Family events have pressed Noob for time, so no wacky images today, at least at initial posting time.
But it’s time for the first-ever Isle of Sodor Premier League to begin! Noob’s exclusive coverage should be enough for all of us to digest.
MLS playoff hunting is on as well, and Noob brings you the mosst interesting match previews from hither and yon in Europe.
Don’t forget to google up Bros Talking Soccer’s live streaming YouTube channel to catch Noob has he guests on their broadcast there and then later in podcast form! Yes, Noob warned them it was a questionable idea. They’re young and optimistic and that’s a great way to live though! 🙂
FC Dallas vs. Sporting Kansas City – Major League Soccer
Two matches to go in the regular season and things couldn’t be much tighter atop the Wester Conference table.
These are your #1 and #B teams, separated by just a point. LAFC is tied in the table with KC, too. They’ll all, of course, want the trophy. But just finishing in the top two is critical, as those teams are awarded a bye for the first round of the Playoffs.
KC had not won in three matches until blasting Vancouver 1-4 last time out. Have they found their offense again, just at the right time? It’s been their bread and butter all season, but it’d been dry crusts for a while there.
Dallas had been rolling, yet not getting distance from KC because of more draws than wins. Losing 1-0 to red-hot D.C. United in their last one is understandable, but at least their defense was and is still performing at a high level. They don’t play small ball exactly, but have been far and away the most successful defensive-minded squad of those postseason-bound.
RESULT: KC 0-3
B. Arlesburgh United vs. Brendam Harbor – Isle of Sodor Premier League
It’s finally here!!
Noob was proud to bring you exclusive coverage of the 2018 Isle of Sodor FA Cup this summer. First time they’ve ever held one. It wasn’t meant to be exclusive, but no on else had picked up the ball.
Now, their first ever Premier League season begins. Maybe it’s because they’re not FIFA members. Heck, they don’t even play in CONIFA. Maybe it’s because they’re not affiliated with England’s FA like their neighbors, the Isle of Man (they’re in what’s called the “County System”). But once again, no other non-domestic media reps are here. It seems Noob’s coverage will be exclusive once again!
Noob’s packed his bags headed across The Pond to give you season-long coverage. I’ll have much more detail on the formation of the country’s FA and the look of their new Premier League and two lower leagues very soon. Already there is a Page on this site recapping all the match results from the FA Cup. You can also Search the site for posts in which games were Tracked and learn some stuff about the various clubs. Soon, the IoSPL will have its own Page, too.
For now, hello from Arlesburgh! The first ever PL match is by design a rematch from the FA Cup Final. That was held in Suddery, the capital, and Brendam Harbor routed Arlesburgh Utd. 0-5.
The Harbormen are the only team on Sodor that plays really hard defense. It’s a cultural thing, considered almost uncouth to be too aggressive in that way. There’s another team from the town of Brendam United are held in higher esteem outside their town. Harbor are sort of the bad guys of the league, though no Suddric would ever phrase it quite so.
Arlesbugh Utd. were a surprise in reaching that Final at all. Based on historical results from loosely-formed leagues and friendlies galore over the years, they were thought to be a team would do pretty well in the third tier, but have been placed in Premier as a reward for their astounding results in the Cup.
Again, so much more on this league is coming and soon. For now, be aware that is begun and the world should be excited.
RESULT: Harbor 1-4
D.C. vs. NYCFC – Major League Soccer
The bottom slice of bread in this MLS sandwich is the continued run of the train D.C. United. After spending so much of the season in the basement, their historic run has seen them climb to 6th and be four points clear of their nearest rival. They could climb as high as #3 these last two matches, though such a jump is unlikely.
Wayne Rooney correctly gets most of the credit for this epic turnaround since being signed mid-season. But If the team is to remain in the Playoffs, perhaps even make a run, it will likely be on the backs of their defense. They’ve allowed just one goal in their string of four straight wins.
So, here’s a rare shoutout to a defenseman. The goalkeeping has been great, but the guy who really seems to hold everything together of late is French national Frederic Brillant. He played for NYCFC last year and will try to be a pox on them today.
RESULT: D.C. 3-1 The comeback is complete! DCU are in the Playoffs. Rooney with a pair of scores, Acosta with the other.
UNAM Pumas vs. UANL Tigres – Liga MX
Two of the league’s best defenses face off in this one. They’re #5 and #8 in the league, respectively, and the top eight make the Playoffs.
Pumas need to start putting away some opponents instead of settling for so many draws. Statistically, they’re the second-best team in the league. Tigres don’t do quite so well in that end, but Noob thinks they can hold off the slue of teams two points behind them for that last postseason berth. But they need a result today, and the smell in the air is a 0-0 draw.
RESULT: 3-3 Well, it was a draw, anyway! Carlos Gonzalez did all the scoring for Pumas.
Everton vs. Crystal Palace – English Premier League
This isn’t the smexiest matchup, but it’s our lone one from Britain today. They’re #11 and #14 in the table.
In the time Noob’s been learning footyball, Everton seems to be one of those clubs that always lurks non-threateningly just below the top clubs that qualify for the international European tournaments. But they’ve won two in a row, and should make it three today.
Palace have lost their last two, and not for having played any of the title contenders. They’ve scored all of five goals on the year, which would be league worst if not for Huddersfield. Palace packs it in on defense and prays for the best. God does not answer Crystal Palace’s prayers.
RESULT: Everton 1-0
Saprissa vs. Alajuense – Costa Rica Primera
Back to CONCACAF territory for a dandy! Costa Rica’s top flight is maybe every bit as good as MLS.
Alajuense surprise by leading their hosts today by four in the table. They score like it might go out of style soon and have won four straight matches. Saprissa score, too, and they have the league’s best defense. Their only loss recently has been to fellow traditional powerhouses Herediano.
RESULT: Saprissa 2-1
Cibao vs. Atletico Pantoja – Dominican Republic Liga Mayor
It’s Playoffs time in the DR! This is the second leg of a Semifinal match. Cibao won the first leg 3-2, can take care of business and advance at home today.
These were the second and third-best teams in the regular season. They league’s top six than play what they call a Liguilla. The records are thrown out and they play five matches to determine which four make the Final Stage (bracketed Playoffs).
This should be a shootout. Both teams have been scored in bunches during the Liguilla, especially Ciabao. The winner gets Atletico de San Francisco, which won their both their Semifinal matches over distant pretenders Real Vega by scores of 8-0 in both.
RESULT: Cibao 3-2 And so they’ll face SF in the Finals
Vardar Skopje vs. Shkendija – Macedonia Prva Liga
in 2019, this league will move up to #34 in UEFA. Hey, they’re playing.
V.S. is undefeated and seven points up on Shkendija and less traditional power Academy Pandev. They’ve given up just four goals in a ten matches. Shknedija score like it’s pinball. They’ve been hurt by achieving only draws in half their matches.
RESULT: Shkendija 0-2 The league race is back on!
FC Sheriff vs. Milsami Orhei – Moldova National Division
If you follow the early, early round of UEFA Champions Leagues, you know the name Sheriff. Best offense, best defense. If they add cheerleaders, they’ll be the hottest in all Moldova. They’d probably import some Nordic beauties to make sure. Noob doesn’t know if Moldovans are known for being hot. I’m trying to learn soccer, but I can’t get it all at once.
M.O. are a distant #B and should be two-goal underdogs today.
St. John’s vs. Hard Rock – Grenada Premier
We finish our Track today with more CONCACAF-feination! No, the term still hasn’t caught on. Noob dares to dream.
Is this an “important” league? Not to most. But Noob’s making a concerted effort to get to know his neighbors.
So! St. John’s are tied for #1 in the league after a dozen matches. They and Hurricanes are both 5-0-0. The latter have the best offense and defense in the league and should pull away before long. A win over the visiting #3 Hard Rock side seems requisite of they want to keep pace for much longer. Hard Rock don’t have the defensive prowess to keep up today or this season.
RESULT: SJ 1-0