Ten to Track (Thursday, 8/24/2017)

1. Zenit St. Petersburg vs. FC Utrecht – Europa League

Zenit are the “anti-aircraft gunners”. Maybe it sounds less super-specific and weird in Russian. Utrecht lead 1-0 on aggregate.

B. FC Midtjylland vs. Apollon Limassol – Europa League

One of Apollon Limassol’s nicknames is simply “God”. Does that work in Cypriot bars with the ladies, really? Seems more douchebag, less alpha. Limassol lead 3-2 on aggregate.

Image result for douchebag alpha  Doucheville, Cyprus.  Check Trip Advisor before visiting.

3. Red Star Belgrade vs. Krasnodar – Europa League

RSB was the best team from Yugoslavia. They have never qualified for Champions League via Serbia. Krasnodar lead 3-2 on aggregate.

4. Hajduk Split vs. Everton – Europa League

I listened to some of the first game of this the tie on satellite radio. Those Croatian fans are a handful! FIFA probably has some more colorful descriptives, as they have a history of shenanigans. Everton lead 2-0 on aggregate.

Image result for hajduk split hooligans  “Less Filling!   Tastes Great!”… “Oh s**t!”

5. Athletic Bilbao vs. Panathinaikos – Europa League

Bilbao is famous for it’s “cantera” policy, signing only Basque players They leads 3-2 on aggregate.

6. Plaza Amador vs. Walter Ferretti – CONCACAF league

These are two evenly matched teams, and they finished with a scoreless draw in the first leg of the tie.

7. Olimpia vs. Alianza – CONCACAF league

The Honduran hosts already lead 1-0 on aggregate and should make quick work of the El Salvadoran side.

8. Nacional vs. Estudiantes la Plata – Copa Sudamericana

This Copa is the South American equivalent of UEFA’s Europa League. It is in the round of 16, where apparently matchups can still be uneven. Because Argentina’s Estudiantes are going to house the Paraguayans.

9. Deportivo Cali vs. America Cali – Copa Colombia

Deportivo leads 1-0 on aggregate in this quarterfinal tie. Winner gets to pick up any silver the colonial Spaniards dropped back in the day after mauling the mines.

10. Oriente Petrolero vs. The Strongest – Bolivia Professional League

The Strongest, you should go clubbin’ with team “God” from Cyrpus. I wonder which would lead and which would act as wingman.

Image result for bullshit you can be mine  So which team gets to be bloated, throat cancer Val Kilmer 30 years from now?

Author: Soccernoob

After a year of previewing soccer matches the world over with my own off-brand comedy, I now provide exclusive coverage for the Isle of Sodor Premier League, Championship, and FA Cup. (FC Dryaw 'til I die.)

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