10 to Track (Sunday, 9/24/2017)

1. Brighton & Hove Albion vs. Newcastle United – English Premiere

The one EPL game today pits teams promoted to Premiere just this season. Newcastle has surprised early, sitting wel in the top half of the standings. B&H can’t score, has fewer goalless than anyone except 0-fer everything Crystal Palace.   But all you need is one.    RESULT:  B&HA 1-0

B. Sporting Kansas City vs. L.A. Galaxy – MLS

Congrats from The Management to KC for a convincing U.S. Open Cup championship over New York Red Bulls. Noob, however, hopes you’re drunk on that particular success and get upset by a crappy L.A. Team in your own house.     They sobered up.    RESULT:  KC 2-1

Image result for drunk success meme   Midwest drunk be the right kind of drunk.

3. Atlanta United vs. Montreal Impact – MLS

Expansion 4th place Atlanta continues to impress, and the fans are supporting it in town. I believe they just packed -70,000- into their new stadium. Montreal sits in 7th, one slot out of the playoffs in the West, and should want no part of 4th place ATL.    RESULT:  ATL – 2-0

Image result for Atlanta United new stadium   Is shared with NFL Atlanta Falcons.

4. Vancouver Whitecaps 2 vs. Phoenix Rising – USL

It seems like Noob is always posting expansion Phoenix games right next to MLS Atlanta matches. It’s been fun to watch new clubs do so well. Phoenix is in 5th in the West, five points out of 4th and the chance to host a league playoff game. Road wins are always tough to come by, but they need that and not just a draw against lowly VW2 to make that push.   Push.  Push it real good.   RESULT:  Phoenix  0-4

5. Seattle Reign vs. FC Kansas City – NWSL

The four-team playoff is nearly set. Seattle is one of three teams still alive for two unclaimed playoff berths. They need to win their last two matches to even have a shot at one.   Seattle can now make off-season plans.   RESULT:  KC  0-1

6. Etoile du Sahel vs. Ah Ahli Tripoli – CAF Champions League

One more semifinal slot remains to fill in Africa’s premiere club tournament. Noob’s rooting interest always falls anti-Tunisian teams, and so I’m disappointed Al Ahli couldn’t manage only a scoreless tie at home in the first leg of this tie. Sadly, du Sahel should salt this away quickly at home.    Salted.   RESULT:   du Sahel  2-0

Image result for tunisia funny   Tunisian student.   That’s dirty pool, interwebs.

7. Hobro IK vs. Brondby – Danish SAS-Ligaen

Hobro was just promoted to the country’s top flight league this season, and they sit in 3rd. Brondby’s one of the big Copenhagen clubs and will be no easy meat.    Kayaking.  Tiny strokes.    RESULT:  Brondby  1-2

Image result for hobro  Actual photo from Hobro’s sports club.

The Management would like to clarify that this is NOT an actual photo of… wait, what?

The Management would like to apologize for The Management’s interruption.  Our crack inter-webs staff informs me this actually IS said photo.  Back about your business.  Off with you now.

8. Royal Charleroi vs. Club Brugge – Belgium Jupiler League

#2 hosts #1 in a dandy matchup between a less-heralded side and one of the league’s two traditional powers.    Tradition.   RESULT:   Brugge  1-2

9. FC Salzburg vs. Austria Vienna – Austrian Bundesliga

#2 hosts #3.

In 2005, Red Bull makers bought then-club FC Austria Salzburg and the changed the name to match their sporting portfolio to include “Red Bull” in the league name, as well as changing the official colors and logo. Fans were so livid, many started a new club under the old name. It competes in the third tier of Austrian football.    RESULT:   0-0

Image result for red bull meme

10. Club Deportivo Cuenca vs. Emelec – Ecuador Premier

This league has first and second “phases” instead of the more traditional season segments of Apertura and Clausura. Same thing. It’s in the “segundo fase”, and the Fighting Bulls (morlacos) of Cuenca…who have a lion, -not a bull- on their crest…are in 2nd place.   RESULT:  Emelec  0-2

Image result for that makes no sense meme    He KNOWS his animals.

Author: Soccernoob

After a year of previewing soccer matches the world over with my own off-brand comedy, I now provide exclusive coverage for the Isle of Sodor Premier League, Championship, and FA Cup. (FC Dryaw 'til I die.)

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