TGIGF! The day of the week where Noob starts with a match or three from more familiar locales, then we jetset off to footyball parts less-heralded!
Noob’s a touch tardy getting today’s T2T posted. Apologies. I slept most of 22 straight hours with almost 105 fever. But I’m on the mend, and so let’s travel! Noob will ride in the back of the plane while Noobites enjoy first class. No point risking contagion more than need be.
Morelia vs. Veracruz – Liga MX
Morelia is in 5th. Veracruz is nearly in last. Not surprising. They’ve been in position to be the team that gets Relegated for some time. But we will cheer them on today, Noobites!
Remember Noob’s maxim– never, ever pull for a team that claims to be royalty. We have nonesuch in North America, and we like it that way! Morelia are the Monarcas. (8:00 PM Eastern, Univision Deportes)
Oooooh, crap on a cracker.
Noob may have said too much.
B. Bangor City vs. Bala Town – Welsh Premier
While not quite as dominant as last season, T.N.S. are all but officially the league champs. What’s left to determine is which team will finish #B and get the automatic Europa League invite, versus several other teams which will play a postseason tournament to decide which gets the other one.
If you ask Noob – and you really shouldn’t, I mean, have you been reading this weirdness for any length of time? – Bangor City will wreck Bala Town. Based on GD, two-points-back Bala is more like an 8th-place side. Maybe they win close, are tough and gritty. But I think 4th-place Connah’s Quay have a better chance of making the move.
The Welsh alphabet is weird. but Number B makes everything okay.
Dundalk vs. Cork City – Irish Premier
Ireland’s is a “summer league”, and so just getting started. These two finished Bth and 3rd respectively last year.
Fun Fact: The city of Dundalk is tied to the mythological hero Cú Chulainn. In battle frenzy, he was written to become a monster, attacking friends and enemies alike.
No, Noob did not add the cute little censoring square.
Nasaf vs. Buxoro – Uzebekistan Superleague
This is one of Asia’s ten best leagues, and they, too, are just getting started. These two finished #B and #6 last year. Noobites will be more likely to know league powerhouse Lokomotiv Tashkent.
Fun fact: Only about 10% of the Region’s (state) population lives in Qarshi, where Nasaf plays. The vast majority live in rural areas.
Esteghlal Khuzestan vs. Kooneh Be Kooneh – Iran Hazfi (FA) Cup
Persian Minnow Alert! Not that KBK winning would be an upset of epic proportions. E.K. is nearish the bottom of the table in the top league, while the visitors are #B in the second tier. This is a Semfinal, and it’s one match only.
Fun Fact: Kooneh Be Kooneh is the most delicious coffee in the world.
The Management would like to apologize for Noob’s antics. Noober, you might be thinking of Kona coffee? From Hawai’i? Persian coffee beans isn’t really a big industry.
Kooneh coffee beans are best when roasted young. They give a hearty flavor, though are not so distinctly bitter as Turkish drinks.
AmaZulu vs. Ubuntu Cape Town – South Africa Nedbank (FA) Cup
This is South Africa’s FA Cup, and like the English version, they allow lots of teams from many lower levels to compete. This is a Round of 16 one-off match. AmaZulu is a midtable premier team, while UCT is last place in the second tier.
Fun Fact: Ubuntu is the most delicious computer operating system in the world.
The Management would like to… okay, fine. Well-played. Asshat.
Masavu vs. Bright Stars – Uganda Super League
Uganda’s top league doesn’t appear to even be in the top 16 in Africa, based admittedly on just one CAF source Noob found. But we’re going, Noobites! With our devotion and support, they can… oh bloody hell. They’re just not good.
Masavu are in the Relegation Zone, looking likely to get dropped down to the Uganda Big League. They’d be doing well just to get a draw against mid-table Bright Stars.
Fun Fact: Masavu’s crest looks like an early 80’s southern rock album cover.
Al Nawair vs. Al Ittihad – Syria Premier
Syria’s is only the #16-ranked league in Asia, so they only get one entry into the AFC Champions League. Al-Ittihad is tied for #B, and only two points behind Al Jaish. This could be an entertaining, wide open game to watch if it’s findable on some internet stream. They can’t defend and score tons respectively.
Is that a ferris wheel?
Energetik vs. Balkan – Turkmenistan Yokary Liga
Not sure why Noob had a thought on it, but I’m surprised this league is as high as #26 of 46 Asian national premier leagues. Apologies, Turkmenistan. The new season is just starting. These two were #6 and #4 last year.
Fun fact: According to one Christian subgroup – the Keraites – Jesus’ mother Mary is buried in her namesake town of Mary (Energetik’s home).
Orara Valley vs. Boambee Bombers – Australia FFA Cup
This is the second round of Australia’s F(F)A Cup. Would we care about teams from Northern New South Wales’ seven leagues any other day of week? Perhaps not. But it’s globetrotting Friday! Both teams received byes into this round, so it’s their first Cup action.
Fun Fact: This group was founded all the way back in 1884.