Ten to Track (Thursday, 8/17/2017)

1. Maritimo vs. Dynamo Kiev –  UEFA Europa League

The qualifying stages (first three rounds) are over, and we’re now one stage away from the “competition proper” (group stage). This is the “playoff round” round (fourth stage). I guess when football’s been the top game around for a century and more, these things aren’t so dizzying. See you clear-headed in 2142!

Portuguese and Ukrainian sides face off. Noob predicts away winner.

B. Krasnodar vs. Red Star Belgrade – UEFA Europa League

Actually, all the underdogs get to host the first match (leg) of the two games (ties) these pairs will play. Russian vs. Serbian sides.

3. Vardar vs. Fenerbahce – UEFA Europa League

Macedonian vs. Turkish sides.

4. SC Rheindorf Altach vs. Maccabi Tel-Aviv – UEFA Europa League

Tel-Aviv – safest airline in world? Sure, but they about to get their stuff blowed all up by the Austrian side. Noob calls the upset for this leg and tie.

5. Viirtorul Constata vs. FC Salzburg – UEFA Europa League

My autocorrect is as bamboozled as me whenever double-i team names roll around.

6. Portland Timbers 2 vs. Seattle Sounders SC 2 – USL

One reason the U.S. won’t see promotion/relegation anytime soon is that the so many of this league’s teams are essentially reserve squads for MLS teams. In fact, either now or soon (can’t remember) every MLS team will be required to have one.

7. Plaza Amador v. Walter Ferretti – CONCACAF Champions League

The omission of the s is intentional above. This matchup looks more like a court case docket listing than anything.  I think this Walter guy used subgrade materials when his construction company installed the plumbing for the hotel.

Bad Plumbing  You lose, checkerboard tile.

8. Alianza FC vs. Olimpia CONCACAF – Champions League

Can we please get a worldwide consensus on whether we’re spelling Olimpia- stuff with i or y, and k or c when for Oly/i/mpic?

9. Independiente vs. Atletico Tucuman – Copa Argentina

Merrrrrrrrrrr.

10. Indonesia U23 vs. Philippines U23 – Southeast Asian Games

I still have to look up the number of i’s and p’s in Philippines. Maybe they could adopt “Ma-i”, a former city-state located there centuries ago. Hyphen aside, so easy.

Author: Soccernoob

After a year of previewing soccer matches the world over with my own off-brand comedy, I now provide exclusive coverage for the Isle of Sodor Premier League, Championship, and FA Cup. (FC Dryaw 'til I die.)

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