The ten most important matches to follow for us- the newish American fans- get a quick-and-dirty treatment today.
Why? You may believe, you may not. The Management often casts doubts on my claims here, soccer-y and otherwise.
Noober worked 11 hours, then stayed up WAY too late playing tournament-style Scrabble with a fellow burgeoning expert. I tried writing at 2am, but literally couldn’t keep the thoughts together in my noggin. And I had an early start to get to a thing with the Christian Motorcycle Association, though I am neither a pastor nor biker.
Uno! Seattle Sounders vs. Minnesota United – MLS
Uaually-powerful Seattle can’t score so far this early season. Minnesota are not too great then or now This one’s on ESPN, maybe 4pm Eastern.
RESULT: Seattle 3-0
Numero B! Orlando Pride vs Houston Dash – NWSL
It’s a battle of Swamp City- women’s teams! Orlando so far haven’t shown much like they did last year. Houston still isn’t good.
The Management says cities built on swamps are worthy of our scorn, and Noob’s on board. Root for 0-0 and fatigue.
RESULT: Orlando 1-0
Tres! Santos vs UNAM Pumas – Liga MX
#2 hosts #10. Santos are already guaranteed a spot in the postseason Liguilla. Pumas can get in that top right still, as the table is tight. But this is a tough must-win on the road.
RESULT: Pumas 1-2 Pumas climb up into a tie for 6th with two matches to go in the regular season.
4. Chelsea vs Southampton – FA Cup
Southampton would like a trophy. Who wouldn’t? But perhaps they should conserve their starters’ energies for league play. They’re in the Relegation Zone.
And Chelsea will be super motivated since it looks like they will do no better than 5th in league, miss out on the next Champion League.
RESULT: Chelsea 2-0
Cinco! Manchester City vs Lyon – UEFA women’s Champions League
Two unsurprising, traditional powers face off in today’s Semifinal. Lyon are, if memory serves, the three-time defending champs. This is the first of two legs.
Seis! Juventus vs Napoli – Serie A
Italy’s #1 and 2! This has been a treeee-mendous title race. Juve now lead by four in the table though. Napoli needs a result here, or it may be all over.
RESULT: Napoli 0-1 High drama! With a set piece-header in the 90′, Napoli pull to within one of Juve. They have four league matches each left to play.
Siete! Club Brugge vs Standard Liege – Belgium First División A
#1 hosts #4 in the league’s postseason table. Maybe a Deluxe Liege would have a chance today. Standard won’t.
RESULT: 4-4 Standard gets the equalizer at 90′!
Ocho! Hadjuk Split vs Dinamo Zagreb – Croatia First Division
#1 vs #2! HJ have some of the most notorious hooligans around. Follow this one just for the body count.
RESULT: D.Z. 1-2 Zagreb opens up an eight-point lead in the table. That’s likely it for the title.
Nueve! AZ Alkmaar vs Feyenoord – Netherlands FA Cup
The final! The league’s #4 and 3 teams. This is their season. Neither is likely to qualify for CL.
RESULT: Feyenoord 0-3
Dies! Diez? How rusty is Noob’s Spanish?! Penarol vs Nacional- Uruguay Premier
It’s not Brazil or Argentina, but it’s the top two in this country! Impress the opposite sex with your knowledge of the mighty three-U nation of footyball just knowing the club names.