1. Sporting Kansas City vs. San Jose Earthquakes – U.S. Open Cup
It’s not clear to me how seriously teams take this event since it’s during the MLS regular season. I suspect they care more than European teams do over their Super Cups.
B. Juarez vs. Guadalajara – Copa MX (group stage)
Juarez finished 4th in the tier two Ascenso MX last season (Well, half season. More on that another time.). They’ve probably got a lot more than they can handle in last season’s Liga MX 5th place side. But Juarez gets to host, so fun to see if this minnow can swim.
I know they call smaller league teams minnows in England. I wonder if it’s used in Mexico. “Pececillos”. Let’s practice.
“Por que tengo pececillos in mis pantalones?” *nod*
3. Palmeiras vs. Barcelona SC – Copa Libertadores
Most competitive-looking of the Round of 16 games slated for today.
4. Colchester United FC vs. Aston Villa – EFL Cup
Colchester plays in League Two, three levels off Premiere. The Noob thinks they reside in the professional dregs because of their crappy nickname – “the U’s”. They were or are also The Eagles, and their badge actually has a Roman eagle standard. Infinitely cooler.
[Actual photo preceding The Battle of Teuteborg Forest]
The Noob loves his history.
5. Vissel Kobe vs. Kashima Antlers – J-League
The Management, as we’ve learned previously, is a big Japanophile. The Noob is afeared of mighty retribution if he fails to Track a J-League game and one or more is available. His wrath may be swift and terrible!
Maybe we can crowdfund a gift certificate to a soapland for The Management’s trip to Land of the Rising Sun.
6. Honduras Progreso vs. Chorrillo – CONCACAF League (group stage)
Count thy blessings, Panamanian Chorrillo team. You’re only in this thing because The National Football Federation of Guatemala was suspended from all international competitions over political interference of some kind by your actual government.
Oh and leave Belize alone. American Realtors have 6% to keep earning.
7. Ludogorets Razgrad vs. Botev Plovdiv – Bulgairan Super Cup
You can’t end so many words in V, Bulgarian Soccer! Learn you some American.
8. APOEL Nicosia vs. Apollon Limassol – Cypriot Super Cup
I -think- this in @ Nicosia. I blame Turkey for interfering, as usual in Cyprus.
9. Unversidad de Catolica vs. Talca – Copa Chile (Round of 16)
If you don’t think the Noob likes writing “Cope Chile”, you don’t know me. Of course, I don’t know me. I’m so tired all the time.
Severe sleep apnea.
What is this place? Where are my pants? Did I have a good time?
10. Toronto FC II vs. Charlotte Independence – USL
Because American Tier Two soccer r00ls. And Canadia.