For newer Noobites:
Every Tuesday, we celebrate the glory and wonder that is second division professional league soccer in North America with a special interview. Noob leaves it to you to decide what sort of “special” it ends up being. Check out ‘Interview D-Twosday’ category link for the archived magic and fun.
Anyway. So far we’ve been on a run of fabulous weeks with the always-engaging (if rarely willing) NASL Puerto Rico FC head coach Marco Velez.
Noob: Coach Velez, thanks for meeting with me for a D-Twosday interview on soccernoob!
Coach Marco Velez: Do you ever bother anyone else? We’re right in between games against back-to-back games with Miami.
Noob: A rough time, to be sure.
Coach Velez: I hear Coach Brandt of USL’s Pittsburgh Riverhounds is a nice enough guy.
Noob: I hear he’s a cretinous yahoo, ne’er-do-well and scalawag. We will not speak of him again.
Coach Velez: Whatever, weirdo.
Noob: So- your team dropped to second place after a home 0-2 loss to Miami FC.
Coach Velez: You’d bring that up.
Noob: Your men found woodwork early and had some other near misses as your side pressed throughout the match. Talk to me about your feelings.
Coach Velez: Feelings? I feel like we were unlucky against an excellent Miami team.
Noob: Agreed. And the second goal was only because you pulled the goalkeeper very late to try and capitalize on a set piece.
Coach Velez: You actually follow? I’m surprised and impressed.
Noob: But things don’t get any easier with that trip -to- Miami this week.
Coach Velez: Thanks, Captain Obvious.
Noob: Too bad you stunk up the joint the entire Spring Season and have virtually no path to the playoffs except to miraculously win the current Fall Season title.
Coach Velez: Ass. Hat! * phone click *
Golly, he’s a sensitive fellow, especially for the coach of a second place team. But hey! It’s why we love him. No generic coach-speak from Puerto Rico FC’s head coach Marco Velez, no sirree.
Thanks for reading another insightful, fresh-smelling D-Twosday interview. We’ll do it again next week! Even if Marco tries changing his phone number. Again.