Where’s Jennifer Garner, Noob’s got some double miles to rack up! TGIGF, Noobites. Friday’s lighter schedule for “big” leagues gives way weekly to our Globetrotting.
As always, we’ll start with more familiar locales, then chart soccer parts less-known. We’re all travelling footyball first class.
Yeovil Town vs. Manchester United – English FA Cup
Huish Park Glovers, you can doo eet! Noob-Adopted League Two (fourth tier) Yeovil has made the Fourth Round Proper. With only 31 other teams remaining, the competition was bound to take a severe step up. And so it is, with Premier League #2 Man U paying a call.
Fun Fact: Notts County, Coventry City and Newport County are the other surviving League Two clubs.
RESULT: Man Utd. 0-4
B. Tijuana vs. Puebla – Liga MX
Neither of this these teams have lost a match three games into the Clausura (second half-season). They only finished 11th and 15th respectively in the Apertura, so it will be muy divertido to see if either can keep up the seeming improvement.
RESULT: Tijuana 2-0
Nothing says divertido like balloons and Number B.
Universitario vs. Oriente Petrolero – Copa Libertadores qualification
19 teams are competing for four spots in South America’s version of Champions League. This is the part of the first preliminary stage, featuring just six of those clubs.
These are the fourth-best teams from their nations. We Tracked the first leg of this tie just a few days ago, and Bolivian Oriente Petrolero held serve and a little extra, with a 2-0 victory. Peruvian Universitario is the better team on paper, but not by so much that overcoming that margin won’t be really difficult.
RESULT: Oriente Petrolero 1-3 Aggregate finishes at 3-3. O.P. advances on away goals (1).
Colo Colo vs. Santiago Wanderers – Supercopa de Chile
This is an annual event to kick off the league season. Noob wonders if this is the most bizarre matchup they’ve ever had.
Last season’s Premier League winner (Colo Colo) is taking on the FA Cup winner (Wanderers). What makes this is odd is that Wanderers did so poorly last season in league the last two seasons, they were relegated to the country’s second division.
RESULT: Colo Colo 3-0
Talleres vs. San Lorenzo – Superliga Argentina
These two are in 5th and 2nd place. This is a surprising start for Talleres. The league is 30 teams deep, and they were only just promoted to the top flight this season.
San Lorenzo finished in 8th last season, missing out Copa Libertadores qualification by just one spot in the table.
RESULT: Talleres 2-0
Carabobo vs. Estudiantes Merida – Venezuela Premier
The season is just kicking off here. These two finished in 3rd and 4th place in the Clausura last season.
RESULT: moved to Monday
And you thought NFL celebrations were weird. Carabobo…
IF Gnistan vs. HJK Helsinki – Finnish Cup
This tournament is in the Group stage, its fifth round. The top two finishers from each of five Groups of six will advance. Top flight-HJK won their first match, while fellow Helsinkians and recently-demoted-to-third-tier Gnistan earned a draw in theirs.
RESULT: HJK 0-8
Dunfermline vs. St. Mirren – Scottish Championship
St. Mirren is starting to pull away with the second-division league title. Dunfermline is in 3rd. Their goal differential is only five less than St. Mirren, yet they trail by 15 points in the table. They’ve got the offense to possibly pull of the upset here, cement their league playoff position for a possible promotion.
In fact, Noobstradamus is calling this one for “The Pars”!
RESULT: St. Mirren 1-0 Noobstradamus fail
“The Pars”? Do I have time to reconsider this prognostication?
9. Matoury vs. Remire – French Guiana Division d’Honneur
3rd place hosts 7th in this French territorial top-flight league. Their table works different than most. Teams get four points for a win, two for a draw, and one point for just showing up and losing.
RESULT: Matoury 6-1
Sidekicks vs. UOG – Guam Soccer League
11th hosts 3rd place. Only the league winner qualifies for the AFC Champions League (and only the preliminary round at that).
Funnest Fact: Even though they they are a woeful 15th place of 17 teams in this league, Noob’s adopting…FC Beercelona!
You’re goldurn right.