D-Twosday Interview, 9/12/2017

Is the greatest tragedy regarding Hurricane Irma that so many are without power, having to wait interminable-seeming days to get to see this week’s D-Twosday Interview? I know, right? Rhetorical question.

Noob caught up again with NASL FC Edmonton head coach Colin Miller again this week. And not because I had to chase him. Really.

Noob:    Thank you again for your time once again this week coach!

Coach Miller:    What can I say? I was going to avoid you like a plague-bearing rat, but –

Noob:    Ahhhh. You got it.

Coach Miller:    I’m not the biggest drinker by any stretch, but 30 year old Macallan is a treasure.

Noob:    Glad you’re enjoying it.

Coach Miller:     Not yet. I’m terrified of alcohol after the week we had.

Noob:    I’m glad you brought it up first.

Coach Miller:    It’s a sore spot to say the least.

Noob:    Good news first. Your club is still in a tie for 2nd with San Francisco Deltas.

Coach Miller:    Thank the Lord for small blessings.

Noob:    After your team’s bed-crapping of a Spring Season –

Coach Miller:     Hey.  You sent a nice 30. Not a 50-year.

Noob:    – I’d think you’d be thrilled to still be in second. To recap the week for our audience:   A home and away with North Carolina FC. 1-1 draw on the road, 3-0 loss at home.

Coach Miller:    And lucky have to gotten the draw.

Noob:    Too true. Let’s fast forward the video highlight of the only goal your team “scored” this week.

Coach Miller:    What? How can we both see the same video over the –

Noob:    And that ghastly flub keeps you in 2nd. And so, still on Noob’s radar.

Coach Miller:    Wait, that’s third person. Aren’t you this Noob?

Noob:    I am Noob!!

Coach Miller:    Right…. Oh, what’s this Tic-Tac looking thing at the in the whisky box?

Noob:    Cyanide pill.

Coach Miller:    Thanks for the thought, Kevorkian.

Noob:    It’s raw caffeine powder in a quick-dissolving capsule.

Coach Miller:    Clever. Ass hat!

Noob:    Hey, have you been talking with previous D-Twosday Interview subject FC Puerto Rico head coach Marco Velez??

Coach Miller:    Hehehehehe. Winning. * click *

Well, that was captivating and dreamy. Thanks again, Noobites, for joining me on another journey inside the enrapturing world of North American second-tier soccer. And no, you can’t have that two minutes of your life back. Stop asking.

Author: Soccernoob

After a year of previewing soccer matches the world over with my own off-brand comedy, I now provide exclusive coverage for the Isle of Sodor Premier League, Championship, and FA Cup. (FC Dryaw 'til I die.)

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