Ten to Track (8/12/2017)

1. Seattle Sounders FC vs. Sporting Kansas City – MLS

KC is number one in a very tight Western Division, Seattle 4th.

I had a TA in college who was a big Sounders fan. I intercepted this medical communique of his back in the day.

Image result for douchebag teacher assistant

B. Houston Dynamo vs. San Jose Earthquakes – MLS

San Jose is just a point up on Vancouver for the final Western Division playoff spot. Houston is #2, but they can bugger off. Once again, Noob and the Management don’t like cities built on swamps!

3. Chicago Red Stars vs. Portland Thorns – NWSL

#2 vs. #3 in the standings. Neither one is in serious danger of falling below the playoff 4th place line with four games to go.

4. West Bromwich Albion vs. AFC Bournemouth – English Premiere League

The Noob is doing genealogy research and believes his forefathers may have been form the south of England., so Bournemouth may soon be an adopted team. In the meantime, neither of these teams seems to be predicted for great both both finished top ten last season.

5. Monterrey vs. Guadalajara – Liga MX

Neither side as lost early on this season. Guadalajara hasn’t won either – 0-3-0. These are last season’s #2 and #3 sides.

6. Consadole Sapporo vs. Ventforet Kofu – Japanese J-League

Two lower-rung teams, but we must get The Management his fix

7. Puerto Rico FC vs. San Francisco Deltas – NASL

I interviewed Puerto Rico FC head coach Marco Velez recently. I asked him

Noob:  “What’s been the key for yout club’s Spring Season 1-1-0 start after only winning game during the Fall campaign.”

Marco Velez: “Ass hat. Who are you with again?”

Well-said, Coach.

8. Swope Park Rangers vs. Orange County FC – USL

Our adopted Rangers have fallen to 3rd in the Western Division. Orange County FC is only in 9th, must start getting upsets like this opportunity to move up to top six for a playoff spot.

9. CSKA Moscow vs. Spartak Moscow – Russian Premier League

#2 vs. #1 last season, these teams are only off to so-so starts.

10. IBV vs. FH –  Icelandic Cup Final!

IBV sucks and it’s a miracle they made it to the Final. FH will rule at neutral Laugardalsvollur.

Author: Soccernoob

After a year of previewing soccer matches the world over with my own off-brand comedy, I now provide exclusive coverage for the Isle of Sodor Premier League, Championship, and FA Cup. (FC Dryaw 'til I die.)

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