only snuck in because the qualifying 3rd-place team from the top league there last year merged with a different club.  They have to exist as they are for three years to be eligible.

Duhail are here by virtue of winning last year’s top league in Qatar.

Noobstradamus Sees:   The crystal ball is cloudy.  Either there’s not enough of a sample size with Al-Ain to know how good they might be, or I need to find some Windex.

RESULT:   Duhail   2-4

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Crazy-bad merger idea

  1. Debrecen vs. Puskas FK Academy – Hungary FA Cup

These two mid-table teams from Hungary’s top division are facing off in a Semifinal.  Puskas took the first leg 4-0.

Noobstradamus Sees:   Puskas 1-3     Until their last match, they’d been in a seven-match unbeaten streak.  Debrecen have been going the opposite way.

RESULT:   Debrecen   2-0    But Puskas advance on aggregate, 4-2.

  1. Cobh Ramblers vs. Longford Town – League of Ireland Cup

This is not the country’s FA Cup.  Rather, mostly only teams from the top two divisions complete.  They invite a few lower division and even junior teams sometimes to round things out.  This is a Quarterfinal, featuring two second-tier sides.  They are #8 and #6 in their league, respectively.

Noobstradamus Sees:  Longford  0-1!   Apparently Rambling doesn’t involve scoring much, but Cobh hasn’t much all season.

RESULT:   Cobh   2-0

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[insert self-deprecating joke about Noob’s own rambling HERE]

  1. Atletico MG vs. San Lorenzo – Copa Sudamericana

It seems odd to Noob these two would be meeting in the First Stage.  These are the top two entrants from South America’s top two countries, Brazil and Argentina.   Maybe it’s a completely random draw.  Weirdness.  Also, it’s the only one of the three matches from this event today not televised on a network one might get here in America.  More weirdness.

Aaaanywho, this is South America’s equivalent of Europa League.  San Lorenzo won the first leg 1-0.

Noobstradamus Sees:  …this very even matchup ending as it should.  Atletico 1-0. then winning it in PK’s.

RESULT:   0-0    San Lorenzo advances on aggregate, 1-0.

  1. Al Quwa Al Jawiya vs. Al Ahed – AFC Cup

This isn’t really analogous to Europa League, other than that this is a secondary tournament to the AFC Champions League.  Top teams from leagues in what their confederation has deemed “developing soccer countries” play in this one.

AQAJ – out of the Iraqi Premier – have won the last two years.   They are also the defending champions of AFC’s #11 league.  Ahed are undefeated this year in the Lebanese Premier (league #21).

Noobstradamus Sees:  Nothin’.  Qawa Jawiya are messing with the Scrabble-part of my prognosticating brain.

RESULT:   AQAJ   3-1

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So long from Iraq, Noobites!

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Relegation Monday! (4/2) – Embrace the suckitude

Noob’s greatest joy is to filter and bring to light the ten most important matches for new-ish American fans every day or week-part.  Mondays, in the afterglow of superhot action around the world, the schedules get a bit thinner.

Instead of taking respite, no!  We primarily put our focus on teams possibly about to get Relegated, booted to lower divisions, perhaps never to see the light of Premier day again.  Enjoy the likely end of these clubs’ halcyon days, embrace their suckitude.

  1. Sunderland vs. Sheffield Wednesday – English Championship

Sunderland aren’t out of time, but they’re getting there.  Seven matches left to go in the tier-two league season and they’re in second-to-last, five points deep in the Relegation Zone.  Hosting a below-average SW team (17th place) is a great chance for them to pick up three points.

Fun Fact:   Sunderland’s “black cats” nickname may be a reference to an artillery base from Napoleonic times – “the black cat battery”.

RESULT:   Sheffield Wednedsday   1-3     SW moved to 9th, just a couple points out of the last Promotion Playoff slot.

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Janet Jackson, getting perhaps a bit too into that fellow’s guitar playing during a performance of “Black Cat”.

B.  Asteras Tripolis vs. Platanias – Greek Super League

Platanias are so deep in last place they can’t see the sun.   They’ve only won or drawn in six matches all season, less than half of the next-worst club.  Tripolis is pretty average, but should handle business at home.

Fun Fact:  Platanias are from Chania, one of the four regional areas of Crete, informally and simply referred to locally as “western Crete”.

RESULT:   Tripolis   4-0

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Iconographic, Greek Number B.

  1. Olimpo vs. Temperley – Argentina Premier

These two are the better of the four in the multi-year Relegation Zone, could actually climb out.   But neither is playing like they will, being in the bottom three this season.  (6:00 PM Easterm TyC Sports International)

Fun Fact:  Olimpo’s home city of Bahia Blanca is the leading city in the country in basketball.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Pogon Szczecin vs. Slask Wroclaw – Poland Ekstraklasa

Poland’s top league soon divides into title playoff and relegation-playout divisions.  These two are far enough down that they cannot avoid the latter.

Fun Fact:  OK, not “fun”, but interesting perhaps: Szczecin was founded by Poles who were moved west in the country after the Soviet Union took over eastern parts of the country in 1945.

RESULT:   Szczecin   3-2

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They must be good guys, looks like they got chosen for House Gryffindor to Noob.

  1. Poli Timisoara vs. Sepsi OSK – Romania Liga I

This league as divided as well.  The bottom two get Relegated, while the next team up has to play another playoff with a second-tier team.  Timisoara hold the latter position.  Sepsi are in last.

Fun Fact:  Timisoara is co-owned by the local university, city and county governments.

RESULT:   2-2

  1. Septemvri Sofia vs. Etar – Bulgaria First League

Bulgaria’s league goes an extra step for Relegation.   Right now, the bottom eight teams are playing in two four-team divisions.  The bottom two from each will then play a bracketed Relegation playout toiurnament.  Septemvri are high enough up in 2nd place that they should be safe.  Etar is in last in their Group, definitely bound for the Playout.

Fun Fact:  Septemvri’s home pitch isn’t good enough for official matches, so those get played at fellow league team Bistrista’s field.

RESULT:   S.Sofia   1-0

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New Septemvri Stadium is being built.  This is an artist’s rendering.

  1. Sport Boys Warnes vs. Aurora – Bolivia Premier

Aurora were promoted to Bolivia’s top division this year.  It’s early, but they’re in position to get possibly booted right back down.  The last-place finisher will go automatically, second-to-last (Aurora, right now) will have a playoff with a second-tier team.

Fun Fact:  Aurora are from Cochabamba, a mountain valley city where it’s springlike all the time, and so is known as “the City of Eternal Spring”.

RESULT:   Aurora   1-2    It’s a Relegation Monday miracle!  Aurora jump to 8th in the aggregate table, well out of danger.  For now.

And now for your non-Relegation pleasure —

  1. Esteghlal vs. Al-Rayyan – AFC Champions League

The Group stage of qualification continues for Asia’s premier club tournament.  The top two from each Group of four will qualify out of this round.

These two teams are tied for first, but with two matches to go at least one could be caught by 3rd-place Al-Ain.  The Iranian hosts today are probably as good as the best MLS teams, to give an idea of quality.  Qatar’s visiting side should be about a goal underdog today.

RESULT:   Esteghlal   2-0

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  1. Young Boys vs. Basel – Swiss Super League

Young Boys of Bern are running away with the title.  But the league is strong enough that it gets two berths into next year’s Champions League.  Basel are #B, but ahead of 3rd-place St. Gallen by only three points.  This match is best offense versus best defense.  YBB should be able to control the pace.

RESULT:   2-2

  1. Wacker Innsbruck vs. Weiner Neustadt – Austria First League

For a change on a Monday, Noob had some solid choices for featured matches today.  But I’m still 12 years old in some ways, couldn’t help but include this one.   It’s the Weiner-Wacker derby!

OK, they almost certainly don’t call it that in Austria.  Still, enjoy.  Weiner is tied for 1st and in line for one of the two auto-promotion slots for their Bundesliga.  Wacker Innsbruck is in 3rd, which would have them playing a bottom-rung top-tier team for a chance at promotion themselves.

RESULT:   Innsbruck   2-0    Wacker tops weiner.

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Truth?  Maybe.

Depends on the admission price.

 

 

Honoroable mention:  Qabala vs. Sumqayit (Azerbaijan Premier, #B vs. #3), Ismaily vs. El Zamalek (Egypt Premier, #B vs. #3), Al Ahly vs. Tanta (Egypt Premier, #1 vs. Relegation candidate #16), Racing de Casablanca vs. Wydad Casablanca (Morocco Botola Pro, last place vs. #7 and defending CAF Champions League winner), Sport Huancayo vs. Academia Cantolao (Peru Premier, #B vs. #3 in league Group B)