That second-tier North American soccer playoff smell is in the air! Perspiration, desperation …and maybe more than a little hope for certain players that MLS clubs will be calling in a few months. Breathe it in Noobites. It’s glorious.
Full disclosure, as always from Noob: It turns out it’s also a difficult time of year to get playoff coaches for interviews. But fear not! Noob’s reach is long and distinguished. We’re going to talk to a guy who may be coaching in USL, if he’s lucky, next year.
Today, Noob welcomes to the D-Twosday Interview former San Jose Earthquakes head coach Dominic Kinnear!
Noob: Welcome, coach Kinnear, to D-Twosday interview.
Coach Dominic Kinnear: Is that like “twofer twosdays” on 100.3 The Sound here in L.A.?
Noob: Very much so. Would you like to make a musical request for our time here?
Coach Kinnear: Rush stands the test of time more than any prog rock band ever. Do you have “Vital Signs”?
Noob: Does a Catholic bear crap in the Pope’s woods?
Coach Kinnear: I….I don’t know.
Coach Kinnear: I guess that answers that. Rock on.
Noob: I mixed a couple old saws together there into a jarring combination. No worries.
Coach Kinnear: Rush is all I have that makes me happy any longer.
Noob: Tell me about what happened in San Jose.
Coach Kinnear: Sure! Not like I have playoffs to get ready for. The men in high places. They chose to mold a new reality.
Noob: “Closer to the Heart”, ’77.
Coach Kinnear: They wanted to focus on youth. We’d been playing pretty decent ball! But glittering prizes, endless compromises…
Noob: Indeed, the illusion of integrity seemed shattered. “Spirit of Radio”. Continue.
Coach Kinnear: So I caught on as an assistant to L.A. Galaxy. They chose me as something of a guide, like a celestial voice.
Noob: 1980, “Free Will”. All-timer.
Coach Kinnear: Fat lot of good it did. San Jose sneaks into the playoffs on the last day of the regular season while my guys are last place. Seems to be I could be living my life a lot better than I am.
Noob: “Working Man”. They used a version for the theme on “Transporter: The TV Series”.
Coach Kinnear: That sucked.
Noob: Don’t try to be cool around me.
Coach Kinnear: Fine. It was more than passable, if uneven in its only season. I was out of synch with the rhythm of my own reactions.
Noob: Ooooh. Don’t tell me…don’t…dang it! Stumped.
Coach Kinnear: “Secret Touch.” You’re no fan! Who do you think you are? You’re not worthy to tune Neil Peart’s drum head.
Noob: I am Noob.
Coach Kinnear: I’d feel better if you played the song.
Noob: I’d feel better if I knew for sure “tuning a drumhead” wasn’t a euphemism. But the time we’ve had has been exquisite and mesmerizing, Coach. Thank you for joining me for D-Twosday!