1. Chelsea vs. Arsenal – English Premiere League
Defending champion Chelsea is near the top early, but the Manchester clubs look really dominant. They should be putting their foot down on .500 Arsenal. RESULT: 0-0
Hey, still way better to like Arsenal than their Tottenham Hotspur rivals.
B. NY Red Bulls vs. Philadelphia Union – MLS
The Eastern Division is starting to sort itself out. Red Bulls sit in the 6th and final playoff standings slot. 8th place Philly is six points behind, desperately in need of a win. Noob suspects NYRB will sit on the ball, happy with a draw. RESULT: 0-0
3. Borussia Dortmund vs. FC Cologne – Bundesliga
Noob hasn’t mentioned a single player name in any T2T, and by design. I’m introducing all of us to league teams and international events first. But Dortmund is getting a sizable American following because of 21-year old Christian Pulisic. He’s going to be -the- star for the US Men’s National Team for many years. Still no points on the season for Cologne. RESULT: Dortmund 5-0
4. Paris Saint-Germain vs. Lyon – Ligue 1
PSG is 5-0-0 and has outscored opponents 19-3. Lyon’s a nice side, but there’s no reason to think they won’t get housed here. RESULT: PSG 2-0
You know that movie doesn’t end well for you, right?
5. Toluca vs. Queretaro – Liga MX
Los Choriceros (“The Sausagers”) of Toluca carry one of Noob’s favorite nicknames. A win against subpar Queretaro keeps them in the top half of the league standings. RESULT: Toluca 3-2
6. Jordan vs. Kenya – friendly
Sounds like a celebrity rap battle. RESULT: cancelled
Noob would rather watch Schwimmer and Wilson play football than this.
7. Swope Park Rangers vs. San Antonio FC – USL
Awesome division two matchup, as 4th place hosts 2nd in the West. Rangers are a The Management favorite, but Noob holds no love for anything Kansas City. This weekend he is an unofficial member of SAFC supporter’s group “Mission City Firm”. RESULT: SPR 5-2
Over -everything-? Well, that’s a commitment.
8. PSV Eindhoven vs. Feyenoord Rotterdam – Dutch Eredivisie
Eindhoven finished third last season with just two losses, but a mess of draws. Feyenoord won last year, leads early this year. PSV is finally struggling with less goal-scoring firepower than the traditional league powers. RESULT: PSV 1-0
9. Jubilo Iwata vs. Urawa Red Diamonds – J1 League
These two usual league leaders have struggled this season. But Noob never misses a chance to let The Situation show us what he knows. Here our Urawa cry, gym-tan-sushi! RESULT: 1-1
Where the sushi goes. And you’re welcome, ladies. I think.
10. Mamelodi Sundowns vs. Wydad Casablanca – CAF Champions League
South African and Moroccan super clubs face off in this the first leg of this quarterfinal tie.
“Wydad” is Arabic for “love” and the name is used here as homage to an incredibly famous 20th C. Egyptian singer and actress, Umm Kulthum. RESULT: Sundowns 1-0