Romantic lady/ Single baby/ Mm, sophisticated mama /Come on you disco lady, yeah /Play with me tonight mama, yeah
Is Kool & The Gang the right way to intro a week headlined by UEFA Women’s Champions League?
Does a Catholic bear crap in the Pope’s woods?
Move along! No interesting soccer matches to be seen today.
Montpelier vs. Chelsea Ladies – UEFA Women’s Champions League
Noob is particularly Noob when it comes to the women’s international game. But I gather there are no underdogs left in this field. This is the first leg of a Quarterfinal tie.
RESULT: Chelsea 0-2
B. Manchester City vs. Linkopings – UEFA Women’s Champions League
Linkopings are from Finland.
RESULT: Man City 2-0
Dan “the Intern-o Inferno” doesn’t differentiate between Laplandic Number B’s.
Liechtenstein vs. Andorra – international friendly
For all the crazy-spelled club names Noob’s been learning, turns out I can’t spell “Liechtenstein” without looking at it. I don’t want that first E there. Thanks for making me feel bad about myself, European microstate. You know, I visited you once. Stopped and had ice cream on my way to Netherlands.
Andorra – I got nothin’ for ya’. These two national teams are FIFA-ranked 181 and 130, respectively.
RESULT: Andorra 0-1
Lyon vs. Barcelona – UEFA Women’s Champions League
OK, I can at least tell you Lyon are the two-time defending champs.
RESULT: Lyon 2-1 Close enough to make the upcoming second leg in Barcelona really interesting
Wolfsburg vs. Slavia Prague – UEFA Women’s Champions League
Noob’s last name means “wolf” in dialectical German from circa 1500. I wonder if my forefathers are from Wolfsburg. Probably not. Wolf’s pretty common, even with an E.
RESULT: Wolfsburg 5-0 Less drama here when they return to the Czech Republic
Kyrgyzstan vs. Myanmar – Asian Cup qualification
The last Group Stage is underway as teams try and qualify for Asian Cup. The winner of that whole shebang will get to represent the continental federation at the next Club World Cup.
These two are #B and #3 in their Group of four. Top two finishers will make the Asian Cup. FIFA ranks the teams #115 and #142 worldwide.
RESULT: Kyrgyzstan 5-1
Noob hurt Dan “the Intern-o Inferno”‘s feeweeings at Number B.
Buck up, buttercup.
Denmark vs. Panama – international friendly
These two continue to tune up for World Cup. For the first time ever, three Laplandic countries have qualified, and Denmark are one. Panama have qualified for the first time in their nation’s history. FIFA ranks them #12 and #53.
RESULT: Denmark 1-0
China vs. Wales – international friendly
Wales is a curious case – their Premier League is near the bottom of Europa in strength, but their national team is ranked about 20th in the world. FIFA ranked China’s #65.
RESULT: Wales 0-6
Dan “the Intern-o Inferno” is not a master of subtlety.
Faroe Islands vs. Latvia – international friendly
If you play Scrabble or Words With Friends, you likely know the word OE. Well, it’s a storm from the Faroe Islands. Very specific. Latvia – I’ve got nothin’ for ya’. #’s 97 and 131.
Malta vs. Luxembourg – international friendly
Despite the face that it might be easy for one to leave out the O, Noob has no issues spelling Luxembourg cheat-free. See, Liechtenstein? You could learn something from Luxembourg.
I don’t really know what. But something…
RESULT: 0-1 Luxembourg
Noob will politely pass, Dan.
Hey, The Management, did we require psych evals as part of the intern apps?