Is the greatest tragedy regarding Hurricane Irma that so many are without power, having to wait interminable-seeming days to get to see this week’s D-Twosday Interview? I know, right? Rhetorical question.
Noob caught up again with NASL FC Edmonton head coach Colin Miller again this week. And not because I had to chase him. Really.
Noob: Thank you again for your time once again this week coach!
Coach Miller: What can I say? I was going to avoid you like a plague-bearing rat, but –
Noob: Ahhhh. You got it.
Coach Miller: I’m not the biggest drinker by any stretch, but 30 year old Macallan is a treasure.
Noob: Glad you’re enjoying it.
Coach Miller: Not yet. I’m terrified of alcohol after the week we had.
Noob: I’m glad you brought it up first.
Coach Miller: It’s a sore spot to say the least.
Noob: Good news first. Your club is still in a tie for 2nd with San Francisco Deltas.
Coach Miller: Thank the Lord for small blessings.
Noob: After your team’s bed-crapping of a Spring Season –
Coach Miller: Hey. You sent a nice 30. Not a 50-year.
Noob: – I’d think you’d be thrilled to still be in second. To recap the week for our audience: A home and away with North Carolina FC. 1-1 draw on the road, 3-0 loss at home.
Coach Miller: And lucky have to gotten the draw.
Noob: Too true. Let’s fast forward the video highlight of the only goal your team “scored” this week.
Coach Miller: What? How can we both see the same video over the –
Noob: And that ghastly flub keeps you in 2nd. And so, still on Noob’s radar.
Coach Miller: Wait, that’s third person. Aren’t you this Noob?
Noob: I am Noob!!
Coach Miller: Right…. Oh, what’s this Tic-Tac looking thing at the in the whisky box?
Noob: Cyanide pill.
Coach Miller: Thanks for the thought, Kevorkian.
Noob: It’s raw caffeine powder in a quick-dissolving capsule.
Coach Miller: Clever. Ass hat!
Noob: Hey, have you been talking with previous D-Twosday Interview subject FC Puerto Rico head coach Marco Velez??
Coach Miller: Hehehehehe. Winning. * click *
Well, that was captivating and dreamy. Thanks again, Noobites, for joining me on another journey inside the enrapturing world of North American second-tier soccer. And no, you can’t have that two minutes of your life back. Stop asking.