10 to Track (Tuesday, 9/19/2017)

1. USA vs. New Zealand – women’s friendly

You’re not dreaming, Noobites. This is a rematch from 9/15. NZ’s making the trip worthwhile stuck around for another beating. Amuricuh took the first one 3-1.    RESULT:   USA  5-0

Image result for americuh women meme     Vendor, I’ll have a bottled water and even more freedom!

B. Australia vs. Brazil – women’s friendly

Second verse, same as the first. Oz took the first game 2-1.    RESULT:   Australia  3-2

3. AFC Bournemouth vs. Brighton & Hove Albion – EFL Cup

It’s deja vu all over yet again. Noob’s beloved Cherries finally earned some points with a win on 15th with a 2-1 nailbiter.    RESULT:   Bournemouth  1-0

My thoughts and prayers go out to all affected by the massive earthquake in Mexico.   The Copa MX matches were all, of course, postponed.

4. Monterrey vs. University de Guadalajara – Copa MX

This tournament has now reached the Knockout Stage. There are no ties here, just straight one-offs. The 16 remaining teams are seeded by how they did in their qualifying groups. This is a 3-14 matchup on seeding. Monterrey should have little trouble with the Ascenso side.

5. Morelia vs. Tijuana – Copa MX

This is a 4-13 matchup that should play much closer. In fact, Noobstradamus is divining that “los xolos” (short for a breed of hairless dog) will come out victorious.

Image result for xolos dog meme   What’s Spanish for “PETA”?

6. America vs. Cruz Azul – Copa MX

Seeds 7 and 10 face off. The Eagles of Mexico City – the most sucessful league team in national history – play host.

7. Guadalajara vs. Atlas – Copa MX

Different side than UdeG above. This is an 8/9 matchup. Guadalajara are defending champs.

8. Hibernian vs. Livingston – Scottish Communities League Cup

Only the second most prestigious Cup in Scotland, this is the more interesting of the two quarterfinal matches this date. Hibernian won the second division league last year, earning promotion to Premiere. They are replaced there by third tier champ Livingston.    RESULT:   Hibernian  3-2

9. Niger vs. Benin – friendly

FIFA ranked #44 vs. #88. At game’s end, will the visitors have “been in” this one?    RESULT:   Benin  1-2

Image result for horrible pun   Better pun.

10. Senegal vs. Ivory Coast – friendly

#33 vs. #54. No more pun attempts.    RESULT:   0-0

Author: Soccernoob

After a year of previewing soccer matches the world over with my own off-brand comedy, I now provide exclusive coverage for the Isle of Sodor Premier League, Championship, and FA Cup. (FC Dryaw 'til I die.)

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