Interview D Twosday with Jacksonville Armada owner Robert Palmer, 10-10-17

Noobites, welcome back to another saucy edition of D-Twosday Interview! So far , there seem to be no ill effects from our excursion into the forest and dark arts last week. Still, I think we’ll stay out of mysterious forests’ hearts for now.

Today, we get in touch by phone with Robert Palmer, the young phenom businessman who has the NASL’s Jacksonville Armada as part of his ownership portfolio with RP Funding and homevalue.com.

Noob:    Hello, and thanks for joining Noob for some interview time.

Robert Palmer:    Aren’t you Noob? That was third person.

Noob:    I am Noob!!

Robert Palmer:    Your reputation proceeds you, I follow now. And hello to all the Noobites.

Noob:    I love you.

Robert Palmer:    Huh?

Noob:    Never mind. I’m just thrilled you’re on board. Congratulations on the soccer team’s success so far this season.

Robert Palmer:    Thank you. We’re happy to be tied with the Cosmos to be the possible last team into the playoffs. Still work to be done.

Noob:    Yes, four games left. And you have a a far tougher road left than the Cosmos.

Robert Palmer:    But one game with them. Getting a win there will likely make or break the season.

Noob:    But I’m confused.

Robert Palmer:    Really? The aggregate Spring and Fall Season standings seem pretty cut and dry.

Noob:    Can I ask you a question that’s been bugging me?

Robert Palmer:    Of course.

Noob:    How did you get to established in the business world after your first career?

Robert Palmer:    I’m not sure what you mean.

Noob:    Oh, c’mon. “Addicted to Love”. “Simply Irresistable”. “Bang a Gong” with Power Station?

Robert Palmer:    Oh here we go.

Noob:    Why abandon such a diverse and successful music career to go into business?

Robert Palmer:    You’re serious.

Noob:    As a heart attack.

Robert Palmer:    We’re not the same person.

Noob:    With such an uncommon name? Codswallop.

Robert Palmer:    That guy would be decades older than me if he were still alive.

Noob:    Wait, what? Alive? Noobites, stuff just got really real here. We’re in uncharted territory.

Robert Palmer:   Robert Palmer the rock, pop, bossa nova and Caribbean-influenced musician of particular mid-to-late-80’s fame died in 1993.

Noob:    Your talking so loco. How did you come back?

Robert Palmer:     His lifetime and mine overlap. I could not be reincarnated musician Robert Palmer.

Noob:    Then how do you know so much about Robert Palmer, Robert Palmer?

Robert Palmer:    * pause * I.. have to go. There’s a bunch of pouty lookalike girls in my office who look like they’re straight out of Patrick Nagel art here.

Noob:    Is that the lead-in to “I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On” in the background there??

Robert Palmer:    Maybe… * click *

Business. Soccer. Music. Strange semi-returns from the afterlife. D-Twosday Interviews brings you it all! North American second-tier soccer could replace your church, subscription to the Wall Street Journal, and mother. That was magnificent and silky.

Join us next week for another exciting D-Twosday Interview!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to decide what flowers to send to Robert Palmer to thank him, and in his memory.

Author: Soccernoob

After a year of previewing soccer matches the world over with my own off-brand comedy, I now provide exclusive coverage for the Isle of Sodor Premier League, Championship, and FA Cup. (FC Dryaw 'til I die.)

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