1. Montreal Impact vs. Chicago Fire – MLS
The Impact have moved up to 7th place this past week, but they remain five points out of the playoffs. They need a result (win or tie) at the second -place Fire.
B. FC Astana vs. Celtic – UEFA Champions League
First leg of this tie. The Khazakhs play host, but Celtic should still get the win. If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap, after all.
3. Real Madrid vs. Barcelona – Spanish Super Cup
Real leads 3-1 on aggregate. They’ll be without Cristiano Ronaldo, as her was sent off during the first match. First he took off his shirt after a goal. (Big deal?) Then he got a second yellow card or flopping.. And all this is all of two minutes. Here’s to hoping the refs have it in for him all season long, just because that’d be mesmorizing.
Perhaps if Ronaldo looked this good, the ref might’ve let the shirt-offing slide. The Noob leaves it to you, gentle reader, to decide if he’s referring to Swayze or Farley. (Or is there even a wrong answer?) (Remixed. For her pleasure.)
4. Leon vs. Veracruz – Copa MX
Neither of this Liga MX sides should be vying for the title later, but this is a really evenly-matched fixture.
5. Andorra vs. Qatar – international friendly
What do you mean this behemoth won’t be on Fox Sports??
6. Charlotte Independence vs. Bethlehem Steel – USL
#1 looks to squash Bethlehem’s playoff hopes, as the latter just climbed into the #6 spot.
7. Gremio vs. Cruziero – Copa do Brazil
First leg of this semifinal. Cruziero’s been off to a surprisingly slow league start.
8. Botafogo vs. Flamengo – Copa do Brazil
The other semifinal, for the right to lose to Gremio.
9. Chicago Red Stars vs. Seattle Reign – NWSL
Both sides have seen others move past them in the standings this week. Chicago is still in the top four and looks to be playoff-bound, but Seattle slipped to #5.
10. FC Kansas City vs. Portland Thorns FC – NWSL
I’m pretty sure this league doesn’t to pro-rel, but if it did, KC would’ve just moved out of the relegation zone. Portland has climbed to 2nd place and should be fit to get three points on the road.