Feburary 9 -Toryreck, Sodor
The Championship League match between Toryreck and Cabalnoo slated for Sunday, Feb. 10 has been postponed until Monday night (6:45 PM local time).
This rescheduling is, of course, contingent upon Farmer Skillicorn being willing to rustle up his rampaging dairy cows. Again.
Skillicorn operates the biggest dairy on the Isle. Whenever there’s a milk protest somewhere in the world, he shows solidarity by letting his massive herd of cows loose on the local village. Players and fans alike stay indoors for safety, praying to whatever god they believe in. So what was the catalyst this time?
“I’m John Skillicorn, and I approve of this message of bovine terror.”
Over in Italy, Sardinian dairy farmers surrounded Cagliari FC’s training facility today. Most players locked themselves inside. The prevailing thought is the farmers just wanted Cagliari to show their support by boycotting their Sunday match with AC Milan. Milk prices in Italy had plummeted in recent days.
[Click here for the “Sports Illustrated” coverage of the Serie A story.]
Two players participated in kicking over milk barrels. The team’s flight to Milan was delayed, but that match will go on as scheduled tomorrow.
As for Toryreck vs. Cabalnoo — it’s on for Monday.
That’s provided Skillicorn doesn’t just move the cows over onto the local pitch. Again.
1. Barcelona vs. Chapaecoense – Joan Gamper Trophy
Annual Barcelona-hosted preseason game for a trophy named after a GUY named Joan. One to watch just for the chance at an explanation on that gender-bender.
B. Shamrock Rovers vs. Cork – Irish FA Cup
Cork has lost one game in league all season. This is a semifinal.
3. Galway vs. Dundalk – Irish FA Cup
Dudalk should win handily, even on the road, for the right to lose to Cork 11-0 in the Final. Slainte! Christopher Nolan should make a movie about it since true protagnist-free Dunkirk stunk like this commentary…*bonnnnnnngggggg*
4. Djurgardens vs. Malmo – Swedish Allsvenskan
I may just call every country’s top-flite league “Premier” eventually. Talk American, world!
I think Allsvenskan translates to “All-Skate”. Everyone MUST skate. Childhood rink memories flood in.
5. Osijek vs. Rijeka – Croatian Perv League
It’s The Croatian First League, HT Prva league for sponsorship reasons. The Noob gets no kuna, so it’s the Perv League now.
(Last season’s #4 hosts defending league champ)
6. Mlada Boselov vs. Slavia Prague – Czech First League
Last season’s #4 hosts defending league champ
7. FC Astana vs. Ordabasy Shymkent – Kazakhstan Premier League
Astana leads this this two-horse league. O.S. stands at third.
8. BJMC vs. Abahani Chittabong – Bangladesh Premier League
I had a college roommate from Bangladesh named Wafiul. He didn’t like to give my hot redhead girlfriend and me privacy. We’re not in touch.
9. Fenerbahce vs. Cagliari – Club Friendly
Turkish vs Italian sides
10. Steinbach vs. Cologne – Club Friendly
Some Tier Three-or-worse team that must be geographically near Cologne hosts Cologne, who are warming up for the Bundesliga by storming small towns for soccer goals and Tier Three birddogging of players’ girlfriends.