10 to Track (Sun., 10/1/16)

1. Newcastle vs. Liverpool – English Premiere

9th hosts 6th place in the most competitive match on paper in the EPL today.   RESULT:   1-1

Image result for liver bird   The cormorant, AKA the namesake liver bird

B. Seattle Sounders vs. Philadelphia Union – MLS

Coming in to the weekend, Seattle is just a point out of first and in a three-way tie for 2nd. Philly isn’t as bad as their record and second-to-last spot in the standings might indicate. Their goal differential is barely negative, and Noob thinks they’d be flirting with the playoffs if they were in the Western Division.   Ha!  Stow it, Sounders.   RESULT:   Philly  0-2

Image result for philly not so bad   If you say so…

3. Pumas UNAM vs. Cruz Azul – Liga MX

Neither of the two Liga MX games looks like it will be close, though at least bottom feeder UNAM is hosting this one. Cruz Azul s in 8th and needs to earn three points in games like these to pass some clubs.   Cruz Azul now in three-way tie for 3rd.   RESULT:   Cruz Azul   1-4

4. FC Edmonton vs. San Francisco – NASL

San Francisco’s spot in the playoffs looks safe. Miami FC is likely to be the winner of the Fall Season in addition to their Spring Season top finish. SF is has the most aggregate points of all other teams, and three other will make the playoffs.   RESULT:   Deltas   0-1

Image result for safety funny   And ends with you.

5. Sporting FC vs. FC Porto – Portuguese Liga

Best game in the world today. It’s early in their season, but these are two traditional heavyweights and they’re 2nd and 1st.    Maybe she and a friend were in the goals?     RESULT:   0-0

Image result for portugal fat   No no no!   Wrong Portuguese heavyweight.

6. Etoile du Sahel vs. Al Ahly – CAF Champions League

First leg of the semifinal tie. No matter it turns out, Noobstradamus thinks the survivor of these two games will win the whole shebang.   RESULT:   Sahel   2-1

7. Dundalk vs. Shamrock Rovers – FAI Cup (Ireland)

The Emerald Isle’s FA cup is in the semis. Dundalk seems pretty clearly the second-best team after Cork City, and there seems little reason to think they won’t handle the visiting Dubliners in this one-off.   Either this is a two-legged tie or they replay the match because of the draw.  Regardless, these two go at it again in several days.   RESULT:   1-1

8. Young Boys vs. St. Gallen – Swiss Super League

#1 hosts #2. Fun Fact: The only other two sport Young Boys of Bern compete in as an organization are field hockey and bowling.   RESULT:   Young Boys   6-1

Image result for bowling field hockey meme  bowlingnoob.com ?

9. Rosenborg vs. Sarpsborg – Norway Eliteserien

#2 Sarpsborg has some serious catching up to do to threaten Rosenborg for the only slot for this league is next year’s UEFA Champions League.   Draw assimilated.   RESULT:   1-1

Image result for borg   THE borg.

10. Ulnizi Stars vs. Kakamega Homeboyz – Kenya Premier League

These teams were each a shade higher in the standings when Noob was first scouting games for today’s date. Still, 4th vs. 6th place collide with two teams that have made second half surges.   Kakamega wins by an inch.   RESULT:   Homeboyz   0-1

Image result for kakamega homeboyz fc   So many jokes, so little time.

Author: Soccernoob

After a year of previewing soccer matches the world over with my own off-brand comedy, I now provide exclusive coverage for the Isle of Sodor Premier League, Championship, and FA Cup. (FC Dryaw 'til I die.)

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