Noob is on a road trip of limited cell service and wifi only when he can sneak off to local crappy food-free internet restaurant. No wacky pictures this go-round, but plenty of quality football action! We start off with the three best, most important MLS games of the day. But if you have the time, check your other MLS soccer sources for other games. Plenty all over the place are affecting the playoff standings today.
1. Sporting Kansas City vs. Houston Dynamo – MLS
What a glorious hot mess the Western Division is! Two games to go, and swamp city Houston is in 5th place. They are two points out of 2nd, yet also only two points from being out of the top six and the playoffs.
These two played just a few days ago and Houston got the important home win. KC almost can’t fall out of the playoff picture. They could slip to a tie for 6th, yet would likely still get in on GD.
Noob is simply cheering for lots of red cards and a draw. Experienced Noobites now how The Management and I feel about swamp cities., even if we are on opposite ends of the KC feelings-spectrum. No red cards. RESULT: 0-0
B. New York Red Bulls vs. Atlanta United – MLS
The Eastern Division is clearer, but only comparatively. NYRB is in 6th and Montral cannot catch them for the last playoff spot. They aren’t terribly likely to catch 5th place Columbus these last two matches even if they win out.
Atlanta, meanwhile, is in 3rd place, and could easily finish anywhere from 2nd to 5th. ATL slips to 5th in another torrid MLS affair haha. RESULT: 0-0
3. New England Revolution vs New York City FC – MLS
NYCFC is that 2nd place team. The road is never easy, but the Rev are already on their second coach of the season. Goals! And upset. RESULT: New England 2-1
4. Southampton vs. Newcastle United – English Premier
13th hosts 9th. Neither EPL game is key to the top of the standings. Yet it’s interesting and fun to see New Castle playing in the top half-sandbox after just having been promoted this season from the ECL. After this and Sunday’s matches, Southampton has climbed to 10th. Newcastle’s position is unchanged. RESULT: 2-2
5. Santos vs. Atlas – Liga MX
15th hosts 11th in the only Mexican top league game today. Fun Fact: Santos’ nicknames include “The Warriors” and “The Lakers”. Trying to get California NBA fans to come together? Following the full weekend slate, Atlas climbs to 9th. Santos is still 15th. RESULT: Atlas 0-1
6. Inter Milan vs. AC Milan – Italian Serie A
As if the intracity rivalry wouldn’t be heated anyway, neither club made Champions League last year. And though it’s early, AC Milan is on the outside looking in again, even for Europa league, in 7th. Internazionale is in 3rd. Inter to 2nd, AC to 10th. RESULT: Inter Milan 3-2
7. SK Sturm Graz vs. Austria Vienna – Austrian Bundesliga
Jewels Sturm and Brigata Graz will be out in force – their two biggest organized fan groups. 1st hosts 3rd in a wide open title race so far. AV falls to 4th. RESULT Sturm Graz 3-0
8. Sagan Tosu vs. Cerezo Osaka – J1 League
8th hosts 5th as the league season winds down. Cerezo Osaka will probably be rotating non-starters in as they get ready for there appearance in the final of the League Cup, so Sagan Tosu has a mighty good chance to secure their top-half spot in the league standings. Or not. RESULT: Cerezo Osaka 1-2
9. Guastatoya vs. Petapa – Guatemala National League
4th hosts 1st. Noob standings confusion reigns! They are actually now 5th and 6th respectively. RESULT: Guastatoya 2-1
10. Wilstermann vs. The Strongest – Bolivia Pro League
1st hosts 4th. The Strongest leapfrog Wilstermann! 3rd and 2nd respectively now. RESULT: The Strongest 1-2