1. Barcelona vs. Chapaecoense – Joan Gamper Trophy
Annual Barcelona-hosted preseason game for a trophy named after a GUY named Joan. One to watch just for the chance at an explanation on that gender-bender.
B. Shamrock Rovers vs. Cork – Irish FA Cup
Cork has lost one game in league all season. This is a semifinal.
3. Galway vs. Dundalk – Irish FA Cup
Dudalk should win handily, even on the road, for the right to lose to Cork 11-0 in the Final. Slainte! Christopher Nolan should make a movie about it since true protagnist-free Dunkirk stunk like this commentary…*bonnnnnnngggggg*
4. Djurgardens vs. Malmo – Swedish Allsvenskan
I may just call every country’s top-flite league “Premier” eventually. Talk American, world!
I think Allsvenskan translates to “All-Skate”. Everyone MUST skate. Childhood rink memories flood in.
5. Osijek vs. Rijeka – Croatian Perv League
It’s The Croatian First League, HT Prva league for sponsorship reasons. The Noob gets no kuna, so it’s the Perv League now.
(Last season’s #4 hosts defending league champ)
6. Mlada Boselov vs. Slavia Prague – Czech First League
Last season’s #4 hosts defending league champ
7. FC Astana vs. Ordabasy Shymkent – Kazakhstan Premier League
Astana leads this this two-horse league. O.S. stands at third.
8. BJMC vs. Abahani Chittabong – Bangladesh Premier League
I had a college roommate from Bangladesh named Wafiul. He didn’t like to give my hot redhead girlfriend and me privacy. We’re not in touch.
9. Fenerbahce vs. Cagliari – Club Friendly
Turkish vs Italian sides
10. Steinbach vs. Cologne – Club Friendly
Some Tier Three-or-worse team that must be geographically near Cologne hosts Cologne, who are warming up for the Bundesliga by storming small towns for soccer goals and Tier Three birddogging of players’ girlfriends.