Welcome to the newest feature! Second division American soccer (NASL and USL) coaches will now be interviewed each and every Tuesday – get excited! I -know- they are.
Last Saturday, I snuck past Puerto Rico FC head coach Marco Velez’s gatekeeper like Christian Pulisic stealthily getting in behind a fullback. The phone interview was short though. I think I erred in judgement catching him so soon after that evening’s 0-0 tie against San Francisco Deltas. So let’s go back to the well a second time!
Noob: Coach Velez, thanks for agreeing to talk with me again.
Coach Velez: Tio Jorge?
Noob: Is that what your secretary told you? *laughing* Oh, she’s a ham. *cough*
Coach Velez: Who is this?
Noob: Of course it’s me, the SoccerNoob from soccernoob.com!
Coach Velez: Dios mio, you’re that oddball who somehow had my cell number on Saturday. When I find you–
Noob: You don’t have to, we’re talking right here for our new D-Twosday coaching interview segment.
Coach Velez: I’m gonna–
Noob: –give us fabulous insights into the breath-taking world of tier two footballl, I’m know, I’m excited! You’re 1-0-1 now after an utterly miserable one-win Spring Season campaign. Do you think Jacksonville Armada will be sleeping on your guys tomorrow since they have #1 FC Miami lurking a few days later?
Coach Velez: You’re such an– Wait, that wasn’t bad. Um, yes, we’re improving. You really think we could take J’ville?
Coach Velez: Ass hat. *hangs up*
Well, those insights were rich and aromatic. Thanks, Puerto Rico FC head coach Marco Velez. You’ll always be number one in our hearts. Even if you certainly sink back to #8 in the NASL again.